Certainly domestic life often presents challenging situations. But this? As reported by BeeNews.com (New York):
Police responded to a North Seine Drive residence where a male and female were having an argument about how the pizza had been sliced.
Really?
What the hell was this guy thinking? He had just been released from jail. From the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s office:
A Crestview man released from the Okaloosa County Jail on a domestic violence battery charge Wednesday didn’t even make it out of the parking lot before committing crimes which put him right back in a cell.
38-year old Gabriel Allen Kirkpatrick of Grady Lane in Crestview is charged with four counts of burglary.
Kirkpatrick had just been released March 14th when Okaloosa Sheriff’s deputies say he went into the jail parking lot and started trying to break into cars. In one case, he unscrewed the radio antenna from the exterior and was trying to use it to gain entry.
Kirkpatrick was placed into custody and taken back inside for processing.
Dude! Dude? Here’s the source.
You’re thinking “of course.” Like most things in life, though, it’s not that simple. Or … is it? Dude got married in Pennsylvania, and years later married his girlfriend in Nevada. Pennsylvania charged him with bigamy, and got a conviction.
Not so fast, said Mr. Seiders. I got married in Nevada, not in Pennsylvania. So, even if I did commit bigamy, it was in Nevada, not here. Case dismissed!
What does the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania think of this argument? Not so much. Being married, it says, is conduct that occurred in Pennsylvania. Case closed!
So the police will investigate you if your husband merely claims you are using black magic? Apparently so, at least if you live in Kuwait. As reported by the Arab Times:
A Kuwaiti man has filed a complaint with the Adan Police Station accusing his ex-wife of doing black magic. He claims the magic harmed him and his two daughters, reports Al-Rai daily. According to the man the woman planted some magic charms in his home to promote hatred between him and his daughters. He also said because of the magic he and his daughters are suffering from dermal disease. The suspect will be summoned for interrogation.
Hmm. Perhaps your daughters don’t like you because you’re a yutz? And maybe your daughters have “dermal disease” because they are teenagers? Just sayin’ …
If these allegations are true … what a great example this Florida school superintendent is setting for her students. As reported by TCPalm.com:
The Florida Department of Law Enforcement is reviewing allegations that Martin County Schools Superintendent Nancy Kline cheated on a certification exam in 2009.
Yikes.
In a memo to School Board Attorney Doug Griffin dated Jan. 22, Kim Sabol, the district’s labor/employment representative, wrote that Terrie Kenney, a former consultant and volunteer with the district, claimed Kline phoned Kenney “for help in answering test questions while taking what Ms. Kenney later learned was a certification examination for the Florida Superintendent Special Certification Program.”
What are the specific allegations?
According to the memo, Kenney reported Kline called from a hotel room, said some of the questions were “really hard” and admitted she didn’t attend all the class sessions leading up to the test.
So like, if you don’t go to class, that makes the test harder? Who knew?
When Kenney suggested Kline call Frank Raffone, the district’s assistant superintendent, for help on some questions, “the superintendent did not say anything in response.”
Kline’s unwillingness to get help from a school official “solidified” for Kenney that the superintendent “knew what she was doing was wrong,” Sabol wrote.
Kline’s defense?
Kenney reportedly suggested to Sabol that Kline’s calls could have been allowed because it was an “open book exam.”
Sabol wrote that she replied, “Terrie, open book, if that is even true, does not mean cheating!”
“These allegations have no credibility – this is nothing more than a smear campaign,” Kline said Monday night.
Speaking of campaigns …
Kline is up for re-election this year, facing a challenge by School Board member Laurie Gaylord.
You can read more (a fair amount) and see a video here.
It would be misleading, though not totally false, to say this guy walked into a Florida Papa John’s and stole pizza. Here’s what happened, per wptv.com:
Polk County deputies say a man walked into Papa John’s Pizza restaurant, put on a pizza costume, and then walked out of the Lakeland restaurant Sunday evening.
You stole a pizza costume? The Juice is guessing you didn’t know they have video cameras in the store.
Detectives say a white man, perhaps 18 years old, entered the restaurant with six others, wearing a white button-up shirt, dark pants and a dark tie. He put the costume on and left the store wearing it.
