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broken heart
Why do ex-lovers so often go after their replacements?  How does the ex escape blame? As reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina)

Police are looking for a woman accused of breaking out a window in a car owned by her ex-boyfriend’s lover, according to a report.

A Laquinta Drive woman notified deputies about 5:20 a.m. Monday that she had had some unwanted visitors earlier. She said a vehicle drove into her yard and three females got out. She said one of the women began striking her car window with a tire jack.

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jail cell bars prison
Yes, this young lady is charged with a felony over $3. As reported by northcountrynow.com (Potsdam, NY):

A Massena teen is facing a felony after allegedly breaking into her employer’s office and stealing $3 in quarters.

Krystal L. Arquette, 17, of 30 George St. is charged with third-degree burglary.

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taxi sign
You’d have to be drunk or stoned to take a cab to a bank robbery and to have it wait for you while you did the deed, right? Right! This gent was drunk!  As reported by The Tallahassee Democrat:

Stanley Geddie arrived by taxicab and was drunk during an attempted heist of a Tallahassee bank Wednesday afternoon, police say.

The 46-year-old was arrested on charges of robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer after demanding $100,000 from a bank manager at the Capital City Bank on Capital Circle Northwest.

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gun
Seriously, it’s a dispute over one spot in a line, and you’re going to brandish a gun? You’re a cop! As reported at fusion.net:

A 911 recording has captured a Tennessee sergeant losing it over a RedBox movie rental.

In the call, obtained by the Knoxville News Sentinel, Sgt. Paul Story, an off-duty Knox County Sheriff’s Office employee, can be heard yelling and threatening a man, Timothy Nelson, after Nelson claimed the sergeant was cutting him in line. According to the KCSO’s own report, the newspaper said, Story was brandishing his gun during the heated exchange.

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beers beer
Dishonesty is just so, so tiresome. Just tell the truth. Make The Juice happy. But no, this gent, like just about everyone else who gets busted for an alcohol-related offense, only had “a couple of beers.” He’s either a cheap drunk or a bald-faced liar. What do you think? Per The Moultrie News police blotter:

Happy hour ended early for one man who was found about 6 p.m., passed out behind a department store, a police report said. According to the report, police arrived and found that the man reeked of alcohol and had “soiled his pants.” He said he only had a couple of beers at the bar around the corner and was trying to walk to his house in a nearby neighborhood which was actually about 8 miles away.

Emergency personnel told police the man had fallen in the bushes and was disoriented and confused, according to the report. They said he was not making any sense. He was arrested for public drunkenness and his father was called to come pick up his belongings.

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law books lawyer treatise legal research
Law school is really expensive, and it takes three years. So how can you avoid it, and still be a lawyer? Well, just say you are a lawyer. That’s what this woman did, apparently quite well, as reported by newser.com:

A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade and made partner at her small firm before her fraud was discovered, according to charges announced yesterday. Kimberly Kitchen was charged Thursday with forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. State prosecutors contend Kitchen fooled BMZ Law by forging a law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school, and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The firm is based in Huntingdon, about 110 miles east of Pittsburgh. Kitchen, of nearby James Creek, handled estate planning for more than 30 clients “despite never having attended law school,” the attorney general’s office says.

She even served as president of her county bar, says her lawyer, who adds that “she’s an incredibly competent person, and she worked very diligently and was devoted to the people she served. There are things about the charges we don’t agree with.” But the Huntington County Bar Association’s current president called the charges insufficient given “the level of betrayal” over 10 years. Local lawyers were the first to raise questions about Kitchen’s credentials; in December, when the Huntingdon Daily News first reported on the case, the firm vowed to review her work. Kitchen, 45, was previously employed at Juniata College, where she worked in fundraising but “started holding herself out to be a lawyer,” says a senior deputy attorney. She’s married to a state conservation ranger and is no longer working, her lawyer says.

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brick wall foundation
Was it “Wait, I thought we tested the soil?” or “Soil, shmoil. It looks fine to me. Build it!” It’s unclear what happened because the case of the sliding house has not yet gone to trial … but it’s headed there now. As reported by NJ Advance Media for NJ.com:

A $7.4 million judgment for the owner of a Florham Park house that is gradually sliding down a hill was thrown out by an appellate court last month. But another appeal may still bring it to the New Jersey Supreme Court.

The initial $7.4 million award was made to homeowner Humayun Akhtar in 2011 when a judge reached a summary judgment without hearing the arguments of the defendants: JDN Properties, Joseph D. Natale, Deltrus LLC, and Randy DeLuca, said the attorney for Natale.

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burger drink fries hamburger
Clearly he didn’t go about it the right way, and not to disparage White Castle, but having had their burgers, The Juice can testify that they would definitely go down better with beer, or any other alcoholic beverage. As reported by riverfronttimes.com (St. Louis, Missouri):

A White Castle customer was so upset he couldn’t wash his sliders down with an ice cold beer that he stabbed another customer in the head, police say.

The knife-wielding craver was trying to BYOB around 3:50 a.m. Tuesday at the downtown White Castle on South Broadway near Busch Stadium when an employee asked him to leave. A 57-year-old customer came to the employee’s defense, and the suspect stabbed him once in the head.

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choose choice money
In sports, that’s something you hear over and over. If it works, keep doing it until the other team stops you. Then adjust your game plan accordingly. Alas, sports is not like life in many regards, including this one. Just ask this gent, who was awfully fond of a particular convenience store. As reported by NJ Advance Media for nj.com:

As one officer pinned him against a fence and more officers arrived, a man suspected of robbing the same convenience store three times this week admitted defeat.

“OK, you got me,” he said, according to police reports.

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hov
Carpooling is fantastic. It’s even better when your passenger is a real person! As reported by The New York Daily News:

 “The Most Interesting Man in the World” may be good company, but he’s a bad carpool passenger.

A Washington State trooper couldn’t resist snapping a photo — and issuing a ticket — after he pulled over a man in the HOV lane Tuesday using the famous face as a phony passenger.

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