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shit
Even those among you who think that words like “shit”are “bad” words should concede that they are okay to use when they are integral to the story.  Somehow “contents of the septic tank” just doesn’t get the point across like “shit” does. Anyway, as reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

Stanley Lee Dixon, 52, of 5153 Carolina Highway, Denmark, pleaded guilty on Monday to littering over 500 pounds.

Circuit Judge Maite Murphy sentenced Dixon to one year of incarceration at the S.C. Department of Corrections, but reduced it to six months of probation.

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trail breadcrumbs bread crumbs candy
Okay so it is vandalism, but it barely register’s on the Vandalometer.  How was he caught? The way many “criminals” are caught, of course – by following the trail of penises! As reported by TheLocal.dk:

A 31-year old man from Aalborg was convicted for a fairly bizarre act of vandalism on Tuesday.

On a visit to the local IKEA in Aalborg, the man had taken one of the store’s wooden pencils and proceeded to casually stroll through the warehouse drawing small penises on the walls and pieces of furniture on display.

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shotgun
You know that when you point a gun in the air and shoot, that the slug will land somewhere, right? This is especially true when you fire a gun inside a building. As reported by The Bismarck Tribune:

A Bismarck man is accused of firing a shotgun into the ceiling of his apartment, nearly striking a woman who was lying in bed in the apartment above his.

Jeffery Royce Jr., 34, was charged in South Central District Court in Burleigh County with felony reckless endangerment and could receive up to five years in prison if convicted.

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united nations building
Sir, your library card! Now! [Shredder sound in the background.] As reported by The Plymouth Herald:

Officers were called to the on campus library around 12pm after a 41-year-old man had reportedly exposed himself to a female library user.

A police spokesperson said: “Police received reports a male had indecently exposed himself to a female library user at Plymouth University.

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boy child car playing
Clearly this gentleman is not a regular Juice reader, or he may not have tried this stunt. (The Juice has posted stories similar to this.)  Sure, being drunk impairs your judgment, but to this degree? As reported by Albany Times Union:

Town police said a Saratoga Springs man had his 10-year-old drive his pick-up truck while he was sitting drunk in the passenger seat.

Stillwater police said they were contacted by someone on Saturday who saw a young child driving a truck on Route 9P. The truck pulled over for police, and it was found that a 10-year-old was driving while his father, John H. Barling, 46, was allegedly intoxicated in the passenger seat. The child was picked up by a family member, and Barling was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor, and permitting unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, a traffic infraction.

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gun handgun shot shooting
First this man gets shot just for going to church? (So he wasn’t exactly just “going to church.”) Then, he gets busted for being in a Burger King? (So it was a little after closing?) As reported by khou.com:

A man [who] was shot and wounded by a church pastor last week after allegedly breaking into a Baytown church is now accused of breaking into a Burger King.

Lee Marvin Blue, 27, was shot in the right shoulder and taken to Memorial Hermann Hospital. Police say that after his surgery, Blue walked out of the hospital.

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ice cream truck
Is it just me, or does it seem like there are a lot of strange ice cream truck driver stories? Here’s another one, as reported by wivb.com:

Last Friday night may have seemed like the prime time for dessert, but those who frequented an ice cream truck in Clarence [New York] met a rude surprise.

Officials say the driver of the truck acted belligerently by yelling at kids, but that wasn’t all parents had to complain about. Police say the driver drove while wearing nothing but his underwear.

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highway
Driving on the interstate can get pretty boring. Not this day. As reported by fosters.com:

A Massachusetts woman was arrested Friday evening after she allegedly “mooned” several drivers on Interstate 93.

Bow police Sgt. William Graham was driving a marked police cruiser northbound on the interstate at approximately 7:35 p.m., when he reported that his attention was drawn to a female passenger in the car in front of him.

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shoplifters shoplifting shoplift
Maybe this guy’s intentions were good, or maybe he saw what he thought was an opportunity to shoot his gun. Regardless, he is now officially in the soup.  As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

It happened in the parking lot of the Kmart on Outer Loop, near New Cut Road, just before 8 p.m. Thursday.

According to an arrest report, police were called to the area after someone reported a shooting. When they arrived, they met with 24-year-old Robert J. Jones, the man police say fired the gun.

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rock paper scissors
Who would think of “rock, paper, scissors” as a gambling game? A Seattle man did (it’s unlikely he will again, at least for a while), and was looking for takers. He found one, and it didn’t end well. As reported by komonews.com:

King County prosecutors claim Michael Langley stabbed at another man after his friend lost a $1 bet on a street corner rock-paper-scissors match. Langley, 36, has been charged with second-degree assault in the June 29 incident.

Prior to the incident, the alleged victim had been soliciting rock-paper-scissors opponents near the intersection of Broadway and East Pike Street in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood.

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