By who? A principal! According to Anita White, a teacher at New Braunfels Middle School in San Antonio, Texas, here’s what principal John Burks said to her and three other teachers:
He stated if the scores were not to his liking, he would kill us all and then kill himself. He was very emphatic, he was not laughing, he was not being funny.
The last thing he said (was) you just don’t know how ruthless I can be.
A fella in Palo Pinto County Texas, known as “Bayou Bob,” has been arrested for selling alcohol without a license. Not just any alcohol, mind you, but vodka with a rattlesnake in every bottle. It helps that Bob Popplewell is a rattlesnake rancher. When the police raided his ranch, they found 429 bottles of vodka with snakes in them. Bob’s defense? It’s an “ancient Asian elixir” that’s medicinal, so it’s not bootlegging.
How did he get busted? A complaint prompted an undercover buy. Who complained? Bayou Bob thinks it’s the “tree-huggers.” Why? Per the Star-Telegram:
Popplewell got crosswise with animal-rights groups last year when he shipped thousands of turtles to Asia, where turtle meat is considered a delicacy. He said the same “tree-hugging” activists are now pressuring the TABC to go after him.
Tyler J. Meverden of Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, went to the bank to make what he probably thought was a routine deposit. There was just one problem, as reported in the Door County Advocate:
The money Tyler J. Meverden, 21, tried to deposit at a Sturgeon Bay bank reeked of marijuana, according to a Sturgeon Bay Police Department investigation into the incident.
How strong was the smell?
The odor was so noticeable and so distinctive that a teller put the cash — $4,000 in bundled bills — into a plastic bag.
How right was the teller?
The contact between the bills and marijuana was so intense that when the Sturgeon Bay Police Department tested a bill, the chemicals reacted positively for marijuana, according to a department report.
The money tested positive for pot! Zoinks! And when the police searched his residence, they found about one pound of weed. And if that’s not bad enough, his residence is very close to an elementary school and a ball field, making him eligible for enhanced penalties. And if that’s not bad enough, this bust was actually a probation violation.
He was serving probation from convictions in 2005 and 2006 for possessing marijuana, possessing drug paraphernalia, bail jumping, obstructing police, battery and criminal damage to property.
Separate drawers, dude. Separate drawers.
Can you say that on TV in Australia? Hell yes. Chef Gordon Ramsay, of “Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares” in Australia (and “Hell’s Kitchen” in the U.S.) drops some serious f-bombs. Per The Daily Telegraph,
… celebrity chef Ramsay slipp[ed] in the f-word more than 80 times in one episode.
Shazam! Should the government get involved?
[Australian] Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi said the dropping of the “c-bomb” during a recent 9.30pm episode had gone too far.
Do not mess with a man with a bunch of knives, or the network that broadcasts his show.
Channel 9 hit back yesterday, saying 1.5 million viewers would know better than “one person in Parliament” about what they wanted to watch on TV.
So what does Senator Bernardi want? ” … a study of the effectiveness of the broadcasting code of conduct.” Good luck with that, considering chef Ramsay’s other program “The F-Word,” was reviewed by the Australian Office of Film and Literature Classification, and received just an “M” for moderate coarse language. For more, click here.
Kauai has got to be one of the coolest places on earth (especially the north shore). It’s definitely the coolest place I’ve ever visited. But even this totally chill tropical paradise has a few rules. For example, when you visit somebody in the hospital, you can’t bring the patient’s horse (in the elevator!) to cheer him up. Now it is Kauai, so the hospital does allow pets, like cats and dogs. And they are almost apologetic about this limitation.
“On Kauai, we have a very warm inviting atmosphere at Wilcox [Memorial Hospital],” [hospital spokeswoman] Yukimura said. “We just hope people understand this is not a place for a horse.”
Ma’am, I want to LIVE on your island! Yes, we understand. Oh – one more thing about the horse. After all the man went through to cheer up his ailing relative – he brought the wrong horse!
