You’ve heard the expression “Brilliant minds think alike.” Well, what about drunk minds? As reported by nj.com:
Officers Matthew McAuliffe and Robert Appel responded to a report of two men who crashed into a rock wall in the area of Simpson Avenue and Whitfield Place, police said.
Appel found a blue van at the the Sommerfield Avenue-Strowbridge Road intersection and pulled it over, police said. McAuliffe soon joined him at the traffic stop.
In the US, with our “zero tolerance” policies for so many things, this kid would have been suspended. Period. Fortunately for him, the boy resides in the UK. As reported at Scotsman.com:
Bomb disposal experts were called to a school in Hamilton, South Lanarkshire this morning amid reports that a pupil had brought a hand grenade into the building.
The pupil at Hamilton Grammar School brought the decommisioned device to class as part of a history project.
Fortunately for the clerk in this Little River, South Carolina store, this “armed” robber is not very good at robbery. As reported by wmbfnews.com:
[33-year-old Joshua Page Edwards] walked into the store to allegedly shop for a gift, and perused the shop with the clerk before walking up to the counter and handing over a note.
Aren’t notes a bank robbery thing? Anyway …
If you have ever been lucky enough to fly first class, maybe you’ll have some understanding of what this man did… As reported by The Highline Times (Washington State):
A man sits in King County jail after he allegedly bolted through a security checkpoint at Sea-Tac Airport and onto an empty plane. The suspect did not have a plane ticket when he ran through the TSA passenger screening area. The man reportedly made it to Gate D10 and is accused of going through emergency exit doors and onto an airport ramp. He then climbed the stairs to the jetway, broke safety glass on a security door, made it on to an empty American Airlines plane and belted himself in a first class seat. Officers entered the plane and were able to take the suspect into custody after a short struggle. The man, in his late 20ʼs, was likely under the influence of drugs. A judge set bail at $100,000.
First, what the hell kind of security is that? A guy who is completely wasted makes it through the TSA screening, gets all the way to Gate D10 (you know that’s not close), and then makes it onto a plane? And $100,000 bail seems a little excessive. He hardly sounds like a flight risk (get it?).
Indeed, making his food addictive was the goal of a Chinese restauranteur. As reported by The South China Morning Post:
A noodle shop owner was detained after he was discovered to have been adding parts of a poppy plant – from which opium is made – to food so that customers would keep coming back.
The noodle shop’s owner was held for questioning and confessed that he purchased 2kg of poppy shells (the bud of the plant in which poppy seeds are found) for 600 yuan (HK$756) in August.
This gent seems like the neighbor from hell, especially if the comments following the story are true. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:
A 48-year-old man was arrested at 3:30 p.m. Sunday in Myakka after violating Manatee County’s noise ordinance a fourth time, according to authorities.
Pete Hunsader was playing loud music in the 2400 block of 53rd Avenue East, Myakka, when deputies asked him to turn it down, according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.
It is abundantly clear that you just don’t mess with Malone. That dog can flat-out smell, as a gent with a full cavity discovered. As reported by kvia.com (El Paso, Texas):
The seizure was made at approximately 1:30 p.m. Monday at the Paso Del Norte pedestrian crossing. A 35-year-old U.S. citizen from El Paso entered the port from Mexico and was selected for a secondary exam by CBP officers. CBP drug sniffing dog “Malone” alerted to the man. During the course of an interview with CBP officers the subject admitted that he had heroin concealed within his body. The subject removed a single oval shaped pellet from an internal cavity. The contents of the 136 gram bundle tested positive for heroin.
CBP officers took custody of the subject and turned him over to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement HSI special agents for arrest. Federal prosecution was accepted and HSI agents booked the subject, Paulo Alfredo Macias, into the El Paso County Jail where he is currently being detained without bond.
(No, not the kind of flash in the picture above.) Assuming everything this woman says is true, you just have to scratch your head. As reported by www.timesonline (Beaver, Pennsylvania):
The owner of a Moon Township landscaping business has been charged with exposing himself to a female passenger in his car. Moon police have charged 72-year-old Armando Zucchero of 233 Ewings Mill Road, owner of Zucchero Landscaping, by mail with indecent exposure.
So what happened?
Actually, madam, your money isn’t good anywhere in the United Kingdom. As a personal injury lawyer, but for his alter ego, this is not something The Juice would normally come across. No doubt Ms. Louise Munro would not have come across a law like the Coinage Act of 1971 either, had she not tried to pay for her gas with, well, coins! As reported by The Liverpool Echo:
Staff at the BP garage in Queens Drive, West Derby, told 24-year-old Louise Munro that they could not accept the 1p and 2p pieces she offered after her bank card failed because of a system failure.
Say what?
Yeah, yeah. Someone has to review vanity plate applications in every state. Of course, what is approved and what isn’t never seems to make a whole lot of sense. If you want to see A TON of plates requested in Florida and whether they were accepted or rejected, click here. Here’s a sampling, as reported by WTSP.com:
While G8TR H8R, G8TR H8R2, G8R H8, G8RS SUK, and G8R PIMP were all rejected, G8TR HTR was approved in 2007.
While OLD FART was rejected, HORNMAN was approved.
