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For service of court papers. For real. As reported by the BBC:

Mark McCormack, a lawyer in Canberra, persuaded a court to allow him to use the unusual method after other attempts to reach them failed.

The couple’s home is being repossessed after they reportedly missed payments on a loan of over A$100,000 ($67,000; £44,000).

Mr McCormack says he resorted to Facebook to trace the couple after unsuccessful attempts to contact them at their home address and via email, and they failed to attend a court appearance on 3 October.

Will the legal documents being served be posted on the couple’s Facebook wall (of shame)? Nope.

In granting permission to use the social networking site, the judge stipulated that the papers be sent via a private email so that other people visiting the page could not read their contents.

Not that they would have been too titillating, since the legal case is a foreclosure. Click here for the source.

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A 19-year-old New Zealand man named Eptai Taiwhanga, as reported by 3 News …

…walked into Westport police station drinking alcohol and carrying cannabis resin.

Maybe he thought it was a pub?

Unsurprisingly, except to him perhaps, he was hit with breaching Westport’s liquor ban and possessing a Class B drug.

Judge Jane McMeeken said Taiwhanga was “incredibly stupid” and fined him $400.

“You had cannabis in your pocket and drew attention to yourself by drinking in a police station.”

Doh!

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What was so unusual about this ATM withdrawal in Beaumont, Texas? Well, it wasn’t that Mr. Leandro Sanchez made the withdrawal around 3 a.m. It was simply this – he took the entire ATM! From a bank! With a forklift! I guess he didn’t think it would set off an alarm. It did.

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judge%20Angry%20mad%20pissed%20off%20upset.gif Having been charged with OUI (operating under the influence), Jorge Pinto appeared for a Hearing before Judge James McGovern of Bristol County, Massachusetts. The problem? Pinto was drunk – in court! The Judge was tipped off to this, so he ordered a breathalyzer test. It showed that Mr. Pinto’s blood alcohol level was .08, over the limit. And how did Mr. Pinto get to court? He drove!

According to the report in the Taunton Daily Gazette, despite the fact that he knew Mr. Pinto drove to court, Judge McGovern let him go! And?

Minutes later, state police pulled Pinto’s car over and he was arrested for drunk driving after failing several field sobriety tests.

An assist to Assistant District Attorney Casey Smith “for pointing troopers in the direction of Pinto’s car after he left court.” But that’s not the end of it. There are allegations that Judge McGovern tried to sweep the whole thing under the rug.

Reports say [Assistant County Attorney] Smith told police that upon hearing the information, the judge told her, “Well I assume that [Pinto] will be brought back to this court today for arraignment… and I’m telling you right now I’m inclined to dismiss the entire thing.” …

According to reports, [Sgt. Thomas] Higginbotham remarked that the interference from the court was “completely out of line and likely amounted to judicial misconduct.”

Is the Judge in the soup?

[District Attorney spokesman Gregg] Miliote said any allegations of wrongdoing by a state judge are handled by the Massachusetts Commission on Judicial Conduct. The agency’s Executive Director Jill Pearson would not say if there is a complaint regarding McGovern.

Click here for the source.

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Let’s just say you’re divorced, and your ex-wife calls to tell you one of your kids is being held for ransom. I think most folks would pay up. Just suppose, though, that your ex-wife called to say that one of your children was again taken hostage, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again! For real. This woman told her ex-husband that one of their kids (sometimes their son, sometimes their daughter) had been kidnapped SEVEN TIMES over a five-year period! And you know how many times he paid? Six! For a total of £530,000 ($808,000 US!). As reported by The Telegraph:

In the summer of 2001, she told her estranged husband, named only as Pedro GM, who was living in a different town, that strangers had entered her home and taken her daughter Sara, demanding payment of 30,000 euros (£23,000) for her safe return.

A year later, she claimed that the girl had been taken again, this time to settle a drug debt, and asked her husband to cough up 48,000 euros (£38,000) for her release.

In 2003 she again approached her husband, this time claiming that their son Emilio had been snatched after she failed to pay 36,000 euros (£28,000) she owed to a clothing wholesaler. He once again paid the money and the child was “returned” unharmed.

In 2004, she faked another kidnapping, again of her teenage son Emilio, claiming that drug dealers were demanding 54,000 euros (£43,000) for a package of cocaine that the boy had lost. Once again, the father paid the ransom demand to his wife to pass on.

In December 2005 and January 2006 she again claimed that their son had got himself in trouble and was being held to ransom, but this time she said he had been taken by members of a gypsy family who wanted blood money totalling 180,000 euros (£142,000) because he had taken the virginity of a 13-year old relative.

Finally, in Sept 2006 she and her friends concocted a story claiming that Emilio had again been abducted from outside their home in the Madrid suburb of Fuenlabrada. On this occasion, the boy himself called his father, claiming his attackers were torturing him and were threatening to kill him unless a ransom of 252,000 euros (£200,000) was paid.

How were they caught?