Austin Texas attorney Adam Reposa, in court representing a man charged with DWI, was not pleased with a particular objection made by the prosecution. As reported by keyetv.com,
Travis County Court at Law #6 Judge Jan Breland put Adam Reposa into the lockup after he made what is described in court documents as “…a simulated masturbatory gesture with his hand while making eye contact with the Court…”
Mr. Reposa posted the $1,000 bail and was released. He’s laying low now, right?
How can that be? I have no idea. As reported in the Edmonton Sun:
According to the agreed facts, the victim disclosed to her parents that Lister had sexually assaulted her on approximately six occasions between September 2005 and June 2006 when she was between 11 and 12 years old.
The girl said she’d been alone with Lister in the day-care van when the incidents took place and could only recall details of the last assault, which involved him telling her to lie down on the bench seat and then fondling her.
Joe Scola, of Gloucester, Massachusetts, heard the front door of his restaurant slam. As reported in the Gloucester Daily Times,
When he glanced outside, he saw his waitress returning from a break. She asked him, “Who’s that guy carrying the meat down the street?” Scola recounted yesterday.
The dude was loaded up with 20 pounds of Scola’s frozen meat. So Scola chased him and caught him.
“What are you doing with my food?” Scola said he asked the suspect. “I’m really hungry, man,” the suspect replied.
As Scola began taking the meat back, the dude “raised the 5-pound, frozen solid log of prosciutto above his head, presumably to hit Scola.” Bad move, meat man. What did Scola do?
“I slammed him with the ham in the face,” Scola said from his kitchen yesterday. The would-be thief, stunned and with a gouge on his face, dropped the meat and ran.
He may still be running. The police couldn’t find him. And don’t think that Scola is a coldhearted, greedy guy.
“I felt bad,” Scola said of the suspect’s injuries. “If he had come in and said he was hungry, I’d have given him a breakfast.”
Having once been homeless himself, he gives back to the community by donating leftover food to a local shelter. And it’s unlikely the thief was stealing the food to eat because it takes several days to thaw out. Here’s the Gloucester Daily Times article.
Actually, Dayton, Ohio resident Tony Henderson only thought the woman he propositioned was a prostitute. Actually, she was a police officer. So what happened that fateful night in April 2006? As reported by the Court of Appeals of Ohio, Dayton Police officer Dyan Briggs was working as a prostitution decoy. She testified that
Mr. Henderson asked me if I was working, to which I replied I was. Mr. Henderson then stated, come on, and motions for me to follow him back across the street … And I said what do you want. And he said I want to make love. And I said, okay, you want to have sex. What do I get. He said what do you get. I said, yeah, what do I get.
A fair question, but it raised a red flag for Mr. Henderson.
“He’s like man, you sound like a cop. [Walk away, dude. Walk away.] I was like I’m not a cop. And he’s like, well, I got some candy. [Doh!] And I said you have candy. And he said, yeah, I got candy. And I said what kind of candy do you have. He said bubble gum. I said what flavor. He said bubble gum. I said is it grape or what. And he said it’s strawberry. I said is it sugarless.
Mr. Henderson apparently grew tired of the chit-chat.
“And he’s like, fuck you. And I said, you offered me candy. And at that point Detective St. Clair drove up in his car and I believe he placed Mr. Henderson in a set of handcuffs.”
Snap! Busted for soliciting a prostitute by offering a stick of gum! Fast forward: Mr. Henderson is before a Judge, and arresting officer Raymond St. Clair testifies:
I asked Mr. Henderson why he asked her, being Officer Briggs, for sex, and Mr. Henderson replied because she’s a whore. And I asked why did you offer her bubble gum for sex, and Mr. Henderson replied because I have no money.”
Click here to find out the judge’s decision.
Not the good kind of “unforgettable,” though. A fellow named Stephen Chang was at the Hot Lap Dance Club, when, he alleges in his lawsuit, he got a lap dance that was – sorry – not so hot. Seems he caught a heel in the eye, causing “serious injuries.” And this was no cheapee, either. The cost? $40 per dance, plus a $50 one-time club membership fee, and a $10 admission fee.
It must have been a really, really major injury (or a serious lapse in judgment), as Mr. Chang is a married securities trader in his early 30s. This can’t be good for his career, or marriage. Here’s a little more.
