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Of course you won’t be thrown in the clink for playing golf … unless … you’re on disability. Doh! The Juice despises fraud, and hence is not at all fond of this chap. As reported by thisisnottingham.co.uk:

Judge Andrew Hamilton told Robert Cave he was an utter liar and cheat as he sentenced him at Nottingham Crown Court yesterday.

Not just a “liar and cheat,” but an utter liar and cheat. Nothing but love for the UK. About the “cheat” part:

Cave, 50, from Cotswold Grove, Mansfield, pocketed £12,604.65 [about $20,000 US] in Disability Allowance over more than three years.

The disability?

He claimed on forms for the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) that walking was extremely painful after both his knee caps were removed.

He also said he needed help using the toilet day and night and found it hard to lift pans from the cooker to the sink.

So you’re saying a guy without knee caps, who can barely lift a pan up off the stove, can play golf? Um, yeah.

By the time investigators acted on a tip-off to their fraud-busting hotline, Cave had developed a handicap of 15 and played regularly in competitions.

He was seen loading a golf trolley into the boot of a car in 2009.

Time to get some lighter pans for your kitchen, pal. Of course there were plenty of excuses and explanations.

The court heard his claim was legitimate when it was submitted in 1996, but he should have told the DWP if his condition improved.

Miss Pittman said her client’s condition had since deteriorated.

Blah blah blah. Here’s the source.

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Like you didn’t know it was the infamous Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona. His enlightened “pink underwear” policy is at the heart of a federal lawsuit. As reported by myfoxphoenix.com:

A federal court has reinstated a lawsuit against Maricopa County and Sheriff Joe Arpaio — over pink underwear. The Sheriff is well known for making inmates wear them.

A woman claims her brother’s death stemmed from a traumatic incident at the jail, when he was allegedly held down, stripped and forced into the pink underwear.

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If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

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Lots of folks have lots of reasons for remaining silent when questioned by the police. But this is a new one, at least for The Juice. First, the charges, as reported by Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):

… eluding police and resisting arrest, which are criminal charges. He also faces a dozen motor vehicle charges: careless driving, reckless driving, disregard of a traffic signal, making unsafe lane changes, going the wrong way on a one-way street, obstructing the passage of another vehicle, failure to comply with police orders, failure to use proper procedure when passing a stopped emergency vehicle, failure to signal a turn, failure to yield to an emergency vehicle, speeding across a sidewalk, and crossing a highway divider.

Yikes. So what happened?

Patrolman Robert Godown was cruising North Main Street near the Flemington Arms apartments on Feb. 28 at about 11 p.m., when Mohsen Shehata, 31, of Flemington allegedly sped by going south.

“Light ’em up,” he said to his partner. [Not really, but he should have, right?]

With lights flashing and siren wailing, Godown followed Shehata’s black Pontiac down Main Street, but when Shehata reached the Main Street roundabout, he turned left, against the flow of the circle, and continued a short way east in the wrong lane of Route 12 before hitting the curb and shrubs at Prestige Wealth Management and coming to a stop.

About the “why” …

When police asked him why he was driving so fast and was so unwilling to yield to authority, he replied that he was “angry” for personal reasons that he could not enumerate for religious reasons, police said.

Religious reasons? He’ll have to better than that for the judge. And it looks like he’ll have some time to think it over.

He was lodged in the county jail with bail set at $5,000 full.

Click here for the source.

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Fellas, did you not see your old mom sitting there when you started to mix it up? The Juice is guessing this is not the first fight between these two brothers. As reported by the Beaver County Times (Pennsylvania):

Police said Terry Wayne Welling, 47, was upset that a dog owned by ]his brother] Samuel Wayne Welling, 55, was “going to the bathroom” on the living room floor at 916 Duss Ave., listed as both men’s address.

Sam Welling was sitting next to Mary Welling, 87, on a sofa when Terry Welling confronted him and began punching him in the face, according to the report. Sam Welling punched Terry Welling multiple times, and the two brothers ended up atop their mother.

Um, boys. You’re hurting your me. Boys …

Police say Mary Welling was unable to free herself from beneath her sons and an errant punch from Terry Welling struck her in the shin. The report said Mary Welling suffered a 4-inch laceration and bone was exposed. She was taken to Heritage Valley Sewickley hospital.

Holy mackerel! The charges?

Sam Welling was charged with one count of simple assault, while Terry Welling was charged with two counts of simple assault and one count of reckless endangerment, according to court documents.

Don’t hold your breath waiting for mom to visit. Here’s the source.

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Well, at least in Nebraska, that’s what the law says. Here it is:

42-102. Minimum age; affliction with venereal disease, disqualification.

At the time of the marriage the male must be of the age of seventeen years or upward, and the female of the age of seventeen years or upward. No person who is afflicted with a venereal disease shall marry in this state.

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Based on this gent’s reaction, it’s a good thing the police sent a robot into the house. As reported by wftv.com:

The Brevard County Sheriff’s Office said the robot was sent into the West Melbourne home last week because the homeowner had called his family and said he was going to take his own life and the life of anyone who tried to stop him.

Deputies decided that the safest way to enter was with a robot mounted with cameras. The $65,000 robot had four cameras that recorded the whole encounter. When the robot entered the house, the man came out, naked, and first tried to break the robot, then shot it at least four times with an AK-47, according to deputies.

Give that robot a raise …

Despite the man’s violent actions, no one was injured and the standoff ended peacefully. Deputies said the man walked out, fully clothed and with his hands up, ready to be taken into custody.

Here’s the source.

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Assault by … breast milk, right from the source. Loyal Juice readers will recall a similar incident from across the pond a few years ago. Here’s the skinny, from wkyt.com:

A very unusual assault on an officer has more than doubled the trouble for a woman in Owensboro, Kentucky.

Thirty-one-year-old Toni Tramel was arrested Thursday for public intoxication, a misdemeanor. But it’s what she did later that has people talking.

As Tramel changed into an inmate uniform, she squirted a stream of breast milk into the face of the female deputy watching over her.

After the deputy decontaminated herself from the bio-hazard, Tramel was charged with third degree assault on a police officer. Her bond was set at ten-thousand dollars due to the felony charge.

Bam!

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This just proves that, the older you get, the more interesting you find history to be. Heck, some people find it down right exciting. Take this Nebraska couple …

Authorities arrested two people suspected of re-enacting the amorous behavior that led to the baby boom in the World War II movie theater at the State of Nebraska Historical Museum on Thursday.

A security officer watching the museum’s cameras told police he spotted a couple having sex at 2:55 p.m., Lincoln Police Officer Katie Flood said.

“He walked to the room to verify, heard sounds consistent with sexual intercourse, retreated and called LPD.”

Oh, yes. Of course. He had to verify what he had just seen on camera.

Police arrested a Lincoln man, 36, and woman, 39, on suspicion of indecent exposure.

The man remained in custody Friday morning awaiting an initial court appearance. The woman has been released.

So she walks, and he’s in the clink? What’s up with that? Here’s the source (The Journal Star, Lincoln, Nebraska).