Squeezed on:

By

happy_meal_logo.gifHere’s what William P. Smith, Esq. said to the Judge in a Florida Bankruptcy proceeding:

Mr. Smith: I suggest to you with respect, Your Honor, that you’re a few French fries short of a Happy Meal in terms of what’s likely to take place.

Billy, Billy, Billy. You didn’t just say that to a Judge? In a court where you were admitted solely for the purpose of that particular case? He did. The “Order to Show Cause Why William P. Smith, Esq. Should Not Be Suspended from Practice Before This Court Including Revocation of His Current Pro Hac Vice Status” was issued in In re South Beach Community Hospital, LLC, Case No. 06-10634-BKC-LMI. Whew. I’m out of breath.

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

paper%20wad%20ball%20into%20trash%20can%20throwing%20shooting.jpg Remember the post the other day about the doctor who got a one week suspension for having a sexual relationship with a patient? Well, Dr. Mark Blaylock got a one month suspension for … putting a picture of a government official in the trash! For real. Dr. Blaylock is the chief medical officer at the Manguzi Hospital in South Africa. It would appear that health MEC [Member of the Executive Council] Peggy Nkonyeni took great offense at this most heinous crime. So who will really suffer as a result of Dr. Blaylock’s suspension? Per allAfrica.com:

Ironically, Blaylock will make more money working as a locum doctor in the private sector during this month’s suspension than he does as a senior doctor at the rural hospital.

A hospital source who asked not to be named said that, ultimately patients would suffer most as the hospital was short-staffed and Blaylock’s skilled would be greatly missed.

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

Doctor%20Cartoon%20bad%20doctor%20mean%20evil.gifYou are psychologist Andrew Jacobs, and you need a psychiatrist to treat your wife for depression. Not surprisingly, you refer her to the same Harvard-trained psychiatrist you’ve been referring people to for 10 years. Surprisingly, this man, Kansas Dr. Douglas Greenens, tells your wife that she is in an unhealthy marriage. He then has a sexual relationship with your wife while she is still his patient! You find out, so he ends the doctor-patient relationship, but soon thereafter, resumes the intimate relationship. Your wife then divorces you and marries … Dr. Greenens.

What punishment do you think the Kansas Board of Healing Arts handed down for this major violation of professional ethics? Before I tell you, let me also share with you some additional information that the Board had in its possession, as reported by The Topeka Capital-Journal:

Investigators with the Kansas board also have benefit of the Missouri healing arts board’s confidential 300-page report on Geenens’ out-of-bounds association with women. Geenens was publicly reprimanded by Missouri regulators and, to escape broader discipline, agreed in October to “retire” his license in that state.

Snap! 300 pages? On top of this incident? The punishment: a one-week suspension of his license! UFB! (Also, his practice will be supervised for 2 years, and he has to attend a course.(La di da.) Maybe he’s emerged from all of this a changed man?

Jacobs said Geenens bragged that a member of the healing arts board secretly promised him the board wouldn’t hand down a severe punishment. Meanwhile, Geenens filed an ethics complaint against Jacobs in Missouri, but the case was dismissed a year later.

Was that it for Greenens? He (or more likely, his insurer) took a relatively small hit:

Jacobs filed a civil lawsuit, later settled for $100,000, alleging Geenens prescribed psychiatric drugs to cause his wife to accept the doctor’s advances.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Squeezed on:

By

scales%20justice%20felons%20vote%20voting%20allowed%20convicted.jpg They can run for president. Of the United States. No shit. All you have to do is pay a $1,000 fee and you’re on the ballot. That’s just what Keith Russell Judd, a felon who is locked up in federal prison until 2013, did.

Squeezed on:

By

plane%20airplane.gif
So this woman is on a Delta flight that lands at Logan International Airport in Boston. As she would make sure everyone knows, she is FAMOUS! As reported in The Boston Globe:

The general manager of WHDH Channel 7 was arrested after an allegedly drunken, obscenity-laced tirade at Logan International Airport in which she threatened to call a news crew and put a state trooper “on TV and ruin [his] life,” according to a police report.

Randi Goldklank flailed her arms and screamed at State Police when they took her into custody after her Delta flight landed Sunday night, according to the report. She had to be helped off the plane by two crew members, according to the report, and struck a trooper in the chest, breaking the prescription glasses in his pocket.

