Articles Posted in Wacky

So the Largo, Florida police respond to a call about a problem at a bar, and they find Dana Shelton. But there’s no problem, and they tell Shelton to move along. Unless you are completely plastered, you realize this is a good thing. Not Shelton. He called 911 – the Largo police – to report that he was “surrounded by Largo police.” A definite head-scratcher. Said Largo Sgt. Melanie Holley:

Our officers were standing there scratching their heads. He called, standing there in their presence. It’s one of our ‘truth is stranger than fiction’ cases.

Just like I said, an official “head-scratcher.” Shelton got hit with misuse of 911, a misdemeanor. Thanks to Mr. Shelton for providing today’s Juice!

The Juice thanks Cindy Hill for submitting this story.

If you go into the right bathroom in Japan, you will find an envelope with a note and a 10,000 yen ($81 US) note. So far, the “mystery lavatory man” has left such a gift in 425 bathrooms throughout government offices across Japan. The reason is unknown, although the notes provide a clue:

Enclosed is a gift of ¥10,000. Please use this for your ascetic training and devote yourself to good deeds, keeping a pure heart and not holding evil thoughts in your precious human heart.

Unfortunately for the mystery man, the money is not being spent that way. Authorities believe all of the money has been turned over to them. If the money isn’t claimed, it goes to the municipality where it was found.

Kathryn Smith, 49, of Connecticut, had been dating Stephen Schnell for about 4 years. Schnell knew Smith and her 20-year-old son Nicholas Taylor were not doing too well, so he often gave her cash, took the two of them out to dinner, and bought Smith cigarettes. How did Smith and her son repay him? By hiring a hit man to kill him!

The crazy thing (aside from the fact that the up-front payment to the hit man was $50!) is that Smith somehow thought she would get $100,000 from Schnell’s retirement plan – which he didn’t even have! Fortunately, the would-be hit man, an old flame of Smith’s, went straight to the police. Smith pled guilty to conspiracy to commit murder. Her son entered an Alford plea (a weasel’s way of pleading guilty).

How does Schnell feel about his former girlfriend? “I’m pushing for the 12 [years – the maximum sentence]; she deserves it. For everything I did for her and for her to do that to me, she deserves every day. Sentencing will take place in August.

Guantanamo has nothing on Send Prison in Surrey, England. Maybe these prisoners have legal rights. Maybe they were actually charged with crimes (and convicted too!). And maybe people actually know they are behind bars, but, brace yourself, this prison bans sex toys! One female prisoner, who desperately wants her Rampant Rabbit vibrator (she claims she’s a “sex addict”), refuses to accept the status quo. She claims the policy discriminates against heterosexuals. Here’s what she said in a letter to the prison governor:

Homosexual acts of every kind are carried out blatantly yet are disregarded by officers. It is openly condoned. If the Prison Service has a duty of care, how come any request for sex-related essentials such as a harmless dildo for stimulation has been termed ridiculous?

Now this may sound a little crazy, but you have to consider that 200 junkies who were not allowed to take heroin in jail were recently awarded £749,000 ($1.5 million U.S.)! Click here to read more.

A mom in Lincoln, Nebraska went a bit too far. She drove her 12-year-old and 6 other kids (3 who are 12,and 3 who are 13) to a 7th grade English teacher’s house, which they proceeded to TRASH as follows:

Using toilet paper, syrup, adhesive tape, dishwashing soap and eggs, they vandalized her house, yard, trees and driveway.

Wow. Must have stopped at the grocery store on the way. For her troubles, mom was cited for suspicion of contributing to the delinquency of minors.

Why was Martin Rodrigues, age 37, held in jail? Because he asked a young girl to walk on his jacket and leave her footprints on it. The alleged crime? Inciting a child to engage in sexual activity. The problem? The Judge said what Rodrigues had done was not “sexual activity” under the Sexual Offences Act (doh!), so he tossed the case.

However, pursuant to a prior court order, Rodrigues may not take pictures of girls feet. Seems he was pestering children while attempting to photograph their feet in a local park. Perhaps some counseling might be in order? You can read more here.

/>Not by a long shot. First of all, Raymundo Flores was charging $5 and $10 for his merchandise. Actually the price is probably about right – FOR POT! Mr. Flores, an illegal immigrant from Mexico, was charged with selling $5 and $10 bags of marijuana to 3rd, 4th and 5th graders in Mission, Texas. Said police chief Leo Longoria, “It’s a scary thought, but that’s the info we received.” Probably pretty good info too, since bags of marijuana were found in the truck with the ice cream.

Yes, that includes high-fives, handshakes, a pat on the back, and hugging (no matter how brief). Them’s the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna (Fairfax County) Virginia. Per Principal Deborah Hernandez of the zero tolerance policy for physical contact: “You get into shades of gray. The kids say, ‘If he can high-five, then I can do this.’ ” Please, Ms. Hernandez. That’s a cop-out, and you know it. It’s just easier to say “no physical contact” than it is to draft a reasonable rule.

To read more about this silly rule, and the silly justifications, click here.

It’s obvious that some people, like Principal Ethna Haines, get carried away with their power. Fortunately, the legislative branch is there to keep them in check. The Havant Borough Council has totally BUSTED this crazed megalomaniac – for painting her school to yellow! Before taking this bold stance against colorfulness, people used to ask of the Council, “Haven’t they got anything better to do?” Now we know that they do. This!

Of her outrageous decision to paint a school for 2-9 year-olds yellow, Ms. Haines said: “Other parts of our building are already painted yellow and we use the colour to make the school a bright, positive experience for small children.” Said the contractor who defiled the school: “I think the colour really brightens the whole place up and the children love it.”

Thank goodness for the voice of reason, the Council. Per Council officer Sarah Hain: “The bright yellow colour for the walls seriously detracts from the character and appearance of the conservation area and adversely affects the outlook of neighbouring occupiers.” Mercy! By a vote of 7-5, the Council agreed. Ms. Haines has 4 months to change the color to a dark-stained timber. “Pish,” she said. [not really, but she should have.] She did say that she’s going to appeal the decision, and has no plans to paint the school a darker color. Here’s hoping she wins. To see the school, click here.