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dollar sign money
Honestly, did she think she would get away with stealing from a fund for U.S. Marshal’s, police, and firefighter’s survivors? Apparently so. As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat:

A 53-year-old St. Louis woman pleaded guilty Wednesday to stealing nearly $19,000 intended to benefit the families of police, firefighters and deputy marshals killed in the line of duty.

Pamela Denise Robtoy appeared subdued when she walked to the lectern, speaking so softly that U.S. District Judge David R. Herndon asked her to speak up, as she pleaded guilty to embezzling money from a charity golf tournament intended to benefit BackStoppers and the U.S. Marshal’s Survivor’s Benefits Fund.

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police badge
You could go online and get red and blue lights and put them in your grill. Presto, you are now driving an unmarked cop car. That’s the game this guy was playing. (Hopefully it was just a game, and not something nefarious, not that the judge is likely to care.) Anyway, if this gent ever saw Casablanca, he would be Humphrey Bogart (he wishes), saying “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” As reported by khou.com:

Flashing red and blue lights on the front grill of a truck caught one officer off-guard Wednesday afternoon, on SH 249 in Tomball.

“I thought it was an unmarked police vehicle,” said Sgt,. Rebecca Carlisle, with Tomball Police.

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grandma grandmother granny
Hey, if you make a threat and you don’t follow through with it, people won’t take you seriously, right? Sure, but maybe you shouldn’t make the threat in the first place. As reported by ksdk.com:

Madison County Sheriff’s Office investigated an animal cruelty call in Godfrey, Ill. Monday night.

Cat lovers might want to skip this post and come back to Legal Juice tomorrow.

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dog puppy pup
It’s not exactly “the dog ate my homework,” but it’s in the same family of lame excuses. As reported by The Beacon-Times:

An Aurora man who said he was exhausted from taking care of a puppy was charged with DUI after falling asleep in a fast food restaurant drive-through lane Saturday morning.

Police found Matthew Gunderson, 29, 4100 block of Landing Drive, asleep behind the wheel of his car at the Steak and Shake restaurant in the 4300 block of Fox Valley Center Drive around 2:17 a.m.

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hamster
The “lesson” this teacher was trying to teach will – with absolute certainty – never be forgotten by seven South Korean elementary school students. As reported by The Korea Times:

Police Monday investigated an instructor at a rural South Korean boarding facility who bit a hamster to death and swallowed it in front of children.

Yikes! Why?

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car wash
Driving around the fountain in your car- that’s hilarious! No, not really. As reported by bt.com:

A cheeky driver thought he’d found a free car wash in the shape of Wakefield’s Bullring fountain – until the police noticed the brazen bather and gave chase.

The video shows the moment a motorist is chased by police after he took his car for a wash – in a fountain.

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soccer ball goal
If you ever needed evidence supporting the fact that soccer fans are extremely invested in their teams, look no further than this bizarre incident. As reported by espnfc.com:

The shocking incidents occurred in Maranhao, Brazil, last Sunday. According to reports, referee Otavio Jordao da Silva fatally stabbed footballer Josenir dos Santos Abreu.

A ref doesn’t just stab a player right? Right.

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baseball batter player hitting ball hit
Call me crazy, but shouldn’t you run a criminal background check before you give someone the job, especially one involving children? Er, uh, yup! Fortunately this gent’s crime only involved money.  Per The Shreveport Times:

Bossier Sheriff Julian Whittington says a Haughton man is wanted on felony theft charges for defrauding parents, youth and sponsors by stealing nearly $3,000 from a youth baseball league.

Well, he said he didn’t have a criminal record!

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Even the best phone scams succeed just a fraction of the time, but that provides a good living for too many people.  What about a scam that has virtually no chance of succeeding? Here’s just such a scam, as reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter:

90th Precinct – Southside–Williamsburg

A manipulative thief tried to get a woman to hand over a large sum of cash by telling her in a phone call to her Keap Street home on May 10 that they had kidnapped her son and were removing his fingers.

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fight fighters fighting
Any dispute that goes on for more than thirty years must have earth-shattering ramifications, no? No. Just money, and horsies. As reported by The Brandon Sun:

A federal appeals court says the United States Polo Association cannot be held in contempt for selling sunglasses with a logo that resembles Polo Ralph Lauren’s famous trademark of a horseman whacking a ball.

The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Manhattan issued its written ruling Wednesday. The decision reversed a finding of contempt by a lower court judge.

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