Legal Juice
Wow. Quite a compendium. These folks were caught (and some were busted for) having sex in all kinds of places. As reported by The Mirror, the places are …
On a cop car
For some people having sex in public just isn’t daring enough and they must take it that extra mile by, for instance, having sex on a police car. But not just any old cop car, one that has bobbies in it.
A randy Dutch couple – known for their clogs and proclivity to fornicate in full view of emergency service personnel – decided the bonnet was the place to bonk and say they didn’t notice the two cops sitting in the car (eating donuts and watching, no doubt).
The police got out of their car and politely asked the couple to stop and go somewhere else, as the law doesn’t specifically prohibit people from having sex on top of a cop car but does state that police officers need to be available for duty.
In church
Sometimes the Holy Spirit takes over in church and people leap to their feet to praise the Lord. A couple in Cesena, Italy, put a whole new spin on worship when they ‘took communion’ in the confessional booth during morning mass.
The police were called after members of the congregation heard ‘grunts and moans’. The couple – who were drunk – were cautioned for obscene acts and disturbing a religious function, which ‘religious function’ was disturbed we ask?
At school
That hotbed of hormones is a well known breeding ground for dangerous sexual liaisons but it’s not so controversial if two teachers get together on campus, unless they do it in front of a security camera.
That’s exactly what one stupid, married principal in North Carolina did. Not once, but many times with various women. He had the presence of mind to do it behind closed doors but neglected to turn off, or avoid, the security camera pointing directly at his desk. Video was later released forcing him and his co-stars to resign.
In a car park (parking garage)
A car park isn’t a particularly unusual place to find a copulating couple but this month two love cheats were exposed in Scotland when they “got carried away”. Gillian Stalker and John McDougall denied ‘dogging’ after having sex in a car and moving the romp outside into the car park at Irvine beach in Ayrshire.
Gillian Stalker, 40, said she was aware of another man watching them from his car but denied police claims that the area was busy with dog walkers and children and said neither she nor her lover would normally have sex in public.
The self-employed saleswoman told the court: “John and myself had engaged in some sexual activity in the car. “But as there was not much room, and also because it was a nice day, we decided to continue outside and in a public place.”
She said she and McDougall did not take much notice of the man watching them “as we were getting a bit carried away, as you do in a situation like that”.
In a bank
The French are well known for their sexual passion and one couple just couldn’t hold back when they found themselves alone in the bank.
The duo was caught by a group of teenagers armed with a mobile phone across the street. Be warned, the video is explicit, but the woman’s reaction when she realised she’s been sprung is priceless. She faints.
In the cockpit
In 1916, the first ever known case of sex on a plane resulted in a plane crash – probably because it was the pilot who was immersed in the action. Is this why it’s called the cockpit?
The National Transportation Safety Board has also attributed one fatal accident to a pilot being distracted by extra-curricular activities noting that she made an “improper in-flight decision to divert her attention to other activities not related to the conduct of the flight.”
Clear evidence that while joining the mile high club may be fun it’s not such a great idea if you’re in charge of keeping the plane up.
At work
One quite night in England a Polish contractor working late on a children’s hospital decided the stress of the day was just too much and he needed to relieve himself. There beneath him lay Henry, a vacuum cleaner with a great big cartoon smile on its face. Who could possibly resist?
A passing security guard saw the man in flagrante and asked him to clean himself, and the vacuum, up before leaving the premises.
On a crane
Have you ever looked at a crane and thought ‘Pwoar, I’d really like to get down on that’? Thought not. But Florida couple Justin Dunn and Nicole Albert climbed up on a crane in broad daylight to bump and grind.
The couple got off with just a warning, as Dunn’s father owned the crane and it was private property. They were told to try to be more discrete in the future.
In jail
In Boston Legal lawyers are prone to frenzied expressions of affection on the law books so perhaps we should expect high jinks of a David E. Kelly kind in real life?
Prison tends to evoke unfortunate images best left untouched but nothing as outrageous as a Seattle public defender getting caught having sexual relations with a triple-murder defendant she was representing.
Train tracks
This September a couple in South Africa decided that having sex in the path of a fast-moving train was a good idea…
When the train pulled into the station and the conductor shouted out the window for the couple to move they decided to finish off rather than save their own lives.