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Kiss%20Of%20Death%20movie%20picture%20weird.gif I think Representative Borris Miles will have a tough time explaining this (as reported by The Houston Chronicle):

… in December … Miles crashed a party at the posh St. Regis Hotel. Party host David Harris said a drunken Miles shocked guests with loud, profane language before planting a Godfather-style “kiss of death” on his cheeks [and tried to grab his groin, per Mr. Harris], handing him a pistol and declaring,”You don’t know what I’m capable of doing.”

After proclaiming himself a “gangsta,” Miles then allegedly kissed a female guest on the lips while her husband was away from the table.

Shazam! What came of these incidents?

Prosecutors are scrutinizing the episode. Meanwhile, the female recipient of Miles’ unsolicited smooch filed a lawsuit seeking $1 million in damages and demanding the lawmaker be tested for HIV. A hearing is set for Feb. 15.

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judge.gifAs reported in The Star-Ledger,

The Advisory Committee on Judicial Misconduct charged that Superior Court Judge F. Michael Giles [Essex County, New Jersey] launched a tirade against Sebastian Bio when the attorney pressed him on a legal matter in 2006.

The tirade?

“I said get the [hell/fuck] out of my courtroom,” Giles is accused of saying. “What the [hell/fuck] don’t you understand? Shut the [hell/fuck] up and get the [hell/fuck] out of here. I have a meeting this afternoon.” [expletives reinserted].

What the (expletive)! So what’s next?

Under court rules, Giles has 20 days to answer the committee’s charges, after which the committee may convene a formal hearing on whether to recommend discipline to the Supreme Court.

To read more (just a little bit) click here.

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gay%20flag%20huge%20sign%20rainbow%20large%20homosexual.gifSurely Ponce de Leon High School (Florida) Principal David Davis would deny it’s hatin’. Decide for yourself. As reported by the Student Press Law Center:

The lawsuit, filed Thursday [by a junior at the school], alleges that Principal David Davis told several students who were wearing rainbow belts and shirts and writing pro-gay expressions on their hands that supporting gay and lesbian rights was impermissible at the school. Davis suspended several of the students, leading junior Heather Gillman to question what expressions the school board prohibits.

Benjamin James Stevenson, a Florida ACLU attorney representing Gillman, sent a letter to the school board asking for guidance on what was regarded as permissible speech. The letter included 16 examples of phrases, symbols and images, such as “I Support My Gay Friends,” “GP [Gay Pride]” and “Pro-Gay Marriage,” and asked which if any of the symbols or phrases students could wear at school.

Brandon J. Young, an attorney for the school board, replied in a Nov. 12 letter that none of the symbols or phrases would be allowed. The letter said that, although the school board does not restrict pro-gay or anti-gay expression as such, school policy bars students from wearing anything “that may reasonably disrupt and interfere with the educational process of that student or other students.”

No! No! Not …. the rainbow! We’re doomed! So how much loot is the student asking for? A dollar.

The complaint asks the court for an injunction to prohibit school officials from suppressing students’ First Amendment rights. Among other things, the suit also asks for $1 in nominal damages, attorney fees and a declaration that the school violated Gillman’s rights.

To read more (a fair amount) click here.

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True. As reported in The Knox County Times, Camden-Rockport Middle School in New Jersey has banned farting, apparently due to a bunch of superfarting eighth-graders. This is from the Fire Cracker, the school’s newsletter:

Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS. It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!

A few questions: (1) If the noise emanates from a group of kids, how will the Fart Monitor know who uncorked it? (2) Will the teacher supervising the detention get time-and-a-half? A clothes pin? Hey Principal Libby, lighten up. It’s just a phase! You can read more (just a little) here.

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Earlier this month, the North Carolina Legislature honored Dr. Bob Crummie as “doctor of the day.” In addition to some interesting “deep thoughts” (see below), Dr. Bob has had a few run-ins with the law:

In 1997, he was convicted of driving while intoxicated. (Okay, that was a while ago.)

In March 2006, he was charged with driving while intoxicated. He had an open bottle of wine in his coat pocket. (Big-ass pockets, or one of those wine-o miniatures?)

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captain%20obvious%20funny%20picture%20pink%20cape.jpg Okay, so the 2 cops were in an unmarked car in street clothes [sort of]. But perhaps alleged prostitute Rose M. Townsend should have picked up on the following signs:

Detective Osborne was wearing a tactical vest with the word “Police” in large letters!

