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Really. With a saw. And then he offered her $5 not to call the police! As reported by The Treasure Coast Palm:

The altercation happened Wednesday morning in the 1700 block of Wyoming Avenue after James Patrick Fitzgerald and his 41-year-old mother argued as she tried to get him to take his medication. Following the argument, the boy bicycled to the Wyoming Avenue address, where he apparently started hitting a tree with a saw.

The mother followed him but he still wouldn’t take the medicine. Fitzgerald raised the saw and hit his mother, who had a minor laceration, on top of her head.

“When he saw the blood coming from her head he threw down the saw and started to plead with the victim to not call the police,” the [police] report states.

He reportedly offered a $5 bill to his mother if she didn’t notify authorities.

The charge? Aggrevated battery. Does this kid have any history? Funny you should ask …

The victim’s pregnant 19-year-old daughter said Fitzgerald has tried to cut her stomach with a fork, claiming he was going to give her a “C-section.”

Wow. That’s more disturbing than the saw incident. But there’s more …

She also said he tried to use hairspray and a cigarette lighter as a torch to set the family cat ablaze.

Yikes! And …

The 19-year-old daughter’s husband said he found Fitzgerald looking up bomb-making instructions on the Internet.

SFM.

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This is no way to treat your cobbler. As reported by The South Asian Post:

A Punjab police constable is suspended after he allegedly fired at a cobbler following an argument. The officer claims the weapon went off accidentally as he tried to control heavy traffic, but cobbler Nand Lal, who was shot in the leg and hospitalized says the officer disagreed with his political point of view and opened fire.

Must have been some really heavy traffic, since apparently a gun was required to control it …

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Such is not the case with Donald J. Jacobs, Jr. of North Platte, Nebraska. Per the North Platte Telegraph:

According to the police report, Jacobs was intoxicated and assaulted his girlfriend with the pot when he discovered she made macaroni for his dinner. The assault caused the food to be tossed throughout the residence, as he struck her with the pot, according to the report.

More importantly, the victim “…had a cut on the bridge of her nose and a bruise on her face. … it must have been a significant hit because the handle of the pot was broken.” Damn! Oh, and it was 3:30 a.m. when the police arrived, and not for the first time.

“He definitely has a history,” [police investigator Dale Matuszczak] said.

So what happened to Mr. Jacobs?

[He] was arrested and booked into the Lincoln County Jail on second-degree domestic assault, a Class 3A felony. The charges carry a maximum sentence of 5 years in prison and/or a $10,000 fine. Jacobs was arraigned Monday and held in custody on a $5,000 bail.

Wonder how he likes the food in jail?

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Mr. John Renshaw built a 2-story, 2-bedroom house inside a … barn! Totally inside a barn! Why? Because he knew he couldn’t get a permit to build it, and, per The Telegraph,

[Council officers] think he attempted to use a loophole in the law that states that properties built without planning permission are allowed to stand if they have been lived in and undetected for at least four years.

So you’re probably wondering how long he managed to keep the house hidden? Turns out, it doesn’t matter.

… the High Court recently ruled the four-year period only begins when any sheilding is removed, meaning that even if he had managed to hide the house and live in darkness for four years, he faced having to knock it down the moment it was unveiled.

Doh! Doh! Doh! Mr. Renshaw was ordered to demolish the house, or face a very stiff fine. He apparently complied. Click here to read a little more.

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A 1-year-old boy was waiting for a relative to pick him up at the police station in Schererville, Indiana because his mom was busted for drunk driving. So his dad drove to the station to get him, only he was drunk too, and was also busted for drunk driving. So his grandparents came to get him and … yup, they had been drinking too! But, per the AP, grandma, who had been driving, wasn’t legally drunk, “so officers escorted them home with the child.” On the drinking front anyway, hopefully the apple won’t be anywhere near the tree…

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nails_skull_xray.jpg You’d probably be better off having your palm read than having your x-rays or CT scans read by Oregon and Washington radiologist David Shoemaker. Both states have suspended Dr. Shoemaker’s license. Here are a few of the “Findings of Fact” by the Oregon Board of Medical Examiners:

“On May 18, 2001, Patient I underwent CT scans (with contrast) of the abdomen and pelvis. [Dr. Shoemaker] noted small cysts in the ovaries, and noted a normal uters. The patient did not have ovaries or a uterus.” [Emphasis mine. Can you blame me?]

He x-rayed the foot of a patient complaining of foot and toe pain. He noted a hammertoe deformity, but “failed to note the presence of a metallic foreign body in the toe area.” [!]

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Even if this is technically a crime (like you never speed!), what kind of person would report this? Very uncool. The guy wasn’t hurting anybody. As reported by The Republican-American:

A man from Stonington faces public indecency charges after state police said he was driving nude on Interstate 84 on Wednesday morning. Police arrested Seth Roberts, 30, of 1 Minor St., at about 10:50 a.m. Roberts also was charged with breach of peace.

I’m always looking for positives, so consider this: he wasn’t drunk! And apparently he wasn’t speeding either! I’ll take a safe, nude driver over a clothed, unsafe one every time.

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This is just outrageous. As reported by the Northwest Arkansas Times:

Fayetteville police responded to the Washington Regional Medical Center on May 24 to investigate suspected child abuse. According to the police report, the victim [a 4-year-old girl] had a 4-inch skull fracture with a pool of blood between her skin and skull [the evidence was unclear regarding how the child’s skull was injured.]

The child appeared unkempt and unwashed. Investigators noted bruises and scars all over the child’s body, scabs on the tips of the her fingers, and visible belt strap and belt buckle marks to her lower back and legs, the report stated.

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Actually, it would be “bugnapper.” As reported in The South Asian Post:

SILIGURI, India – A Czech national who was sentenced to three years imprisonment by a court for collecting rare insects from a national park in Darjeeling has fled India after jumping bail. Entomologist Emil Kuchera left India by crossing the country’s border with Nepal on Oct 21, the police said. Kuchera left behind his passport that was in the custody of Darjeeling Chief Judicial Magistrate. Kuchera had been arrested under the Wildlife Protection Act on June 22 near Singalila National Park, for collecting rare insects like beetles, butterflies and moths without permission.

I love bugs (fried cicadas, anyone?), but 3 years?! That’s a little harsh. (Please, PETA members, no more emails!) (Unlike this guy, I would never mistreat a living creature.)

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It was a bad idea, and it didn’t end well. Per the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:

Witnesses told township police that [Jay Matthew] Tokar [age 46] was flying his glider dangerously close to children playing soccer in the area.

They also told police Tokar was yelling at people on the golf course and trying to spit on them.

[Witness] Mark J. Gazi told police that Tokar flew the glider so close that at times Gazi could have touched Tokar with his golf club.

Police didn’t test Tokar at the scene but …

…a search warrant served Aug. 28 for Tokar’s medical records revealed his blood-alcohol level was 0.151 percent and he had taken benzodiazepines before the crash. A motorist is considered intoxicated in this state with a blood-alcohol level of 0.08 percent.

How did the ride end?

According to the criminal complaint, after Tokar’s plane struck the cable lines, one of the lines jumped off the pulley system and struck witness James Troutman, injuring him in the left leg.

Tokar’s injuries were much more serious, unlike the time in August 2003 when he …

… crashed his aircraft in the Cobblestone-St. Ives housing plan in Hempfield. It snagged a tree, spun out of control and dropped about 60 feet to the ground.

Tokar was not injured in that crash.

60 feet to the ground and no injuries! For this latest flight, Tokar faces charges of reckless endangerment, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. Here’s the source.