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You just can’t go around arresting people for cussing, or you may be ponying up, as this Georgia city discovered. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Community activist Mary Kirkendoll grew so frustrated with Smyrna’s town hall question-and-answer session, she stood up and began to leave. Before she got to the door, she turned toward the audience and uttered a profanity. “This is [expletive],” she said during the April 21, 2009, meeting. “They are never going to tell the truth.”

Really, AJC? You can’t say “bullshit” when it’s a direct quote that’s at the heart of the story? Anyway …

Kirkendoll was immediately put under arrest and then jailed for more than two hours. Later, she filed a federal lawsuit, alleging her free speech rights had been violated and that she had been falsely arrested and imprisoned.

What did this lulu cost the city? (Fine. What did it cost the city’s insurance carrier…)

This week, the city’s insurance carrier agreed to pay $85,000 to Kirkendoll to settle the litigation, city spokeswoman Jennifer Bennett said. The city was not involved in the carrier’s decision to settle, she said.

“I hope that the city and mayor got the message and that no one else will ever be arrested for simply speaking out during a public meeting,” Kirkendoll said Thursday. “I am certainly thankful the lawsuit is over and that I have finally been vindicated.”

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Surely at one point this law served some purpose – maybe back when people knew what roentgen rays were. But now? It seems unlikely, though RCW 70.98.170 (Prohibition — fluoroscopic x-ray shoefitting devices) is still on the books in Washington. It reads as follows:

The operation or maintenance of any X-ray, fluoroscopic, or other equipment or apparatus employing roentgen rays, in the fitting of shoes or other footwear or in the viewing of bones in the feet is prohibited. This prohibition does not apply to any licensed physician, surgeon, *podiatrist, or any person practicing a licensed healing art, or any technician working under the direct and immediate supervision of such persons.

You’ll find the law here.

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He crashed his Hummer into their – um, his – house! At about 2:30 a.m.! As reported by delawareonline:

According to New Castle County police, the tenants, a 50-year-old man and his 53-year-old wife, awoke around 2:30 a.m. to a loud crash at their home on Lute Court in the Harmony Woods development in Ogletown.

They looked outside to see “headlights shining into the bedroom” and quickly went to check on their 6-year-old son sleeping in a separate bedroom. They then heard what sounded like a person attempting to kick in the front door.

As the woman was on the phone, calling 911, Ott allegedly shouted, “Tell the police it’s the landlord that tore up the building.”

He then fled the scene, according to police, leaving a footprint on the front door.

Officers investigating the incident later went to Ott’s home on Old Baltimore Pike and found his Hummer, damaged, with a pine branch lodged in the bumper.

Doh! What is the landlord, Mr. Ott looking at?

…charges of attempted burglary, harassment, leaving the scene of an accident, reckless driving, failure to report an accident and endangering the welfare of the three occupants of the home.

Whew. The Juice is out of breath.

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At a boot sale, which is roughly the equivalent of a swap meet, an elderly couple must have been delighted with the lovely plant they purchased. Certainly it was treated quite well, as evidenced by its incredible growth. So why is this Juiceworthy? As reported by the BBC:

An elderly couple have unwittingly grown the “biggest cannabis plant” police officers had seen after buying what they thought was an innocuous shrub from a car boot sale.

Oops.

The couple, who live in Bedford, had planted the drug in their garden.

Police officers were astounded when they spotted the plant. They have collected it and a spokesperson said it would be disposed of.

The couple will face no action from the police.

Whew.

The officers took to their @bedfordlpt Twitter account to express their surprise at the find, saying: “Seized today. Elderly couple bought shrub at car boot sale, tended carefully – biggest cannabis plant we had seen!!”

Here’s the source. (See the tweeted photo above.)

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Of course you can, especially under circumstances like these, as reported by The Hamilton Spectator (Hamilton, Ontario):

Hamilton police responded to reports of an abandoned vehicle at 4:45 a.m. in the middle of the roadway at Ridge Road near 5th Road.