Continue reading →
By
Posted in: Wacky
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

eyes%20in%20closet%20in%20dark%20room%20scary%20spooky.jpg.jpg

This is a strange one. See if you make the same call the jury did. Here’s the scene, as described in The Oregonian:

The petite 24-year-old Beaverton woman got out of the shower wrapped in a towel, stopped to watch a couple minutes of TV and then sat down on her bed.

While putting lotion on her legs, she realized a man was standing in her closet, staring at her with bright blue eyes. He was wearing a lacy negligee with fishnet stockings open at the crotch, a woman’s miniskirt, sheer white blouse and long, brown wig.

Then she screamed twice, ran to another room and called police. The man fled without saying a word …

The man in the closet was Eric Triton Kincaid, age 29. How did the police catch him? By tracing the DNA on the meth pipe he left in the woman’s closet. Mr. Kincaid was charged with first-degree burglary, attempted first-degree sexual abuse, and invasion of personal privacy. His defense?

He was high on methamphetamine, he said [to the jury], and went to the Beaverton apartment complex on March 3, 2007 because he was invited to have sex by a woman he barely knew. But when he saw the woman sitting on the bed half naked, he realized she was the wrong woman and that he was in the wrong apartment. Basically, he was as surprised as she was, he said.

Okay, how did he end up in that apartment?

Kincaid said the woman he was going to meet was staying with friends and gave him directions that neither of them were too sure about. He arrived at what he thought was the right apartment, and when he turned the doorknob, it opened.

Think the prosecutor is buying that explanation? Me either.

The prosecutor told jurors it was more likely that Kincaid tried every basement apartment door until he found one that was unlocked. Investigators couldn’t find the mysterious friend Kincaid knew only as “Kate.”

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, what do you think?

Continue reading →

By
Posted in: Oops
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

oops%20picture%20photo.jpg

Malcolm Williams came to the Houston County Courthouse to pay some fines and to report to his probation officer. When he emptied his pockets before going through the metal detector, as reported in the Dothan Eagle:

…out spilled two baggies of marijuana along with a wad of cash and a cell phone.

Doh! And you know what else he had on him? A pocket knife and rolling paper! What did the deputies do? They tased him, bro! But it didn’t work because of his clothing. Mr. Williams was otherwise subdued and taken into custody, where he is looking at not just probation violation, but a few new charges too.

Squeezed on:

By

big_fish.jpg If you missed it, check out yesterday’s entry regarding some strange “justice” in Eutawville, South Carolina. Here’s some more of that there strange justice. This is the side of the story of three fellas who were pulled over by the Eutawville police:

They had finished a day of fishing, and were driving through Eutawville, with a boat in tow. Big mistake – driving through Eutawville, that is.

The Eutawville police pulled them over, they were told, because of a broken taillight on the boat.

Continue reading →
By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

bra%2520fence-tm.jpg

How the hell was this done? Somebody just waltzed into Victoria’s Secret in Flagstaff, Arizona and stole 350 bras! Mind you, the store was open. And for some reason, the anti-theft tags did not trigger the alarm. The haul has a retail value of about $15,000.

By
Posted in: Best Of
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

By

straw%20bend%20bent.jpg So said Plaintiff’s attorney Rob Serafinowicz in a case now being tried in the Waterbury Superior Court in Connecticut. The case involves allegations by Neil Perrotti that, when he was 17 years-old, former Middlebury First Selectman Edward B. St. John sexually assaulted him. As reported in the Hartford Advocate:

[Serafinowicz asked] Judge Jane S. Scholl to force St. John to submit to a photograph of his penis, fully aroused.

Why would this be relevant?

Serafinowicz explained that the photograph was crucial to his case because Perrotti, in a statement he gave to State Police about the alleged incident, claimed that St. John’s penis bent to the left when aroused.

What arguments did Serafinowicz advance in support of this request?

“It would seem Mr. St. John would want to do this to set the record straight,” said Serafinowicz without a hint of sarcasm.

Serafinowicz also offered to drop the whole matter if St. John would just admit that his penis is bent when in a state of arousal. “Then this is moot.”

What do you think the judge decided?

Continue reading →