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It’s just a bad idea to leave your car unlocked, period. It’s an even worse idea to leave your car unlocked with dangerous items in it. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A 48-year-old man told Port St. Lucie police Tuesday he discovered his throwing knife, sheath, .40 caliber pistol and magazines missing from his 2003 Toyota Corolla, according to a police report released Wednesday.

He said he left his vehicle Monday in the driveway of his home in the 2700 block of Southwest District Avenue. The vehicle, he told police, was not locked.

Unlocked!

As he walked up to his house after noticing the items missing, he saw a plastic bag with writing. The writing stated, “LOADED GUN Unlocked Car = STUPID!!” The bag’s other side read, “LOTS OF Children in area.”

The man saw his handgun and knife were inside, though 30 cartridges were missing.

Master Sgt. Frank Sabol, police spokesman, said Wednesday the person responsible could face charges including armed burglary and theft.

Good luck getting a conviction on that one. Here’s the source, which includes photos of the bag and its messages.

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When you think of road rage, you think about aggressive driving, or maybe even someone pulling a weapon, right? But this? You would not think of this. Ever. Per BeeNews.com (New York):

Police responded to a road rage incident on Union Road. Reportedly, two motorists were spitting on each other after following each other around town.

The Juice can think of worse ways to settle disputes.

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There comes a time in every thief’s life … Okay, so a lot of thieves won’t just come clean. But seriously dude – cut a deal. Next time you’ll turn the iPad off, or at least its location services. As reported by The Canberra Times (Australia):

A court has been asked to decide whether a man trying to find his allegedly stolen iPad was acting unlawfully when he tracked it down to a north Canberra townhouse using Apple’s anti-theft app and a GPS.

Police, acting on the man’s information, allegedly discovered the iPad and a cache of stolen items at the Forde house where 49-year-old Alden Harder lived.

Don’t draw any comparisons to “the decider,” but The Juice would not even take this under advisement. What’s the “lame defense” referenced in the post’s title?

Mr Harder’s lawyer has argued the man physically trespassed on his client’s property while searching for the iPad and had also committed ”trespass via radio wave” when he activated an alarm on the device while it was inside Mr Harder’s house.

Mr Harder has not been charged with any offence.

Yet.

On Monday, police applied to the ACT Magistrates Court for a forensic procedures order, asking for the man to submit to fingerprinting.

Mr Harder is fighting the order.

Police allege the iPad was stolen from a house that was under construction in Braddon on May 24 but the theft wasn’t reported until three days later.

They say the owner used Apple’s in-built Find My iPad service and his GPS to track down the iPad to Mr Harder’s townhouse in Forde on May 25. He walked around the property and looked in a window.

Find My iPad allows users to remotely track their missing or stolen iPad via GPS and to send messages, trigger an alarm or wipe their device.

It should be noted that THIS DOES NOT WORK IF THE LOCATION SERVICES ARE DISABLED OR THE DEVICE IS OFF.

The man went to police with the information but was apparently unable to elicit action.

The court heard the man went back to the townhouse a second time on May 29 and used the app to remotely trigger the alarm on the iPad, which he then heard ringing inside the garage.

Police then obtained a search warrant for Mr Harder’s house.

They allegedly discovered the iPad and a haul of other items, including laptops and a police officer’s badge, which were said to have been stolen from as far back as 2009.

Jackpot!

The court heard police wanted to take Mr Harder’s fingerprints to see if they matched prints taken from the scene of the iPad theft and another burglary.

But Mr Harder’s lawyer Paul Edmonds argued the search was based on evidence which was obtained unlawfully because the man trespassed on his client’s property while walking round the townhouse.

Blah, blah, blah. The Juice is with the prosecutor on this one.

But prosecutor Keegan Lee dismissed that argument as ”an absurd expansion of the definition of a trespass”.

Mr Lee said if electronic transmission were a trespass then ”I would safely say nearly everybody in this courtroom has committed that act by having a wireless router” that transmitted Wi-Fi internet through their homes and into their neighbours’ property.

Boom! Here’s the source.

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Is it really a “car chase” if the suspect isn’t speeding, but just refuses to pull over? While you’re pondering that, here’s the story, as reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

On Aug. 9 the deputy saw a Mitsubishi traveling south on Beal Parkway with no tag light. He activated his overhead lights at Lincoln Drive and Shady Lane.

The driver failed to stop and continued down Lincoln Drive to Auburn Road. He then turned left on Auburn, traveling south, and then turned right onto Riverside, then right onto Maine Avenue. He pulled into a driveway and parked the Mitsubishi.

The officer noted the man, identified as Matthew Allen Birr of Fort Walton Beach, traveled 4/10ths of a mile from the point where the deputy activated his lights to where he stopped.