Abandoned? Not exactly.

They found the car with the headlights on, the vehicle in gear and keys in the ignition.

The driver was passed out in the front seat. She was arrested and refused a breathalyzer test.

The 24-year-old was charged with impaired and refusing to take a breathalyzer test. She was released on a promise to appear.

No bail? The Juice would not have been so trusting. Here’s the source.

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Please, save your apologies, especially the ones that were part of the judge’s sentence! As reported by The Sun Chronicle (Attleboro & North Attleboro, Massachusetts):

A Plainville resident, a former municipal water superintendent, must write an apology to the town where he was once employed and pay to have apologies printed in a major regional newspaper and a trade magazine as part of the sentence for falsifying municipal water safety records.

John Tetreault, a Plainville resident and the former water superintendent for the town of Avon was sentenced by a federal judge Thursday to apologize to the town’s residents by having to write an apology for falsifying water safety records, and placing that apology in the Boston Globe and in a local and regional trade publications, the Boston Globe reported Saturday.

Is this a joke? The Juice is all for creative sentencing, but how does this help anyone? What a total waste of money. Well, at least he’ll be doing some jail time. Wait, no jail time?

He must also pay a $15,000 fine and was placed on probation for a year.

No, not probation! Oh the humanity! As for what specifically Mr. Tetreault did:

According to the published report, Tetreault, 55, pleaded guilty to two counts of knowingly submitting federally required reports with false information about disinfectant levels at the town’s two water treatment facilities, saying they met safety standards when they didn’t.

Hmm. Sounds like a pretty serious infraction. In fairness to the judge, perhaps it was a factor that …

Officials said public health was not threatened because Avon’s water was clean and safe without the disinfectant. It was reported that the records were tampered with on four occasions in 2010, according to investigators who worked on the case.

Why cut the guy a break because he apparently lucked out on the water not being dangerous in spite of his fraud. Surely the disinfectants serve some purpose? Not cool judge. Not cool at all. Dude should have seen the inside of a cell, at least for a few months. Here’s the source.

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If you’ve never played doorbell ditch (a/k/a ding dong ditch), well, you’re from Mars. Still, as common as it is, kids who hear this story may think twice about it. And perhaps the “victims” of this harmless prank will think twice about how they react. From an article in the Albany Times-Union:

A lawyer retained by the parents of a 14-year-old prankster tackled by a Delmar homeowner characterized the man as an over-aggressive vigilante.

The attorney’s account of the incident challenged the folk hero status a deluge of online commentators have granted 37-year-old homeowner Daniel P. Van Plew since the incident Saturday night when the boy rang his doorbell and tried to run away with three friends.

What do you think?

“He (Van Plew) crossed the line. He never should have used that kind of force when he realized it was a 14-year-old who’s a small kid,” said attorney Kristie Hanson, who represents the teen’s parents, Rob and Ann Madeo of Glenmont.

The boy, whose name is being withheld because of his age, is 5-foot-7 and 120 pounds. Van Plew is 5-foot-11, 170 pounds and plays hockey.

Speaking on behalf of the Madeos at her Rotterdam law office on Thursday, Hanson alleged that Van Plew tackled the teen on the asphalt roadway of Egmont Court more than 100 feet beyond his property line, roughly dragged the boy back inside his house with his arms pinioned behind his back, forced him to sit on the floor and said he was going to kill the boy if he tried to leave.

Both Van Plew and the police report stated that the Madeo boy was brought down in the homeowner’s yard, an important legal distinction because a homeowner is afforded more protection in a case of self-defense that occurs on one’s property compared to off the property.

Hanson said the three other teens engaged with the Madeo boy in “ding-dong ditch” concur that Van Plew tackled the teen off the homeowner’s property. “People have a right to defend their homes and property, but when they leave their property to effect a citizen’s arrest, the use of force has to be reasonable based on the crime committed,” said Lt. Robert Berben.

