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ouch%20sign.gif It takes some doing but, yes, you can. A 63-year-old Floridian named Mary Davis found this out the hard way. She was pissed off when the police, who came to her house in response to a domestic dispute, arrested her son. As reported by the Florida Times-Union:

… [Ms.] Davis, attempted to leave in her car, according Baker County Sheriff Joey Dobson. When Davis put the vehicle in reverse and attempted to leave, a deputy standing in the open driver’s door of the van had to jump out of the way, Dobson said. Davis instead backed into a riding lawnmower, fell from the vehicle and was run over. The van then rammed into a Sheriff’s Office vehicle.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Not to worry, though. Her injuries “weren’t life-threatening.”

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You might know the rest of the saying (“so shall ye reap”), and so might Pennsylvania dentist Thomas McFarland, Jr., but he paid it no heed. The “sewing” in this case was the dumping of about 300 used needles [and other medical waste] into the ocean, which washed up on the beach in Avalon, New Jersey – where McFarland owns a vacation home!

How did the authorities figure out it was McFarland? As reported in The Press of Atlantic City:

… using identifying codes on the medical debris, [investigators] zeroed in on a small number of dental practices where the debris could have originated… McFarland’s was one of them.

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Is f-bombing on TV okay in Australia? Hell yes. Chef Gordon Ramsay, of “Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares” in Australia (and “Hell’s Kitchen” in the U.S.) drops some serious f-bombs. Per The Daily Telegraph,

… celebrity chef Ramsay slipp[ed] in the f-word more than 80 times in one episode.

Shazam! Should the government get involved?

[Australian] Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi said the dropping of the “c-bomb” during a recent 9.30pm episode had gone too far.

Do not mess with a man with a bunch of knives, or the network that broadcasts his show.

Channel 9 hit back yesterday, saying 1.5 million viewers would know better than “one person in Parliament” about what they wanted to watch on TV.

So what does Senator Bernardi want? ” … a study of the effectiveness of the broadcasting code of conduct.” Good luck with that, considering chef Ramsay’s other program “The F-Word,” was reviewed by the Australian Office of Film and Literature Classification, and received just an “M” for moderate coarse language. For more, click here.

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strange%20but%20true.jpg If it sounds really crazy, it’s usually true. As reported by the Los Angeles Times:

A 28-year-old man pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor count of animal cruelty in a bizarre New Year’s Eve incident in which he leaped off the San Diego-Coronado Bridge with an Oceanside police dog biting his arm. The dog died in the fall.

Cory Nathaniel Byron also pleaded guilty Wednesday to felony counts of drunk driving and evading arrest. The incident began with Byron being chased for 45 miles by Oceanside police along Interstate 5. When he stopped on the bridge, a police dog named Stryker was sent to subdue him.

Byron, who has two previous drunk driving convictions, suffered a collapsed lung and other injuries. He faces four years in prison when sentenced Oct. 29 in Vista Superior Court.

Dang. Once again proving that truth is stranger than fiction …

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bad%20doctor%20pocket.jpg Despite having examined the patient several times in 2002 and 2003, the doctor failed to notice that his patient had a 32 pound cyst! What did he tell her? Per the Otago [New Zealand] Daily Times online, that …

…she was overweight and prescribed weight-loss pills.

Wrong. Very wrong.

The woman, a 44-year-old mother of three, was eventually was taken to Christchurch Hospital in severe pain where the cyst was removed. The woman told The Press yesterday the cyst was cancerous and she needed an operation to remove her womb, ovaries and fallopian tubes.

What happened to the doctor?

[He] was found guilty of professional misconduct by the Health Practitioners Disciplinary Tribunal in 2006. He was censured and fined $22,500 but his name was suppressed to protect his practice and family.

Wow. That’s it? I agree with the victim:

“I’ve lost my insides, but he’s still practising,” she said.

She felt ill that the doctor continued to treat patients who were unaware of the misconduct finding. The patient called for a radical change from the health system so the names of medical professionals found guilty of professional misconduct were made public.

Here’s the source.

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Before I tell you what Christopher Lucero told New Mexico State Police Officer Kurtis Ward, just remember one thing: Lucero was drunk! As reported in The Albuquerque Journal, Lucero said he was weaving because:

His passenger spilled his beer …

Doh! There’s more.

… next to Lucero, 31, was a half-emptied bottle of Corona in a cup holder, police said. And that wasn’t even the beer he spilled. That was the one he had popped open to replace the one that had spilled on the floorboard while he went across three lanes of traffic on the interstate …

What about the field sobriety tests? Lucero was too drunk to do them. And, this was his SIXTH DWI arrest. What is he still doing on the road?

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Although you usually get what you pay for, that does not apply in this case. As reported by radio station CJAD:

A 34-year-old St Constant woman has taken her doctor before the College of Physicians disciplinary committee for her more than $5 000 breast augmentation which only lasted four days.

They weren’t implants; Chantal Atkinson didn’t want those. Instead, Verdun doctor Denis Bisson suggested a fat injection.

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Our purse snatcher in Port St. Lucie, Florida, was a male cross-dresser, and apparently not a very good one. Why? He left his fake breast at the scene of the crime! And it was made with a condom filled with water, stuffed in a sock! The cops are dusting the condom for prints, and are doing DNA testing on 2 hairs they found on the sock. Here’s a description of our man, as reported by tcpalm.com:

The assailant wore a short jean skirt, tube top and white flip-flops, weighs 130 to 140 pounds and is of thin build. He sported shoulder-length hair with maroon hair attachments in a dreadlocks style.

(The Juice wanted to give props to the reader who submitted this, but the reader wished to remain anonymous.) Here’s the source, including a photo of the fake breast.

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Outrageous, right? But true. As reported by UPI:

Police in Australia have set what they describe as “very generous limits” for an upcoming auto race [The Bathurst 1000]

The limit?

… no more than a case of beer a day for adults.

Holy shiznit. You know Aussie’s like their beer if a case a day is a “limit.” For me, it would mean death by alcohol poisoning. And if you’re not a beer drinker:

Racing fans who do not like full-strength beer have other choices. They can bring in 36 cans of beer with alcohol content of 3.5 percent or less, a case of pre-mixed cocktails or up to 4 liters (about 8 quarts) of wine.

Zoinks. That is a lot of booze!

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How can a burp lead to an arrest? Here’s how, as reported by The Australian:

A 19-year-old man who allegedly burped in the face of administrative staff at a north Queensland police station has been charged with being a public nuisance.

Innisfail District Police Inspector David Tucker said the man from Tully was at the local police station on Monday when he allegedly burped twice in a female worker’s face.

“He was then asked to burp away from staff which resulted in him swearing, raising his voice and using obscene language,” Insp Tucker said.

“The public nuisance charge relates to his language and aggressive behaviour and not the burping.

“This type of behaviour will not be tolerated to staff at police stations.”

Insp Tucker said the man was due to face Tully Magistrates Court on September 18.

Brilliant!

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