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cop%20eating%20doughnut%20police%20policeman.jpg But not for the reasons you might suspect. Up in Douglas County, Oregon, 2 fellers dressed like cowboys offered some doughnuts to a couple deputies. Now they didn’t take offense, mind you, just notice of how these dudes were dressed. So when they responded to a burglary, in which doughnuts were among the stolen items, and there were cowboys boot prints at the crime scene …

cop%20eating%20doughnut%20tiny%20policmean%20police.jpg I think even Barney Fife (see below) might have solved this one. To the dismay of Vincent Jonathan Whitley, age 19, and Adam Brett Hancock, age 21, these officers quickly put the pieces together. The cowboys were arrested. In addition to the doughnuts, they stole cigarettes and candy from the Looking Glass Store. That’s the crime. The time? 20 days plus 18 months probation, plus restitution of $895. Here’s the source.

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serena%20kozakura%20large%20breasts%20big%20chest%20boobs.jpg For real – this defense was really used in court. The charge against Japanese pin-up Serena Kozakura was kicking a hole in a door, and then crawling through it to enter an apartment. She was convicted. On appeal, Serena’s lawyer argued that, with a 44-inch chest, she could not possibly have fit through the hole in the door! The Judge agreed, and tossed the case. Said Serena,

“I used to hate my body so much, but it was my breasts that won in court.”

Shazam! Props to wizbangblog and Japundit for finding this story. Click here to see the story as posted on Weird Asia News (including photos and video).

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say%20cheese%20sign.jpg Just ask Vern Potter. Seems old Vern was wanted for insurance fraud relating to a personal injury claim from an automobile accident. Obviously he didn’t get enough to retire on, because he took a job with a roofing company. Just recently, he was up on the roof of an elementary school, shoveling snow off, when a photographer from the New Hampshire Union Leader took his picture. Well sir, it made the papers, and was seen by a Corcord, New Hampshire policman, who recognized Vern. So the police went to the school and got their man.

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It may have seemed like infinity, but no, only twenty-five years! And it may not be over yet! As reported on Canada.com:

In 1983, the Public Service Alliance of Canada (PSAC), which represented clerical workers at Canada Post, filed a human rights complaint against the corporation, saying it paid lower wages to the mostly female workers of its clerical section, than to the mostly male workers in its operations section.

The union wanted Canada Post to pay $300 million in back wages to about 6,000 current and former workers, most of them women.

Why did it take so long? Ten years of investigating, and almost 12 years of hearings!

Finally, in 2005, a tribunal of the Canadian Human Rights commission upheld the discrimination complaint but ordered Canada Post to pay only half the amount in back-pay the union had asked for.

Not so fast. The Federal Court of Canada just overturned the award, and Justice Michael Kelen was pissed!

“The long hearing before the Tribunal is reminiscent of the trial in Charles Dickens’ Bleak House over the Jarndyce Estate,” Justice Kelen wrote. “Jarndyce v. Jarndyce concerned the fate of a large inheritance, which dragged on for many generations. The trial finally came to an end after legal costs had devoured the entire estate.”

The group representing the Canada Post workers is deciding whether it will appeal. Mercy! You can read more here.

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So Sheila Brooks of Indianapolis put her one and three-year-old children in a tub with 9 inches of water and left the room to get some clothes. Per The Indianapolis Star:

“Daesheana [Brooks’ seven-year-old daughter] stated that they were in her mother’s bedroom watching American Idol on TV for several minutes and her mother suddenly stated that she forgot and left the two youngest children in the tub,” Officer Gustavia Dodson wrote in the report.

Ms. Brooks then dashed into the bathroom, right? Wrong.

Brooks told Daesheana to take the children out of the tub, police said. Daesheana found Sirius submerged and called for her mother.

She was so busy watching “American Idol” that she sent her seven-year-old daughter to get her one and three-year-old kids out of the tub. The three-year-old child, Sirius, is in critical condition. Needless to say, Ms. Brooks’ other four children were removed from her custody

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This will be the only defense available to a man who robbed a convenience store in Des Moines, Iowa and left his jacket behind – WITH HIS W-2 IN THE POCKET! Doh! The man is still at large, though probably not for long, since he only netted $115 in the heist.

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How do we know this? Because Daniel Kuch, of Pasco, Washington, had his friend shoot him, and then told the police he was shot while jogging. Could work really be that bad? Apparently Kuch wanted to avoid an upcoming drug test. Both Kuch and his friend were busted. Kuch will likely be charged with false reporting, and the shooter for reckless endangerment.

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Chef%20angry%20mad%20cook%20south%20park.gif Pubes! “According to the [police] complaint, a second kitchen worker told police [the cook] put a slit in the steak and pushed something inside, then stated, “These are my pubes,” referring to pubic hair.” (The cook said they were facial hairs. Huh?)

Why would a cook do this? He was pissed that the customer said the first steak was “medium,” not “rare” per his order. What happened to Ryan Kropp, the cook?

Kropp, 24, of West Bend, was charged Wednesday with a felony of placing foreign objects in edibles, carrying up to 3 1/2 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. He was released on a signature bond.

Damn! A felony? Up to 3 1/2 years?

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Show up for questioning about stolen clothes, including a jacket, wearing the stolen jacket! As reported at SheboyganPress.com,

Felipe M. Medina, of Sheboygan, was charged Thursday with a misdemeanor count of retail theft.

The criminal complaint said Medina took a pair of blue jeans, a black T-shirt and a black jacket from a Kohl’s store on Nov. 27 in Sheboygan. Police Capt. James Veeser identified Medina as the suspect after viewing the store surveillance tape.

A detective asked Medina to come to the police station Wednesday. He admitted in a police interview that he took the clothes and was currently wearing the stolen jacket, the complaint said.

He faces up to nine months in jail if convicted.

Folks have been making it easy for the police lately. Check out this story, and this one.

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Over the 14 years Noel “Nutsy” Campbell and Miss Jasmine were involved (I can’t say “together” because at one point, she left him for 4 years!), she left him 13 times. He always took her back. So why did he finally decide he’d had enough? He was tired of the beatings Miss Jasmine inflicted on him, among other things.

She used a machete to beat me all over my body. I ran into my van to get away from her. I managed to get into the van. Nicholas and Noel Jr (his sons) ran me down … and began beating me in my head. I drive away and left them.

She attacked me with a machete that gave me a cut to my right finger on my right hand. I ran out of the house. I went into the van and was reversing. (She) used a stone to hit out the windshield and she also broke my rear view mirror.

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