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You Know How You Can Forget Things When You Get Excited?
When you get excited, you sometimes forget things. Even when you’re robbing a bank? As reported by The Chicago Tribune:
The heist happened around 9:45 a.m. at the Citibank branch, 539 N. Michigan Ave., police said. A man walked into the bank and told a teller he had a bomb in a bag he was holding and demanded the teller stuff cash into it, police said.
It’s working! It’s working!
But then the man left the bag behind with the cash, police said.
Doh!
FBI officials said there was no bomb found and no one was injured.
The man is described being between 6 feet 2 and 6 feet 3 inches tall and clean shaven. He was wearing a baseball cap and wore one blue latex glove.
Here’s the source, including a still from the bank’s video surveillance.
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This Is Where You Picked To Expose Yourself?
Of all the places he could have picked, check out where this gent chose to expose himself, as reported by phillyburbs.com:
A man exposed himself to a woman inside the Bucks County Association for the Blind.
Newtown Township police said the incident occurred about 2 p.m. Friday inside the bookstore at the offices at 400 Freedom Drive.
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Woman Assaults Cop With A What?
Seriously, are you ever going to escape from the police armed with a dildo? From The Chicago Tribune:
Carolee Bildsten, 56, of Gurnee, will plead not guilty next month to accusations that she charged an officer with the “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device” described in a police report, defense attorney Neil Calanca said.
Mr. Calanca was not pleased with the inclusion of a description of the “weapon.”
A former police officer, Calanca said the officer involved in the incident “should be ashamed of himself,” and that he would have been embarrassed to include such information in a police report. Gurnee police Cmdr. Jay Patrick countered that such reports “are required to be a factual account of an incident.”
So what led to the brandishing of the “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device?”
The alleged assault occurred when the officer went with Bildsten to her apartment in the 5300 block of David Court on Nov. 9 after employees at Joe’s Crab Shack in Gurnee accused her of dining without paying for the second time, according to Patrick.
Bildsten reached into a dresser drawer for what the officer thought was money to pay her bill, but instead pulled out the “pleasure device,” police allege. The officer deflected the sex toy with his hand, and he was not injured, Patrick said.
The charges?
Along with the aggravated assault charge, Bildsten is scheduled to appear in court on Jan. 27 on the Crab Shack-related theft of services charge and an unrelated charge for aggravated driving under the influence of alcohol.
Click here for the source.
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A Slight Overreaction By Neighbor To A Ball Going Into His Yard
Kids play. Balls go into neighbors’ yards. No big deal, right? Normally, yes. Here, it was a BIG deal. As reported by the Flagler County Sheriff’s office:
A 56-year-old Palm Coast man was arrested Tuesday evening and charged with three misdemeanors after deputies said he fired a gun after a basketball rolled into his yard.
Bam!
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Two DUIs, And More, In One Day?
A bender? Not uncommon. Driving while on a bender? Common, but thankfully not as common. Getting busted while driving on a bender? Less common. Getting busted TWICE IN THE SAME DAY while on a bender? Fortunately, extremely rare, but it does happen… As reported by The Beaver County Times (Pennsylvania):
Around 9 a.m. that … morning, [Yvette L.] Cavallo [29] was charged by Harmony Township police with driving under the influence of a controlled substance and possession of a controlled substance.
In that case, police said, Cavallo admitted to taking a combination of pills and then texting while driving. Cavallo hit a telephone pole in the 3700 block of Duss Avenue in Harmony, police said.
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Felony Charge For Throwing A Soda?
Can you really be charged with a felony for throwing a soda? At a machine? Yup. As reported by The Gainesville Sun:
Upset that his order wasn’t prepared correctly, a 30-year-old man is accused of throwing his soda on a cash register at a Taco Bell in Gainesville on Sunday night, shutting down the restaurant’s computer network for several hours.
Doh! The whole “computer network.” Hence the felony …
Suresh A. Chapman, of Gainesville, was charged with damaging a computer resulting in a loss of $5,000 or more, a second-degree felony.
Police said he threw his soft drink at the register and credit card machine at the Taco Bell at 3408 Archer Road at about 8 p.m., causing an estimated $2,500 worth of damage.
The damage to the computer network meant the store lost about $3,000 in revenue, according to a Gainesville Police Department report.
How much time could you get for that?
GPD spokeswoman Cpl. Angelina Valuri said Officer Sean Borges was right to charge Chapman with the second-degree felony, which can carry a 15-year prison sentence.
Yikes. Adding injury to injury …
Because of the arrest, Chapman also was charged with violating his probation on a 2011 child abuse case, according to the arrest report.
Mr. Chapman is cooling off in a jail cell.
While the bond was set at $5,000 for the computer damage charge, Chapman was being held Monday at the Alachua County jail without bond because he had been charged with violating his probation.
Click here for the source.
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You Did What On Your Trip To Bermuda?
Whatever your opinion is on the legalization of marijuana, it goes without saying that it’s illegal in many places. It also going without saying that you shouldn’t try to sneak it on a plane and into a foreign country when you know it’s illegal in that country. Or does it? As reported by The Boston Herald:
Harvard is being tight-lipped after one of its instructors was busted with pot in her underwear after landing in Bermuda for a weekend getaway with her husband.
In her underwear! Brilliant! Nobody has tried to hide anything there before … except the Underwear Bomber, and probably scores of other folks!
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Would You Do This To Prevent A Burglar From Entering Your Home?
Sure, you might wield a gun. You might scream. How about barking like a dog? From The Athens Banner-Herald:
A Simmons Street woman scared off a would-be burglar about 11 p.m. Saturday by acting like a dog, an Athens-Clarke police report said.
When a suspicious man tried turning the woman’s door knob, she got on the floor and began scratching at the door and acting like a large dog, police said, though what dog-like behaviors she specifically mimicked remains unknown.
Talk about thinking on your feet (all four of them) …
The man, who wore an olive jacket and appeared to be homeless, quickly ran from the porch, according to the report. Police searched the neighborhood for him, but to no avail.
Who needs a dog when you can just imitate one? (Dog people – please – no hate mail!)
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Being A Bad Winner? Not Cool
What happens to bad winners? Usually nothing, but this is not the usual case. As reported by phillyburbs.com:
A video game defeat and a bruised ego landed a victim in the hospital with a broken jaw and his buddy in jail facing criminal charges, according to police.
He and the unidentified victim spent Wednesday afternoon at a residence in Evesham playing a video game that Brown eventually lost, police said.