Interesting, right? You can read more – a fair amount – by clicking here.

Update: Mr. Van Plew was charged and … the charges were dropped. Read about it here.

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What do you think? Is a diplomat entitled to immunity from prosecution for a DUI? As reported by NaplesNews.com (Florida):

Collier County sheriff’s deputies found an uninjured Louis Vlasho outside his Mercedes sport utility vehicle at the intersection of U.S. 41 North and Pelican Bay Boulevard around 8:40 p.m. The 75-year-old told deputies he lost control of the SUV while turning into Pelican Bay.

Vlasho at one point handed a deputy a Department of State identification card and said he knew the sheriff, according to an arrest report. He later said he was on his way home from a political fundraiser.

So he played the diplomat card and the “sheriff” card? How’d that go?

Following his arrest, Vlasho told deputies at the Naples Jail Center he had diplomatic immunity because of his position, a report stated. The Department of State said Vlasho was not exempt because he was not on official business and because “driving his vehicle intoxicated would never fall within his official duties.”

Fuhgeddaboutit!

Vlasho, of the 6500 block of Crown Colony Place, faces charges of DUI and DUI property damage.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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You’re the new boss. You want to let your employees know that you’re in charge. If you’re in Saudi Arabia, this is NOT the way to do it. As reported by Emirates 24/7:

The new manager at the mall in the western Red Sea port of Jeddah met the workers at his section and gave them job instructions.

“He then told them they must obey and implement his orders to the letter, saying that he is their god,” Kabar newspaper said.

Uh oh.

It said eight workers reported the new manager to the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice.

“Commission members went to the mall and arrested the man, who will be referred to court for claiming he is a god…the eight workers will testify in court.”

So long, “boss.” Here’s the source.

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Just the other day, The Juice blogged about a cancer faker. That lady had nothing on Ms. Lori E. Stilley. As reported by The Gloucester County Times (New Jersey) at nj.com:

Making more than $3,000 from sales of an e-book was far from the only thing a township woman did to rake in tens of thousands of dollars from lying about having cancer, authorities allege.

According to a statement released from the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office, the scheme began and ended in 2011.

Lori E. Stilley, 40, told family and friends in February that she had been diagnosed with Stage III bladder cancer, authorities said.

She told them she’d undergone radiation and chemotherapy treatment, prosecutors said, posting the same on Facebook and her personal website.

In April, Stilley allegedly said the cancer had progressed to Stage IV. She told her loved ones she didn’t have health insurance, although authorities said investigation would show she’d never been diagnosed with cancer.

Surely if you’re telling folks your cancer is Stage IV, you have an end game, right? Well … Anyway, in the interim …

The friends and relatives organized several efforts to raise money for Stilley, including a T-shirt sale. A fundraising banquet in July 2011 raised $8,400. Another fundraiser and cash raffle that summer brought in another $1,000.

Stilley sold her e-book about struggling daily with cancer – posted for sale in October – for $14.99. She reportedly told people she wanted to marry her boyfriend before she died.

So again, loved ones came through for her. They planned the wedding that took place within a week and a half. The organizers haggled the wedding hall price down to $500 and covered the cost on their own.

Then there were the donations of gift cards totaling more than $1,600.

One friend even created a meal calendar – posted on Stilley’s website – by which kind souls prepared and delivered meals to her. They scheduled dates for deliveries months ahead of time.

That’s one helluva support group this lady had.

But the alleged scheme wouldn’t include a faked death. In November, when she was supposedly due soon for hospice care, Stilley posted on her Facebook page a message saying she was feeling better and believed a miracle was coming.

A miracle? That’s the exit plan for your despicable scheme? And you thought people would buy it? A miracle?

When she postponed hospice, her long-loyal friends became suspicious.

Following investigation, Stilley surrendered Wednesday morning, authorities said, at the Delran Township Police Department.

She was charged theft by deception and was released after posting $25,000 bail.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Stilley.