Apparently this gent was a real peach on the flight. But that was nothing compared to his antics as he departed the plane. As reported by The Manchester Evening News:
A drunken jet passenger was tasered by police after stripping naked on the airpot tarmac – and challenging the captain to a fight.
The 52-year-old man, who had arrived in Manchester on an easyJet flight from Malta, also urinated up the side of the Terminal One building.
It’ll soon become clear that these neighbors are not on the best of terms. As reported in “Off the Beat” at tcpalm.com:
A man on Sept. 9 told a St. Lucie County Sheriff’s deputy he was taking out his trash when a 60-year-old man who lives across the street started yelling at him and threatened to kill him.
Further, the man said the neighbor, John Solomayar, “walked to the middle of Southwest Airoso Boulevard and took his penis out of his pants and with his hand he shook it at him in a very vulgar manner and shouted, ‘suck it,'” according to a recently released arrest affidavit.
Some people drink. Some people smoke weed. Many folks do both. And then there are those folks who ingest man-made substances of uncertain origins, be it ecstasy, LSD, bath salts or whatever. This The Juice has never understood, because [per The Belleville News-Democrat] something like this can happen to you:
A man has been convicted of using a medieval-looking replica weapon with spikes on it to attack an officer and a woman.
Scott M. Davis Jr., 23, was naked during the April 2012 disturbance. On Saturday, a St. Charles County Circuit Court jury recommended a sentence of 10 years for first-degree assault, five years for armed criminal action and 15 years for assaulting a law enforcement officer.
A witness reported that Davis and two others had been using LSD before police were summoned. Davis also was accused of biting and hitting the officer with a Taser handle.
The officer shot Davis in the leg and arm.
You take an unknown substance, you get an unknown outcome. Here’s the source.
Sure sounds like a good idea – getting together with your brother-in-law to watch the big fight. From the idea stage to the actual event, things went downhill, as you’ll see from this entry in The Colorado Springs Police Department Blotter:
Incident Date: September 15, 2013
Time:1:25:00 AM
Division: Stetson Hills — Shift I
Title: Assault
Location:7865 Chancellor Drive
Officers were dispatched to the above address re. a disturbance. Upon arrival officers learned that after watching a championship boxing match on TV, two intoxicated males engaged in an arguement and one intentionally stabbed his brother-inlaw in his ear with knife. The victim was transported to a local hospital with serious bodily injury but expected to survive.
Ouch!
If you’re thinking “gifts” you would be wrong. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News (which The Juice somehow missed before):
According to the Fort Walton Beach arrest report, the couple was arguing inside of the bathroom of their residence on Windsor Lane on Dec. 8 when the husband asked the woman to leave the room so he could urinate. He threatened to urinate on his wife if she did not leave.
Oh no you didn’t.
She refused and the husband turned toward the wife and urinated on her, according to the report.
Nasty.
The wife shoved the husband and told him to stop several times then began to hit the man on the shoulder causing him to stop.
The man was charged with a misdemeanor domestic violence battery.
Here’s the source.
Old folks like The Juice, especially (and almost exclusively) men, often quote from Animal House. As Dean Wormer said: “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life …” When you look at her mug shot, you’ll see that “fat” doesn’t apply. “Drunk” definitely does. As for “stupid,” judge for yourself. Per The Orlando Sentinel:
An Oviedo Police Department officer who was assisting with security before UCF’s [University of Central Florida] first football game of the season against University of Akron got several reports of a woman urinating inside Parking Garage H.
Uh-oh.
When he went to check it out, he found Kristine Johnson of Sarasota naked from the waist down. She is not a UCF student, university officials said.
If you think she went along quietly …
When police commanded her to pull her shorts back on, she complied, her arrest report said. But throughout the rest of the encounter, police say, Johnson resisted arrest by pushing officers away, picking fights with strangers and yelling and cursing repeatedly.
When she was arrested, officials say, she spit on the doors and walls of her holding cell and cursed and yelled at officers.
Well, someone needs to learn some manners! The charges?
She faces multiple charges, including exposure of sexual organs, disorderly conduct and battery on a law enforcement officer.
Oh, and one more thing. She was banned from UCF! Here’s the source, including a mug shot.
No, this gent didn’t perform this feat with his hands tied behind his back. They were cuffed! As reported by The Highline Times:
King County [Washington] Sheriff’s deputies were called to help Burien officers in a search for a handcuffed man who escaped custody at the Burien courthouse.
Hell, his hands were cuffed behind his back. How far could he get?
He was believed to be driving a white Oldsmobile Alero with a license plate registered to a home in Renton.
Driving?
Deputies went to the address and found the man wasn’t there.
A deputy parked around the corner from the home to watch for the Alero. When the deputy saw the Alero pull into the driveway of the home he activated his emergency lights.
The driver did not comply with the deputies’ order to exit the vehicle but confirmed he was still handcuffed. Deputies said the man had driven about 12 miles between the courthouse and the Renton house without use of his hands in front of him.
Shazam! 12 miles of driving like that? Shazam! Here’s the source.
Maybe she isn’t quite a cougar, which is why The Juice used the word “cougar-esque.” Anyway, it wasn’t your normal hook-up, as reported by The Gainesville Sun:
A Hampton man was arrested on a lewd and lascivious charge on allegations he engaged Tuesday in a sexual act with a drunken woman at a public park on Lake Santa Fe in Melrose.
Ohhh! “Lewd and lascivious.” Tell me more.
Meanwhile, the woman with whom he engaged in the act was so intoxicated she was taken to the hospital and will be charged via a sworn complaint, Alachua County sheriff’s spokesman Art Forgey said.
No, you won’t learn what the “act” was.
The incident occurred about 2:14 p.m. at the park at 25500 Davonia St. An arrest report states the 35-year-old woman, who is from Keystone Heights, was extremely intoxicated and fell off a bench.
Enter our hero …
The 19-year-old man came out of the water to assist the woman, and they engaged in a sexual act that went on for several minutes until someone stopped them, the report states.
Again with the “act”!
Several people were present, and the act was witnessed by a 12-year-old, the report states.
Here’s the source.
Is there anyone who doesn’t know that 911 is just for emergencies? The Juice is guessing this dude knew, but was not deterred from calling it an absurd number of times. What stopped him? As reported by The Santa Cruz Sentinel:
From July 30 to Tuesday, Nathan Jarvie, 33, called 911 to chat with dispatchers and officers about nonemergency things such as dirt, overpopulation and other random things, Watsonville Sgt. Tony Magdayao said.
“It’s pretty common sense that if somebody calls in excess of 100 times, I think it’s time for law enforcement to take action against them,” Magdayao said.
Yikes. So what happened?
Officers arrested Jarvie on Tuesday afternoon on a misdemeanor charge of harassing calls to 911.
You’ll find the source here.
(If you like 911 stories, go to any page on Legal Juice, scroll down and enter “911” in the “Search This Blog” box on the right-hand side.)
How drunk was he? Pretty darned drunk. Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:
Authorities received a call from a Kingston Court homeowner who reported that a man she did not know had walked into her bedroom.
Uh-oh.
Police responded to the home and found [Ryan] Maszczak [35] asleep in a bed, according to a release.
“Maszczak was intoxicated and appeared to have walked into the wrong residence,” police said in the release.
Oops. The charges?
He was arrested [for criminal trespass] and later released on $1,000 personal recognizance bail. He will be arraigned Aug. 9 at the 9th Circuit Court, Merrimack District Division.
Can’t think of a defense for this one, although to be fair to Mr. Maszczak, The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer. You’ll find the source here, complete with a mug shot.
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