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Like many shoppers before him, Mr. Walter Tessier walked into a grocery store (in Amsterdam, New York) and bought a lobster. He later returned to the store claiming that the lobster was bad, and exchanged it for a bag of king crab legs. So whatsamatta? Just this: the lobster shell was empty! As reported by The Times Union:

When confronted, the man with a passion for seafood ran from the store with the bag of crab legs in hand, they said.

Deputies said they caught up with him at his home only to discover that he had already eaten the crab legs.

Walter Tessier, giving new meaning to the phrase “eat and run” … (We actually had a case involving a woman who admitted to eating a crab she had just purchased – while she was driving! Not surprisingly, she rear-ended our client.)

Tessier was charged with petit larceny and given an appearance ticket to return to court at a later date.

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Posted in: Odd Cases
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The headline from the story by WXYZ in Detroit sums it up nicely: “Teacher By Day, Inmate By Night.” For 30 days anyway, when Mr. Donald Colpaert is not teaching social studies to middle schoolers in Macomb County, he’s in jail. Here’s an exchange between WXYZ reporter Heather Catallo and Mr. Colpaert:

“I’m wondering why you’re still teaching if you’re in jail? I’m not in jail. I’m bringing lunch for my friends. No, you’re going back to your work release position. How can you be a role model for your students? Are you familiar with what’s going on at all with the case? Why don’t you tell us? I don’t really feel like explaining it. The court’s done a pretty good job of that.”

Alrighty then.

According to court records, the secretary says Colpaert started harassing her husband with phone calls and text messages after she decided to patch up her marriage.

During a hearing to obtain personal protection orders against Colpaert – the secretary and her husband submitted several of Colpaert’s email messages to Macomb County Judge Ed Servitto.

In one from October – Colpaert writes to another school co-worker about what he was allegedly planning to do at a party that the secretary was going to attend with her husband. One message states: “me and some of my friends will be waiting outside.” and “the s**t is definitely gonna hit the fan.” In another message Colpaert allegedly told the party hostess “I cant [sic] and WILL NOT promise that nothing will go down at your house.”

As for the text messages that Colpaert allegedly sent to the secretary’s husband – they’re so obscene we can not describe them on television.

Damn it! The Juice is not fond of censorship. Anyway, here’s how Mr. Colpaert ended up in jail:

When the judge granted the PPOs for the school secretary and her husband, according to the hearing transcript, he had some strong words for the teacher. Judge Servitto said “I can’t believe you’re an educator.” He also told Colpaert: “I don’t know that you should be a teacher. I don’t know. It just amazes me”

What’s truly amazing is that Donald Colpaert violated the PPO within minutes of leaving Servitto’s courtroom.

According to police reports, in the court hallway– Colpaert told the secretary’s husband, “we could have settled this man to man, it’s on now, it’s on.”

After those comments – a judge sent Colpaert to jail for 30 days for violating the PPO.

So it’s definitely “on,” with the “it” being the pokey, not an asskicking. How does tenure fit into the equation?

The Van Dyke Public School District did suspend Donald Colpaert for 3 days without pay for violating a directive they had given him to stop contacting the secretary. An attorney for the district tells Action News at this point, that’s the highest level of punishment that can be leveled against a tenured teacher.

Time to take a long, hard look at those tenure provisions …

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A mom in Lincoln, Nebraska went a bit too far. She drove her 12-year-old and 6 other kids (3 who are 12,and 3 who are 13) to a 7th grade English teacher’s house, which they proceeded to TRASH as follows:

Using toilet paper, syrup, adhesive tape, dishwashing soap and eggs, they vandalized her house, yard, trees and driveway.

Wow. Must have stopped at the grocery store on the way. tp.jpgFor her troubles, mom was cited for suspicion of contributing to the delinquency of minors.

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That’s what Natasha Riley, not pleased with the way things were going for her client, said to Judge Mangano in the Brooklyn Family Court during a custody proceeding. But Judge Mangano would have the last laugh. Because most lawyers aren’t dumb enough to address a judge that way [even if it is bullshit!], Judge Mangano became suspicious. Turns out Ms. Riley, who had at least 8 clients, and 4 court appearances, is not a lawyer! Her punishment? Five years probation and $3,267 in restitution. You can read more here.

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How come nothing this exciting ever happened in my school? If they didn’t already know about prostitutes, students at the Western Intermediate School in Bellefontaine, Ohio now do, courtesy of fourth grade teacher Amber Carter. And yes, “Amber” is her real name. As reported by The Columbus Dispatch:

The principal tried yesterday to tell a class of fourth-graders why their teacher was arrested just after lunch Tuesday and hauled to jail.

She couldn’t tell them that Amber Carter, a 13-year employee of the Bellefontaine City School District, had been arrested in an apparent sex sting at the local Super 8 Motel just after noon Tuesday.

