Articles Posted in Wacky

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Who knew chickens were so into baseball? Some Texas chickens paid the ultimate price just to try to help their team. As reported by The Houston Chronicle:

Fort Worth area police are investigating whether two prep baseball players sacrificed chickens in a bid to improve their games.

Apparently practicing more didn’t occur to them?

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Hmm. A woman convicted of forgery appeared in court to receive her sentence. She asked the judge for a postponement due to health reasons, and presented a doctor’s note. Hmm. As reported by the San Luis Obispo Tribune:

Michelle Elaine Astumian was free on $45,000 bail and pleaded no contest in January to felony counts of forgery and using a fraudulent check.

The 41-year-old woman arrived Monday for sentencing in a San Luis Obispo County courtroom and presented a note with a doctor’s signature asking for a postponement.

The Juice knows what you’re thinking: “hmm.”

Prosecutor Dave Pomeroy called the doctor, who said the note is a forgery.

No! Who would do such a thing?

The judge immediately ordered Astumian into custody and she collapsed to the floor. An ambulance took her to a hospital.

Immediately into custody? So …

Pomeroy [said] … that Astumian will be sentenced later, but he doesn’t know when.

Victory! Sort of? Here’s the source.

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Who knew what “flex” was? Maybe you hipsters, but not The Juice. Anyway, it would seem that one can make some serious jack selling the stuff. As reported by Creative Loafing Atlanta:

Around 2 p.m., police responded to a silent panic alarm at an Armour Drive apartment, and a 30-year-old man came to the door. An officer wrote in his report, “It appeared that [he] was hiding something and attempted to place something in his right pants pocket.” Turns out he was hiding stuff pretty much everywhere. After picking up a search warrant and a drug dog, police reportedly found $20,879 in cash on the kitchen counter, more than $16,000 cash in the right kitchen drawer and $3,954 cash in the left kitchen drawer.

The dog moved to the hallway, and found $32,171 in a computer desk, three bags in a closet stuffed with more than $93,000 cash, a Gucci bag filled with $9,394, and 12 grams of white powdery stuff. The man told police he sells flex, aka fake drugs. An initial test on the powder came back negative. Police gathered up the white stuff and sent it to a lab for more tests.

Total cash police say they found in the apartment: $295,583.

Wow.

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When you think of a crime spree, don’t you think of a string of similar crimes? Irishman
Richard William O’Flynn, in Australia on a 2-year visa, defied convention with his spree. As reported by livenews.com.au:

His most bizarre act was to take a goldfish into a Ticketek office in the CBD and demand money so he could pay for food to feed it.

On another occasion he and a male friend got drunk and entered a cake store, where he demanded a “gay cake” for their “gay wedding”. O’Flynn then picked up a cake decorating knife and threatened the assistant, asking for money. When she told him she would call the police, he and his friend left the store, the court was told.

O’Flynn… also pleaded guilty to wilful damage for kicking a car during an argument in Bundaberg.

And finally,

He also pleaded guilty to using [the telephone] to menace, harass or cause offence after repeatedly calling a real estate agent and abusing her because she left a flyer in his mailbox.

We all hate those flyers, but seriously dude, recycle, don’t hate. What is Mr. O’Flynn’s fate? His guilty pleas were met with a sentence of “12 months [in] jail suspended after 80 days, which he has already served in pre-sentence custody.” A few parting words from the Judge:

Judge Griffin described O’Flynn’s behaviour as “disgraceful” and said Australia would be better off without him. [O’Flynn is returning to Ireland at the end of the month.]

“We will all be altogether pleased to see you go,” Judge Griffin said.

Really, is that any way to treat a guest in your country?

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The Juice has shared many “911” stories over the years. (Click here for all Juice posts with “911.”) This one is clearly “top 5” material. As reported by The Sandusky Register (Ohio):

Officers responded to the 100 block of E. Water St. at 3:17 a.m., where several bar patrons had been arguing. Police told Joseph A. Walsh, 26, to calm down and leave the area.

And of course Mr. Walsh … didn’t.

Walsh started to get into a vehicle with some friends to leave, but then began arguing with one of the men and shoved him, police said.

Police arrested Walsh for persistent disorderly conduct. While taking him into custody, officers said Walsh was unsteady on his feet, had bloodshot eyes and slurred speech.

Officers also found a rolled $20 bill containing suspected cocaine residue on it in Walsh’s front pocket.

Having clearly done nothing wrong …

Walsh became belligerent with officers while en route to the police department, so they placed Walsh in a holding cell, but he screamed and pounded on the door, refusing to settle down, they said.

Police then handcuffed Walsh to the holding-cell door to keep him from hurting himself or damaging department property.

Apparently that was the final straw for Mr. Walsh.

… while officers completed charges against Walsh, he managed to take out his cell phone and call 911 to complain that he was being held against his will.

Brilliant!

Police took the phone and served Walsh with charges of possession of cocaine, persistent disorderly conduct and misuse of 911. He was booked into the Erie County Jail.

Doh! Here’s the source.

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“We just robbed the Chicken Shack! We just robbed the Chicken Shack!” Okay, so these Lakeland, Florida perps didn’t actually yell that out, but they might as well have. As reported by wtsp.com:

Tuesday morning, Officers Tony Williams and David Kaiser responded to reports of a burglary at the Chicken Shack located at 813 West Memorial Blvd. When police showed up, they found the business had been robbed of t-shirts, beer and other property.

A witness who called in the burglary also reported seeing two men running from the store and was able to give a description of the men. A short time later, and not very far away, the officers spotted 35-year-old Chad Berrien and 31-year-old Rickey Wright.

You’ll recall that they stole some t-shirts. Yup …

Police say Berrien and Wright were both wearing Chicken Shack t-shirts and had several more in a bag. The suspects also still had some of the stolen beer minus what they had already drank.

They were drinking? No way.

Both men are charged with burglary and grand theft.

Here’s the source, including mug shots.