Articles Posted in Yikes

Squeezed on:

By

jewelry%20ring.jpg

Well, it’s certainly not the first place folks would look for missing property. Nevertheless, by her own admission, Ms. Jones hid the jewelry in her, uh, um … you know. As reported by The Sandusky Register:

Erie County Sheriff’s deputies arrested an Elyria roofer who told them she stole valuable jewelry from a Wakeman home and concealed it inside her body.

Elizabeth N. Jones, 19, is in the Erie County jail on charges that include theft, burglary, tampering with evidence and possession of drugs.

Michele Halliwell, 12000 block Ohio 113 East, told deputies Jones had been part of a crew working on her roof when she went inside to use the restroom and asked to use the bathtub to wash her legs. Shortly afterward, Halliwell noticed her husband’s wedding ring and grandmother’s diamond ring were missing.

Someone had also rifled through her purse and wallet.

… [Jones] also admitted she’d gone inside the Halliwell home looking for something to steal and had concealed the rings inside her vagina. Deputies asked a female nurse at the jail to recover the rings, which together had an estimated value of $5,000.

Yikes. Surely the nurse was thrilled to get that call. Here’s the source, with a mug shot.

Squeezed on:

By

thermostat.jpg
In probably every household, there is disagreement regarding the desirable thermostat temperature. In almost every household, a compromise is reached. In this household, not so much. These sisters, who share a home, got into it over one degree. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

Ilona Sales and Wanda Lupina both say they ended up bruised in the tussle sparked when Sales turned the heat up to 68 degrees.

Lupina turned the heat down one degree, to 67, and that’s when the trouble started …

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

mad%20angry%20woman%20lady%20upset%20irate%20pissed%20enraged.jpg

In her wake, a woman from Lillington, North Carolina, left 2 injured men, one of them a police officer. Warning: Men, reading this will likely cause you to cringe. From The Daily Record:

Rebecca Arnold Dawson of Lillington was in court again on charges of assaulting Lillington Police Officer Ronnie Bass. Officer Bass tried to arrest Ms. Dawson after she allegedly attacked Kevin Russ, left him with one of his testicles partially removed, after a party shortly after Christmas in 2006. She recently pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault charges in the attack on Mr. Russ.

I’m not sure why the paper says “alleged” since she pleaded guilty. How did she “allegedly” partially castrate the man?

…with her bare hands …

So it probably doesn’t surprise you that her arrest did not go smoothly.

Assistant District Attorney Victoria Hardin said Officer Bass had his hands full when he tried to arrest Ms. Dawson. Ms. Hardin said Officer Bass used a flashlight to a detain Ms. Dawson because of an allergy to pepper spray. He repeatedly hit Ms. Dawson on her legs which Ms. Hardin said was necessity. “He used the flashlight because Ms. Dawson refused to put her legs in the car,” Ms. Hardin said.

Officer Bass eventually had to put Ms. Dawson in leg irons to help control her.

She went on to describe a scene that resulted in Ms. Dawson kicking out the windshield of Officer Bass’ vehicle once she was forced inside. She said Ms. Dawson made a clear effort to spit on the officer and did so, with a bloody mix going into his face. She also said Ms. Dawson used profane language during the entire arrest event.

And at the trial for assaulting the police officer, her defense was … self-defense! How did that play?

“Self-defense is not available in this case,” Judge Weeks told Ms. Dawson. “You are clearly not without fault in this case. It is also clear you were trying to do what you wanted and the officer was doing what was necessary to ascertain what was going on. Your injuries are clearly attributable to your conduct.”

Tough talk indeed, but what was the result? No jail time! She pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor.

Squeezed on:

By

no%20drunk%20driving%20drinking.jpg

(Pretty provocative title, right? The Juice is looking forward to the MADD emails.) Who is a better driver: a drunk 40-year-old or … a 13-year-old boy? Unfortunately, the drunk guy did not give himself the choice of “none of the above.” As reported by The Seattle Times, he went with … the boy.

The jerky driving and constant braking was an indicator of an inexperienced driver, but when the trooper pulled the sedan over in SeaTac on Sunday he was more than surprised by who was behind the wheel.

The driver, a 13-year-old boy, told the trooper that it was his first time behind the wheel, according to the State Patrol. His father, 40, had apparently been drinking at a house and had his son drive them home, said Trooper Julie Startup, recalling the conversation she had with the colleague who stopped the Lincoln on Sunday afternoon.

Doh! How about a taxi?

According to Startup, the silver Lincoln was heading east on South 166th Street in SeaTac when the vehicle, which had a broken windshield, and its young driver caught the eye of the trooper.

The trooper had the boy’s father step out of the car and noticed obvious signs of intoxication, she said. The man was booked in King County Jail for investigation of reckless endangerment and allowing an unauthorized person to drive.

And the young wheel man?

The boy was released to his mother and will not face criminal charges.

