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cheerleader%20skirt%20short%20barbie%20mini.htm If you have eyes, you’ve no doubt noticed that skirts have gotten pretty short lately. Some schools, like Monroe High School in Ohio, are stemming the upward creep of the hemline by instituting dress codes. As reported by WLWT.com, skirts should be no shorter than 3 inches above the knee. This is bad news for the school’s cheerleaders. The school has determined that the cheerleading uniforms they issued violate their dress code! So the cheerleaders can’t wear their uniforms on Fridays – game days – a tradition that goes back to … a long time, okay.

Here’s my solution – make an exception! And why is it okay for the cheerleaders to dress “inappropriately” at school rallies and sporting events?

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By now probably everyone has heard of a few stupid homeowner’s association rules. But check this one out. Jim Greenwood lives in a suburb of Dallas, Texas called Frisco. More specifically, he lives in – hold your nose up, and speak nasally – Stonebriar Village. Now with his son just turning 16, old Mr. Greenwood wanted to get him a safe ride. So he dropped about $30,000 on a nicely appointed 2007 Ford F-150.

Now you’re thinking – the Stonebriar Village Homeowner’s Association does not allow trucks to be parked in driveways. You would be … wrong! They just don’t allow FORD trucks [to be parked overnight, that is, in a driveway]. If Mr. Greenwood had dropped the extra coin for a Lincoln Mark LT, that would not violate the rules. What’s the difference? According to Mr. Greenwood, not much.

“It happens to come off the same assembly line in Dearborn, Mich., as the Ford F-150.”

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career%20criminal%20Life%20of%20Crime%20spongebob.jpg A 26-year-old man in Northern Ireland has 104 convictions. His crimes include, per The Belfast Telegraph,

… a string of offences including burglary, theft, assault and other dishonesty type offences.

And, per the police, “every single time he was granted bail he broke the conditions.” After a recent arrest, he asked to be let out on bail, and … got it! He was released …

… on the condition that he resides at an agreed address, adheres to a strict curfew, does not enter Belfast in the evening, does not drink any alcohol and takes a breathalyser test any time police request it.

Of course, this time was different, right? Surely he learned his lesson.

When the Telegraph called at his address in Co Down on two occasions this week we were told he was not there — during the hours of a strict curfew.

An occupant at the house said she had not seen him and was unsure of his whereabouts.

Doh! You can read more (a lot) here.

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All doctors know that it is unethical, at a minimum, to have a sexual relationship with a patient. And that, at a minimum, there is an appearance of impropriety when a boss has a sexual relationship with a subordinate. Well, as reported by Radio New Zealand, a family doctor in New Zealand had a sexual relationship with a patient, who also worked for him. (I’d wager that he’s married too.) As you would expect, he’s facing disciplinary proceedings. Here’s the source.

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That’s what Heidi Dalibor, of Grafton, Wisconsin did. The result? After ignoring letters from the library and a court notice, per The News Graphic:

Still, the last thing she expected was a knock on her door by Grafton police.

“They showed me a warrant they had for my arrest,” said Dalibor, 20. “They said they had to cuff me and I said, Are you serious? “

And then, on a sunny summer morning, she did the perp walk through her Arapaho Avenue neighborhood, where most families knew her as the girl who used to baby-sit their kids.

Slight overreaction. Here’s the source, and an AP report.

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Things must not be going well if you get to a place where you need to return a box of condoms for a refund. And, when the clerk won’t give you a refund, you call 911, claiming that you were robbed. As reported in the North Jersey Record,

Kadien Jackson, 21, of Blauvelt, N.Y., told police he made the bogus report to help him get his money back. Instead, he was charged with making a false report — a crime that carries prison time upon conviction.

“So, what are you in for?”

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Okay, this not a new case, but it’s too wacky to omit on that basis. The waitresses at the Panama City Beach Hooters were told that whoever sold the most beer would get a new Toyota. As reported by the AP,

[Hooters waitress Jodee] Berry, 27, won a beer sales contest in last May at the Panama City Beach Hooters. She believed she had won a new Toyota car.

She was blindfolded and led to the restaurant parking lot, but when the blindfold was removed, she found she was the winner of a toy Yoda Star Wars doll.

Ha ha ha. So incredibly not funny. Ms. Berry sued and … won!

“She’s satisfied with it,” said [her] attorney, David Noll. He did say that Berry can now go to a local car dealership and “pick out whatever type of Toyota she wants.”

Berry 1, Hooters 0 (though they did get a lot of publicity from it – and it’s still making its way around the internet).

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He crashed his Hummer into their – um, his – house! At about 2:30 a.m.! As reported by delawareonline:

According to New Castle County police, the tenants, a 50-year-old man and his 53-year-old wife, awoke around 2:30 a.m. to a loud crash at their home on Lute Court in the Harmony Woods development in Ogletown.

They looked outside to see “headlights shining into the bedroom” and quickly went to check on their 6-year-old son sleeping in a separate bedroom. They then heard what sounded like a person attempting to kick in the front door.

As the woman was on the phone, calling 911, Ott allegedly shouted, “Tell the police it’s the landlord that tore up the building.”

He then fled the scene, according to police, leaving a footprint on the front door.

Officers investigating the incident later went to Ott’s home on Old Baltimore Pike and found his Hummer, damaged, with a pine branch lodged in the bumper.

Doh! What is the landlord, Mr. Ott looking at?

…charges of attempted burglary, harassment, leaving the scene of an accident, reckless driving, failure to report an accident and endangering the welfare of the three occupants of the home.

Whew. I’m out of breath. Here’s the source.

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Though it certainly wouldn’t be the case, I guess not many legislators are eager to appear to be in favor of sodomy, flag-burning, cohabitation, or unmarried couples having sex. That’s probably why, per the Virginian-Pilot:

The state code [still] declares it illegal for unmarried couples to have sex. Cohabitation, sodomy and flag-burning are still outlawed in the Old Dominion. And don’t even think about unloading or loading oysters from a boat on Sunday. Tobacco warehouses must keep the Sabbath holy, too, although legislators have recently acquired enlightenment about Sunday sales at state-owned liquor stores in large cities.

You can read more here.