Too many laws are justified, at least in part, on the grounds of promoting the morals of us citizens. Here’s a Minnesota law you can add to that list:
471.924 COUNTY REGULATION OF SECONDHAND AND JUNK DEALERS. Subdivision 1. Authority.
For the purpose of promoting the health, safety, morals, and general welfare of its residents, any county in the state may regulate the activities of secondhand and junk dealers.
Does anyone really believe there’s no such thing as bad publicity? Check out this proposed Missouri law, as reported at fox2now.com:
Courtney Allen Curtis, (D) District 73, introduced a bill to the Missouri House of Representatives that would make the high five the official state greeting.
Yes, that’s right, an official state greeting.
You’ve never been a dog or cat person. No, you have always been drawn to purebred miniature Vietnamese potbellied pigs. But folks in so many places just don’t understand. Well, in Atlantic Beach, Florida, you’ll fit right in. Check out this portion of the municipal code on animals:
Sec. 4-7. Keeping or maintaining certain animals in the city.
(a) It shall be unlawful for any person to keep or maintain horses, mules, cows, cattle, chickens, poultry, or goats in the city, except for in special events, as approved by the city manager.
It’s a big country. And if you live in or near a major metropolitan area, you may forget about places like Newcastle, Wyoming. Now the folks there may be very nice, but if this is any indication, they’re not very open-minded. Check out this law:
Sec. 17-14. – Obscenity—Public appearance in nude; dress not belonging to sex of wearer; indecent exposure; lewd or indecent behavior.
It shall be unlawful for any person to appear in any public place in the city in a state of nudity or in dress not belonging to the sex of such person or in an indecent or lewd dress or to make any indecent exposure of his person or to commit any lewd or indecent act or behavior.
Yes, this is actually on the books in Michigan:
It shall be unlawful for any person to display or permit to be displayed on his or her motor vehicle any emblem or insignia of any organization, association, fraternity, lodge, club or order, unless the owner of such motor vehicle be a member of the organization, association, fraternity, lodge, club or order, the emblem or insignia of which is so displayed: Provided, That the provisions of this act shall not apply to the owner or owners of any motor vehicles upon which such emblem or insignia is displayed solely for the purposes of participation in any public parade, or at any public fair, exhibit, or carnival.
So, maybe it has been declared unconstitutional, and repealed by the House. But it’s still on the books, though not for long. You can read a lot more about the history of this law here.
Why are you trying to rain on my parade? The expression “rain on my [your] parade” is very common and used often, though obviously more so by geezers like The Juice than by the youngsters. Well, for years, Rapid City, South Dakota has had a law that takes a huge bite out of the fun of parades. Here’s the law:
12.20.100 Throwing items from vehicles prohibited.
No person participating in a parade or event shall throw or scatter candy, balloons, pamphlets or any other items from any vehicle, float or other unit onto the street or sidewalk. The items may be distributed by walking persons.
The Juice is confident you will agree that Canton, Ohio needs to loosen the reins a little bit. Check out this law, that is actually on the books:
539.07 PLAYING OF GAMES.
(a) No person shall play any game in any park of the City except such as the Superintendent of Parks designates and upon such portion of the park as the Superintendent designates. (1964 Code §511.08)
(b) Whoever violates this section is guilty of a minor misdemeanor.
Think it’s enforced often? Here’s the source.
The source for today’s Juice? A Change.org petition that came The Juice’s way. No doubt this law will end homosexuality in Alabama… Clearly a class adhering to the requirements of this law cannot be called sex “education.” The law is Section 16-40A-2 of the Alabama Code:
MINIMUM CONTENTS TO BE INCLUDED IN SEX EDUCATION PROGRAM OR CURRICULUM
… (c) Course materials and instruction that relate to sexual education or sexually transmitted diseases should include all of the following elements:
… (8) An emphasis, in a factual manner and from a public health perspective, that homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public and that homosexual conduct is a criminal offense under the laws of the state.
This is just stupid and wrong on so many levels. Who is this “general public” referring to? Not the American public. And “homosexual conduct is a criminal offense”? Sure, some of it is (sodomy). But what about two men holding hands? You can read the full text of this small-minded, bigoted law here.
There’s no shortage of laws out there that need updating. This Mississippi law, which not only outlaws polygamy, but outlaws even teaching about it, is ripe for tweaking.
SEC. 97-29-43. Polygamy; teaching of.
If any person shall teach another the doctrines, principles, or tenets, or any of them, of polygamy; or shall endeavor so to do; or shall induce or persuade another by words or acts, or otherwise, to embrace or adopt polygamy, or to emigrate to any other state, territory, district, or country for the purpose of embracing, adopting, or practicing polygamy, or shall endeavor so to do, he shall, on conviction, be fined not less than twenty-five dollars nor more than five hundred dollars, or be imprisoned in the county jail not less than one month nor more than six months, or both.
The chances that authorities would try to enforce this Massachusetts law? Squadoosh!
Section 36A. Whoever, having arrived at the age of sixteen years, directs any profane, obscene or impure language or slanderous statement at a participant or an official in a sporting event, shall be punished by a fine of not more than fifty dollars.
Here’s the source.
Legal Juice