Here’s a one-word law that should be in force everywhere: “Really?” Of course, The Juice will be the sole arbiter of what constitutes a violation, and the appropriate punishment. Here’s the source for the story.

Squeezed on:

By

pills%20prescriptions%20medications%20drug%20pill%20prescription%20medication%20drugs.jpg
There’s often an innocent explanation for even the weirdest behavior. Let’s just say you want to keep some pills warm. Where on your body would you put them to accomplish this? Now it’s not like your hiding them – just keeping them warm. Well sir, as reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News…

A man was arrested after deputies found 55 pills hidden under his groin.

How exactly do you find pills in someone’s groin? This gent made it easy.

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

ipad2%20ipad%202.jpg

Now remember, we’re talking about an iPad 2, not just an iPad … From a report in the Global Times …

A teenager in China sold one of his kidneys to buy an iPad 2 …

A kidney!!!!!

The 17-year-old boy, identified only by the surname Zheng, searched the internet and found a buyer who was willing to pay 22,000 yuan ($3400) for the organ.

Without telling his family of his plans [“Oh mom, dad – I’m going to sell my kidney for an iPad 2. Back in a bit.”], he travelled north from his home in the eastern Anhui province to a hospital in the city of Chenzhou in Hunan province, where he was operated on under the supervision of a kidney-selling agent.

Whew. At least it was supervised …

His mother’s suspicions were aroused when her son returned home with an iPad 2 and an iPhone, and Zheng, who was left with a deep red scar from the surgery, was forced to admit what he did.

Wo there. An iPhone too? That changes everything!

She took him back to Chenzhou to report the crime, but the contact numbers the kidney agents gave Zheng were not working. The hospital, which admitted contracting out its urology department to a businessman, denied any connection with the kidney-removal operation.

On to another town. Yikes.

Squeezed on:

By

computer%20throwing%20window%20out%20stupid%20monitor.jpg
So 55-year-old Wyoming resident David Anthony Vaughn was enjoying “Iron Man” at the Eastridge Movies when the unthinkable occurred – the projector malfunctioned. Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! When Mr. Vaughan demanded a refund, he was offered a voucher to see another movie. Maybe a later showing of “Iron Man?” Anyway, as reported in the Casper Star-Tribune:

According to witnesses, Vaughn became agitated as theater employees tried to explain their policy to him, yelling at workers and telling other patrons they were being ripped off. One customer heard him say that he was going to get his money’s worth before he ripped a computer monitor from the ticket counter and threw it through the glass door. After breaking the glass, the monitor came to rest by a table in the mall food court.

Shazam! Makes you wonder what he would do when faced with a serious injustice (real or perceived). Surely when the police arrived, Mr. Vaughan realized that, perhaps, he had overreacted?

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

debt%20owe%20money%20debts.jpg
Most people who owe money and don’t have it will just admit it, right? Not so with this Florida man. As reported by The St. Petersburg Times:

Michael Cherubino, 51, of 5464 Birchwood Road in Spring Hill had told deputies two men attacked him at his home, stabbed him in the stomach and stole about $4,000 before fleeing in a “beat up” white pickup.

Investigators say he later admitted to Hernando County sheriff’s deputies that he had lied and cut himself with a piece of glass so he would be hospitalized, miss his court date and have an excuse not to pay $4,000 he owed in child support.

Yikes. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

388733_big_toe.jpg
Really. Mr. Bryson Pillars was chewing some tobacco when … [I’ll let the Mississippi Supreme Court take it from here. They just don’t write them like they used to.]

It seems that appellant [Mr. Pillars] consumed one plug of his purchase, which measured up to representations, that it was tobacco unmixed with human flesh, but when appellant tackled the second plug it made him sick, but, not suspecting the tobacco, he tried another chew, and still another, until he bit into some foreign substance, which crumbled like dry bread, and caused him to foam at the mouth, while he was getting “sicker and sicker.” Finally, his teeth struck something hard; he could not bite through it. After an examination he discovered a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. We refrain from detailing the further harrowing and nauseating details. The appellant consulted a physician, who testified that appellant exhibited all of the characteristic symptoms of ptomaine poison. The physician examined the toe and identified it as a human toe in a state of putrefaction, and said, in effect, that his condition was caused by the poison generated by the rotten toe.[emphasis added]

I … think … I’m … going … to … be ………sick. So I guess you know what happened to Pillars at the trial court.

Continue reading →

Squeezed on:

By

shooting%20gun%20at%20cans%20shoot%20.jpg
Nothing wrong with shooting at cans with a .22 … unless it’s in the middle of a suburban neighborhood! What kind of dope would do this? This kind, as reported at www.thedestinlog.com:

Two men were arrested Thursday after a homeowner on Pompano Street complained he’d found two bullet holes in his garage door.

That’s a little frightening, but it gets worse.

Continue reading →