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Yes, this is the subject of a lawsuit in Arizona. Nathan Thinnes sold his house to Glenn Melton, who bought it for his daughter, Kelly Zegers. Thinnes did not disclose that his neighbor was a REAL problem. When Melton discovered this, he asked Thinnes to take the house back, which he refused to do. An added twist, both seller Thinnes and buyer Melton are in the real estate business! So why is the neighbor a problem? As reported in The Arizona Republic:

One day, Melton’s wife went to visit Zegers and witnessed the neighbor’s behavior firsthand. When she called police to ask if there were any complaints, the officer found so many that he asked if the address was an apartment complex.

Shazam! An apartment complex? Must be a big number.

Melton learned that the neighbor had called 911 hundreds of times, saying that people were breaking in, or that her sister was shooting poison at their elderly mother’s legs. Once, she met police at the door while holding a shotgun.

You might wonder “Was this still going on at the time of the sale?”

And just days before closing the house sale, the former owner called the police after he and his dog were pelted with potatoes the neighbor was throwing at unseen intruders in the oleander bushes between the two yards.

[After the shotgun encounter] the neighbor was handcuffed and taken away in a squad car and stayed away until after Zegers moved in.

Oops. How are things going now?

“She screams and yells at people that are passing by,” Melton said. “When my daughter’s in the backyard, the neighbor’s yelling at her and making verbal threats.”

The case is pending in the Maricopa County Superior Court.

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Remember when a bunch of people at UCLA Medical Center snuck a peak at Brittany Spears’ electronic medical records? No? I didn’t either. Well they did. As reported by California Healthline:

The Department of Public Health said 53 employees, including 14 doctors, at UCLA Medical Center breached Spears’ records on two occasions.

They were disciplined or fired, right?

None of the physicians quit or were fired.

What what what? None of the physicians? Then the nonphysicians must have skated by too, right? Nope.

18 [nonphysician] employees resigned, retired or were dismissed after the violations were discovered, according to UCLA data.

I’m guessing this is why:

In the past, UCLA has said physicians are overseen by a group of their peers, while other employees report to the human resources department.

Lovely. Here’s the source.

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chewing%20tobacco%20tin%20cool%20old%20big%20large.jpg “Down on the floor!” – or something like that – said the knife-wielding, would-be robber of the Cigarette Outlet in Des Moines, Iowa. Although employee #1 complied, #2 (Ruth Wright) didn’t, and grabbed a couple cans of chewing tobacco. Per the Des Moines Register:

Wright threw two cans of chewing tobacco at the man, one of which bounced off his face. A customer tackled the robber, but the robber broke off and ran out the door. Wright then called the store’s manager, who contacted police.

Ouchee. The almost robber? Old Mr. Wrong, “still wearing his black mask and a jacket, fled west on foot.”

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judge%20funny%20cartoon%20scales%20justice.gif Zoinks. Judge Kerry Evans was before the Ontario Judicial Council in 2004. The charges included:

patting the groins and buttocks of co-workers;

French-kissing co-workers;

force-feeding Jujubes to his co-workers; and

engaging in oral sex with a court worker in his office washroom.

In his defense to the “oral sex in the washroom” charge, Judge Evans submitted photographs of his shaved genital area, taken by his brother. Why, you might wonder? Because if the incident really happened, surely his accuser would have mentioned the unusual appearance of his groin area. Brilliant! The old “shaved balls” defense. (Actually, for a variety of reasons, probably not the photographs (!), he prevailed as to that allegation.)

Alas, Judge Evans resigned from the bench in 2004 before he was sanctioned for misconduct. He recently applied for reinstatement to the bar, and got it! He may return to the legal profession after spending 2 years working for another lawyer, which he is now doing. To read more about this, click here.

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Have you ever been hit by a sausage? No? Then maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to judge authorities in Manchester, England who are prosecuting a 12-year-old boy for throwing a cocktail sausage at a neighbor. And it hit him on the shoulder! And this crazy judge said he couldn’t believe such a case had been brought before him! What the hell is wrong with those English judges? Clearly this boy must be stopped. To read more (though not much more on this story) click here.