Okay buddy – what gives?

Birr told the deputy he didn’t want to stop because he was afraid he’d get a DUI. The deputy noted his speed never exceeded 30 mph.

Like most problems that you ignore, this one didn’t go away.

He was charged with felony fleeing and eluding. His court date was Sept. 9.

No DUI! Doh! Here’s the source.

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Hey, if you don’t like the service, tip accordingly. These three ladies, dining at a Red Lobster in Fairview Heights, Illinois, decided on a different approach. Big mistake. As reported by The Bellevue News-Democrat:

Three Red Lobster customers were charged Saturday in connection with aggravated battery at the Fairview Heights restaurant.

The three women, all from Belleville, were accused of throwing water on an employee Friday and striking her several times with their hands and a menu, according to Detective Tim Mueller with the Fairview Heights Police Department.

A waitress beat down? Not cool at all, ladies.

The following suspects each were charged with mob action and aggravated battery in a public place: Sharrell A. Evans, 21, of 5819 Bret Michael Drive;Britley L. Green, 22, of 7003 Gary Drive; and Geneen L. Green, 44, of 7003 Gary Drive.

Bail for each suspect was set at $50,000. They remain in custody at the Fairview Heights Police Department until arraignment.

As for the “why?”

Police have not been determined what prompted the dispute.

Here’s the source that, sadly, has no mug shots.

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Girls wanted to get their manicure on. Totally fine. Not paying for it, and worse? (you’ll have to read below) – totally uncool. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel

Ty Nguyen called police around 2:45 p.m. Thursday after the three teens ran from MD Nails on Claracona Ocoee Road after having their nails done. The girls arrived at the nail salon and asked to have sets of acrylic nails applied, Nguyen told the Orlando Sentinel.

When the $60 manicures were finished, the teens — a 15-year-old and two 17-year-olds who the Sentinel is not naming because they are minors — refused to pay, according to police.

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How can you entice men to go to something, like say, church? In a word – strippers. There’s some crazy stuff going on in Warsaw, Ohio… From The Columbus Dispatch:

Every weekend for the last four years, [Pastor Bill] Dunfee and members of his ministry have stood watch over [strip-club owner Tommy] George’s joint, taking up residence in the right of way with signs, video cameras and bullhorns in hand. They videotape customers’ license plates and post them online, and they try to save the souls of anyone who comes and goes.

Can they do that?

George … sued the church in federal court several years ago, claiming a violation of his constitutional rights, but he lost.

Okay, Plan B ….

Now, the dancers have turned the tables, so to speak. Fed up with the tactics of Dunfee and his flock, they say they have finally accepted his constant invitation to come to church.

It’s just that they’ve come wearing see-through shorts and toting Super Soakers.

They bring lawn chairs and – yesterday, anyway – grilled hamburgers, Monster energy drinks and corn on the cob.

How do the parties view this battle of wills?

[Dunfee] said their presence has united his church members and reinvigorated their mission to shut down the club.

“They have now seen the evil firsthand,” Dunfee said. “This has just made us stronger.”

George laughed at that notion.

“They’re just mad,” he said, “because their wives won’t let them come to my club.”

You can read a lot more about the dueling protests (and see photos) here.

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So maybe it’s not 100% certain that he was drinking with the monkeys, but he let them out of their cages, he was drunk, and … as reported by The August Chronicle (Georgia):

According to a GHSU Police Bureau incident report, a co-worker discovered Coley Mitchell, 32, partially unclothed in the Laboratory Animal Services technician locker room at the Sanders Research and Education Building about 10:30 p.m. Monday.

Yikes!

Campus police said Mitchell, a Lab Animal Services technician, was highly intoxicated and sitting in a chair with his pants half-down.

Partially clothed, highly intoxicated – what about the monkeys?

The spokeswoman said two monkeys were found outside their cages in the lab but were confined to the room. There is no indication the monkeys had been harmed.

Whew.

Police said Mitchell became combative and uncooperative with officers while being escorted from the locker room.

He was booked into the Richmond County jail Monday on charges of public intoxication.

A spokeswoman said Mitchell was still employed by Georgia Health Sciences University on Friday.

That’ll probably change. Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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There are some records you just don’t want to set. It looks like this Iowan may hold this record for a while. As reported by the Iowa City, Iowa Patch:

Justin A. Clark, 24, of North Liberty, was arrested July 29 after North Liberty police received reports of a driver colliding with curbs and attempting to rev up his engine.

Clark was sitting in the driver’s seat and was unable to answer any of the officer’s questions, police said. He also was unable to get out of the vehicle, walk or perform field sobriety tests, police said.