Minutes later [after the boy called his father] he was spotted in the street having a drink with friends, said the private detective hired by Pedro G M to investigate the case.

I think it’s only appropriate to end this post with some quotes about greed.

“To be perfectly honest, what I’m really thinking about are dollar signs.” Tonya Harding

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed” Gandhi

“I’m a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Greed is a fat demon with a small mouth and whatever you feed it is never enough.” Janwillem van de Wetering

“How did I get involved in a terrible film like Best Defense? The door opened and four men came in carrying a check.” Eddie Murphy (Note that, although it might seem criminal, Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress is a civil claim.)

And my favorite:

“Money doesn’t talk, it swears.” Bob Dylan

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Minnesota man Scott Wagar had enough. His house had been getting hit for 7 years. Per wcco.com:

Wagar never used to have a problem with homecoming traditions, until he became one. Years ago he caught a group of Willmar High School students trying to cover his house in toilet paper and he made them clean it up. Since then, the pranksters have been coming back for more.

“They come with ketchup, and peanut butter, and eggs and toilet paper,” said Wagar.

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Seriously, what do you expect when you burglarize a haunted house? That the spirits are just going to let you waltz out the door with their otherworldly possessions? I don’t think so. As reported by the AP, out of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia:

A news report says a burglar who broke into a house claims he was held captive by a “supernatural figure” for three days without food and water. Police official Abdul Marlik Hakim Johar told The Star newspaper the house’s owners found the 36-year-old man fatigued and dehydrated when they returned from vacation Thursday. He says they called an ambulance to take him to a hospital. The man told police that every time he tried to escape, a “supernatural figure” shoved him to the ground. Abdul Marlik could not immediately be reached and other police officials declined to comment.

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Regular readers know one of the Juice’s least favorite phrases is “expletive deleted.” So, straight from the indictment (with very brief intro’s) are the f-bombs uttered by Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (and his wife!).

On squeezing some money from his authority to appoint President-Elect Obama’s replacement in the Senate…

ROD BLAGOJEVICH later stated, “I’m going to keep this Senate option for me a real possibility, you know, and therefore I can drive a hard bargain. You hear what I’m saying. And if I don’t get what I want and I’m not satisfied with it, then I’ll just take the Senate seat myself.” Later, ROD BLAGOJEVICH stated that the Senate seat “is a fucking valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing.”

In regards to the Senate seat, ROD BLAGOJEVICH stated “I’ve got this thing and it’s fucking golden, and, uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for fuckin’ nothing. I’m not gonna do it. And, and I can always use it. I can parachute me there.”

Showing his love and respect for President-Elect Obama …

ROD BLAGOJEVICH said that the consultants … are telling him that he has to “suck it up” for two years and do nothing and give this “motherfucker [the President-elect] his senator. Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him.” ROD BLAGOJEVICH states that he will put “[Senate Candidate 4]” in the Senate “before I just give fucking [Senate Candidate 1] a fucking Senate seat and I don’t get anything.”

ROD BLAGOJEVICH raised the issue of whether the President-elect could help get ROD BLAGOJEVICH’s wife on “paid corporate boards right now.” Advisor A responded that he “think[s] they could” and that a “President elect . . . can do almost anything he sets his mind to.” ROD BLAGOJEVICH states that he will appoint “[Senate Candidate 1] . . . but if they feel like they can do this and not fucking give me anything . . . then I’ll fucking go [Senate Candidate 5].”

Later in the conversation, ROD BLAGOJEVICH said he knows that the President-elect wants Senate Candidate 1 for the Senate seat but “they’re not willing to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them.”

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Sure, it’s not a frontal attack on Christmas. Nevertheless, municipalities are chipping away at old St. Nick. As reported by The Telegraph:

[crossing guard] Kevin Simpson has decorated his lollipop [crossing sign] each year for Christmas to spread some festive cheer among the children arriving at Berrywood Primary School in Hedge End, Southampton. But this year, after he placed extra tinsel around the edge of the circular sign, an anonymous member of the public complained to his employers, Hampshire County Council. Despite protests from parents council officers banned father-of-two Mr Simpson from using the tinsel.

Other than being a spineless, anonymous weasel, what kind of person would complain about tinsel? Probably the same kind of folks who were behind these measures:

Westminster council banned Debenhams from playing Christmas carols at its store in Oxford Street, west London, over fears of “noise pollution”.

Carol-singing Brownies and Guides were banned from the Marlowes shopping centre in Hemel Hempstead, Herts because of fears the girls would obstruct fire escape routes.

Last month, Wimborne council in Dorset threatened to ban the town’s 400-year-old Christmas custom of firing muskets into the sky because of fears the noise would scare children. The custom dating back to the 17th century however was allowed to take place however following publicy outcry.

Plans for Christmas trees in the streets of Llandovery, Carmarthenshire, were also cancelled, after volunteers were told they risked breaking health and safety rules if they climbed ladders to put them up.

What’s next, banning Festivus celebrations? Here’s the source.