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Per a report in Reuters India:

Singapore bans sex between men and any man found to have committed an act of “gross indecency” with another man could be jailed for up to two years. There is no legislation on sex between women.

Okay, so this authoritarian country would allow a commercial showing women kissing? No way. A cable operator was fined for

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Hey, I’m all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt, if it’s a close call, and there’s no history. You make the call on this one. Per the Palm Beach Post:

The Judicial Qualifications Commission filed formal charges against [Palm Beach County Circuit Court Judge Howard] Berman in December 2000. Three women – two probation officers and a former public defender – accused him of groping, inquiring about their underwear and asking for sex. He threatened to “bury” one if she told. Three additional women stepped forward with similar stories.

Laura Johnson, now a county court judge, reported that when she and Berman were prosecutors, he invited her to his home to help with some cases. Johnson told investigators Berman disappeared into his bedroom, then returned carrying cocktails – and wearing only a maid’s apron.

Wow. So what did Judge Berman do? He stepped down three days before the judicial commission hearing.

Fast forward a few years. In 2005, Berman was hired as an assistant state attorney, where he was apparently doing okay, until recently. According to recently released personnel records,

Berman … was suspended without pay for 10 days after asking a secretary, “Wanna be naughty?”

Mr. Berman’s defense?

In his written response to the allegations, he said he was merely admiring the woman’s engagement ring and said, “It’s not too gaudy.”

So was it “gaudy” or “naughty?” Not a tough call. So on top of the 10-day suspension,

Berman was ordered to avoid contact with the woman, who was not identified. He was further warned that if any similar complaints were lodged, he would be fired, according to the disciplinary report signed by Chief Assistant State Attorney Paul Zacks.

Here’s hoping the maid’s apron doesn’t make another surprise appearance.

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Okay, so after discovering the glitch (the man’s account was only debited 1/1,000th of the amount withdrawn!), he made an additional 171 withdrawals, to the tune of about $25,000. And yes, it was in China, where he could have been sentenced to death (for real). But really, isn’t a life sentence just a little bit harsh? Yes, said the Guangdong Provincial High People’s Court. After a retrial, Xu Ting was sentenced to 5 years. Here’s what his father had to say:

He is innocent He just made a silly mistake. So he should be set free.

Dude – 171 “silly mistakes?” After which your son was on the run for a year before being caught? Xu said he won’t appeal. To read more (just a bit), click here.

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People always ask how I find the stories for Legal Juice. I found this one on the back page of the “A” section of yesterday’s Washington Post. I was skimming a full-page ad for a new allergy drug called “Xyzal.” Ignore, if you can, the idiotic name “Xyzal.” In the not-so-fine print, I read the following:

Do not take Xyzal if you are allergic to Xyzal …

I had to read it again, and again, because it was SO STUPID. I’m trying to think of an equally stupid analogy, but I can’t!

But there’s more. The “don’t operate heavy machinery while taking this drug” warning is very common. But what about driving your car?

“Patients taking Xyzal should avoid operating machinery or driving a motor vehicle.”

You can’t take this allergy drug and safely drive a car? Doesn’t this eliminate MOST PEOPLE IN THE DEVELOPED WORLD? And just to be sure it wasn’t a misprint, I checked the company’s website, and found the exact same warning! Brilliant!

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asshole%20a-bomb%20ass%20hole.jpg I gotta say, I really like the way Springdale District Court Judge Stanley Ludwig handled this one. Here’s what happened, as reported in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette:

The alleged victim had accused his wife of beating him, Ludwig said. Ludwig said he found the woman innocent, believing the man’s injuries to be self-inflicted.

“You’re a controlling asshole who went to Honduras to find a submissive Hispanic woman to marry,” Ludwig recalled telling the man. “I guess I can call him a liar, but not an asshole.”

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