Click here for the source, and a picture of Ms. Carter.

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This guy must have had some seriously sore feet. As reported by the South Florida Sun Sentinel:

The allure of foot relief may have been too much for a thief who held off a Wal-Mart guard with a pen knife as he fled with a stolen tube of foot cream, the Broward Sheriff’s Office said Wednesday.

The man entered the store at 10:10 a.m., grabbed a $9 tube of foot cream and hid it on his person, a sheriff’s report said.

As he left the store, a guard tried to stop him. The thief brandished a pen knife and threatened to cut the guard if he didn’t keep away.

The thief got into a powder blue, mid-1980s Chevrolet Monte Carlo with another man at the wheel and fled.

At least he got the relief he sought. (The men are still at large.) Are times really that tough, that someone has to steal a $9 item to treat a medical condition?

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Connecticut Judge E. Curtissa Cofield said she had one beer and one mixed drink three hours before her blood alcohol level came in at .17, more than twice the legal limit. What do you think she would say if someone made the same claim in her courtroom?

As reported in The Courant, here’s how Judge Cofield was caught:

On Oct. 9 about 10:45 p.m., Cofield sideswiped a parked state police car, occupied by a trooper, with her BMW in a construction zone …

Instead of being contrite, here are a few things she had to say, as recorded by the police video:

Cofield asked [state police Sgt. Dwight] Washington: “Do you have a reading on my urine test, Negro trooper?”

She refused to sign a form and said: “I’m not signing anything, because when it comes down to the bottom line, who’s smarter, me or you? We’ll figure it out, won’t we?”

“I’m sick of being treated like a freaking Negro from the ‘hood,” she said. Asked if she had an illness and needed medication, Cofield said, “Negro-itis” and “I need to take anti-Negro, ummm …”

And this one, which was not in the video, but in the police report:

“Judge Cofield stated that she was the most intelligent person in the room and threatened our careers. … While speaking on her cellphone, Judge Cofield referred to Sgt. Washington as the ‘Head n—– in charge.'”

So what’s next for Judge Cofield, Connecticut’s first black female judge? The DUI and another charge will be dismissed if she successfully completes an alcohol education program. She’s also awaiting word from the Judicial Review Council, which held a hearing on January 26 on misconduct charges against her. Here’s the source.

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Here’s what Andrew Allen admitted stealing from a home in Blackpool, England, per the Blackpool Gazette:

“He stole a dustpan and brush, a cat basket, a trowel and lawn feeder, a basket with tools and a gardening glove.”

Street value – £51 ($75 US)! Dude, why? In a nutshell: Methadone, sleeping pills, and alcohol.

How do you think this conversation will go? “So, what are you in for?” Uh, er, um …

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doctor%20mask%20scary%20creepy%20strange%20weird.gif I will forever think of this case when I hear anything about the European Court of Human Rights. As reported by The Argus:

[Hypnotherapist Imad Al-Khawaja] was convicted in 2004 of indecently assaulting two women, then aged 20 and 47, while they were hypnotised.

Al-Khawaja was handed consecutive 12-month and 15-month jail sentences after the jury returned unanimous guilty verdicts.

Said the Judge:

“This was an appalling breach of trust. You abused two vulnerable woman in your charge and under your control. You have not expressed any remorse for the distress you caused.”

About that remorse …

When a disciplinary panel met in December to decide if he should be banned from medicine, Al-Khawaja sent them a letter quoting television comedian Catherine Tate: “Look at my face, am I bothered?”

Do you have a pulse? His 2 appeals within the United Kingdom were unsuccessful. But wait! What about the European Court of Human Rights? While they didn’t overturn his convictions, they awarded him 6,000 euros (about $8,000 US) plus attorney’s fees. And why would they do that?

Because he “inevitably suffered a degree of distress and anxiety as a result” of not being able to cross examine one of his accusers, whose written statement was read to the jury, but was not able to testify in person because she committed suicide before the trial! I still can’t believe any court would give this man – who inflicted so much suffering – money for his “distress and anxiety.” Here’s the source.

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doctor%20bad%20operating%20suspended.gif Maybe I’ve seen too many “Nip/Tuck” commercials recently, but wouldn’t you think that the plastic surgeon who specialized in breast enhancement would be the one who left his spouse and was asking for a divorce? Such was not the case with former New Hampshire doctor James Kartell. As reported by The Eagle-Tribune:

Vajda, a North Andover resident, was dating Kartell’s estranged wife, Dr. Susan Kamm. She had moved in with Vajda and asked Kartell for a divorce.

Kartell had walked into Holy Family Hospital in Methuen on Feb. 23, 1999, with a loaded .38-caliber revolver and extra ammunition. Vajda was visiting Kamm, who was hospitalized with pneumonia.

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