Detective Hamblin was wearing his badge on the outside of his clothing.

Oh, and after Ms. Townsend had approached the car and said “I’m looking to party,” both Detective’s radios “received transmissions dispatching units on a run,” per Detective Hamblin.

So she took off, right? Nope. As reported in The Indianapolis Star:

Townsend, unaware that the men were officers, allegedly offered to perform a sex act in exchange for $20, according to the report.

“Are you kidding?” Hamblin reportedly asked Townsend.

“No, I am not kidding,” she replied, according to the report.

Osborne then got out of the vehicle and placed Townsend under arrest.

“What did I do wrong?” Townsend reportedly asked as the handcuffs were being placed on her wrists.

Zoinks!

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What would you do if your dog ate the food off your plate? Me and Devin Shane Calhoun, well sir, we’d shoot him. (Note to PETA, truly, I like dogs.) As for Mr. Calhoun, of Conifer Colorado, he definitely does not. As reported by UPI:

A Conifer, Colo., man faces up to 18 months in jail and a $5,000 fine after he pleaded guilty to shooting a dog for taking food from his plate.

A spokeswoman for the Jefferson County District Attorney’s Office said Devin Shane Calhoun pleaded guilty to animal cruelty and prohibited use of a weapon, the Denver Post reported Tuesday.

Court documents quoted family members as saying Calhoun became enraged after the family dog, Lucky, took food from his plate while the man was outside. He then took the dog outside and shot him.

Lucky survived his gunshot wound. Calhoun is scheduled to be sentenced on March 12.

Lucky Lucky. I wonder how dog-shooters are treated in jail?

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Doctor%20cartoon%20bad%20funny%20silly%20good.jpgAs reported by The College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario, here is the story of Dr. John Geoffrey Limbert of Victoria, British Columbia:

This family physician cared for a female patient for five years during which time she had two pregnancies. Subsequently, he established himself as a full-time sex therapist [I think you can guess where this is going] and she sought his professional advice. During this therapy he began to embrace her for progressively long periods of time. He advised her against having sexual relations with her husband and the marital relationship deteriorated considerably.

On one occasion during a pelvic examination he made inappropriate sexual remarks about her pelvic anatomy and breasts.

Later, they became involved in inappropriate activity related to the act of urination, which they called “water sports”, which was repeated up to three times weekly. The patient fell in love with the doctor. Ultimately the interaction was discovered by the doctor’s wife.

Then what?

The doctor apologized to the patient for his inappropriate behaviour, entered into therapy and consented to his therapist reporting his behaviour to the College.

So what happened to Dr. Limbert?

[He] was charged with professional misconduct for having engaged in sexual impropriety with a patient (among other things). He pleaded guilty to professional misconduct but not to incompetence. [Not misconduct! UFB!]

The Committee had no difficulty in accepting the plea of guilty and revoked the physician’s licence. Upon receiving the doctor’s undertaking not to appeal the decision, there was no need to consider the allegation of incompetence…

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Sorry, no f-bombs. But, here’s a little tale courtesy of John Browning of The Southeast Texas Record:

Father Luis Alfredo Rios of St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Crystal Lake, Ill., was sued for making a “wrongful sermon” by one of his parishioners, Angel Llarona. Llarona left two voicemail messages for Father Rios complaining about the quality of his sermonizing.

The next Sunday, Father Rios allegedly played the voicemails for the congregation, and commented on Llaroma’s effectiveness as someone in charge of religious education for the parish. The priest allegedly asked the congregants “what should we do, should we send him to hell or to another parish?” Now, Mr. Llarona wants at least $50,000.

Since the First Amendment precludes judges from inquiring into religious doctrine or belief, only a few courts have taken on such “wrongful sermon” cases.

In 2004, a New Mexico court rejected defamation claims against a priest who denounced the deceased at a funeral service. The judge wryly noted that churches have been “talking about sending people to hell for many a year. People aren’t shocked by it.”

The moral of the story: Don’t ever leave a voicemail you wouldn’t want the entire world to hear! How could you not know this? Alec Baldwin anyone?

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Parents get divorced. Dad converts to Judaism, and wants son circumsised – and Mom doesn’t. Now if I were to to tell you that the son istwelve years old, who else do you think they should ask? Yes, junior, of course! You would think someone would have thought of this before the case worked its way up to the Oregon Supreme Court! Nope – not in the 3 years the parents have been litigating this issue. So the Court sent the case back with instructions to determine what junior wants. That shouldn’t take long.