I’m Guessing This Woman Hasn’t Robbed Many Banks

Rule number one for a bank robber preparing a note for the teller: make it legible!

“Hokc ogll sht es wlll ikkk you! Now!”

I totally made that up. In her defense, Stephanie Martin’s note probably wasn’t that bad. Here’s what happened, as reported by kptv.com in Oregon:

Hillsboro police said Stephanie Martin walked into a Wells Fargo bank in Hillsboro and handed the teller a note that read, “Need $300 or I’ll kill you. I’m serious.”

The teller told Martin she couldn’t read the handwriting, police said. Martin then walked to a counter and re-wrote the note on a bank slip, according to Lt. Mike Rouches, of the Hillsboro Police Department.

The teller then hit the silent alarm and the bank’s manager asked how he could help Martin, Rouches said.

Note, what note?

Martin then said she wanted to open an account with the bank, according to officers.

They bought it, right?

Police and FBI agents arrived at the scene and arrested Martin

Since EVERYBODY knows about silent alarms, dye packs, etc., there is only one possible explanation: drugs.

… police determined [Martin] was under the influence of drugs …

Doh!