The costume is described as approximately six feet tall, and looks like a giant slice of pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers and black olives.
Video surveillance shows the images of the suspect and four persons of interest. They are described as three older white males with dark hair. One had a full beard. The fourth person of interest is described as a white female with dark hair.
Here’s the source, including a photo and a video (skip to around 2:35).
If you’re separated, but still living in the same house, don’t you expect awkward situations? Well, a Pennsylvania man claims, in his defense, that he was just trying to avoid those awkward moments (awkward for him, any way). As reported by the Beaver County Times:
Suzanne Cripe, no age given, of 111 Grays Lane, contacted police Feb. 20 and said she had found a “transmitter device” under her bed, according to a township police report. She told police she thought the device had been placed there by her husband, Wayne Comet Cripe, 66, also of 111 Grays Lane.
The Cripes “have been separated for some time,” and were still sharing a house, but they had separate bedrooms, the police report said.
Has The Juice lost it, you may be asking yourself? No, he’s just referring to a very strange law that is on the books in the City of Everett, Washington. Here it is:
9.24.010 Hypnotism unlawful.
It is unlawful for any hypnotist or mesmerist, or other person, to exhibit or display, or permit to be exhibited or displayed, any subject of any hypnotist or mesmerist, or any person while under the influence of or alleged influence of hypnotism or mesmerism, in any window or public place outside of the hall or theater where such hypnotist or mesmerist is giving his entertainment or exhibition.
So the dude gets busted for going 105 MPH, and drives slower after that. What’s the bad news? He didn’t slow down quite enough. As reported by The Oregonian:
It all began Wednesday morning when a trooper stopped a westbound car hitting 92 mph on Interstate 84, just west of The Dalles.
During a routine check, the trooper discovered the driver – identified as Jose Romero-Valenzuela, 34, of Las Vegas — had already been stopped twice in the past 60 minutes.
The trooper learned that the same car had been pulled over 30 miles to the east for hitting 98 mph. And, before that a Gilliam County Sheriff’s Deputy pulled the driver for hitting 105 mph.
Just to review – 105, then 98, then 92. So over the course of an hour, he was clearly changing his ways. And in case you need further proof:
After letting the driver go, another trooper [number 4] west of Hood River was waiting with a radar gun, Hastings said. The car, he said, was driving within the 65 mph speed limit.
Reformed! Where was Mr. Romero-Valenzuela going in such a hurry?
[he] … told the trooper he was on his way to Oregon City. He had to appear in the Clackamas County Circuit Court for a preliminary hearing on a drug-related charge.
“Your Honor, I would have been on time, but …” Here’s the source.
Hey, The Juice is a big fan of Thin Mints. But this lady in Florida? Check out what happened to the housemate she believed took her box of Thin Mints. As reported by WZVN:
[Hersha] Howard’s roommate, Jasmin Wanke, told deputies she was asleep when Howard burst into her bedroom and accused her of eating the cookies.
Wanke said she gave them to Howard’s kids because they were awake and hungry at 1 a.m., according to a Collier County Sheriff’s Office report.
“Oh, cool. Thanks for looking out for my kids …” Um, no. That’s what should have happened. Here’s what did happen.
The women began to argue, then Howard reportedly jumped on top of Wanke and struck her in the face.
The two continued to fight until Wanke’s husband separated them.
A few hits to the face – that’s it? Not by a long shot.
When Wanke walked out of the bedroom, Howard grabbed a pair of scissors and began chasing and threatening Wanke, the report said.
As women ran down the stairs, Howard reportedly dropped the scissors, picked up a board and struck Wanke.
Damn! Sounds like pro wrestling.
Wanke then ran to the kitchen, where Howard confronted and attacked her again, according to the Sheriff’s Office.
During the fight, Howard bit Wanke in the breast and continued to hit her until the two were separated again, the report said.
The women ran out of the house, then Howard reportedly picked up a sign and struck Wanke with it several times.
A board, then a sign? What about a chair? Where’s the husband during all this?
Wanke’s husband tackled Howard before deputies arrived and arrested her (and charged her with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.
Finally!
She was taken to the Naples Jail Center for booking.
Here’s the source, including Ms. Howard’s mug shot.
