Articles Posted in Wacky

Per the St. Petersburg Times:

To prove he’s incompetent to stand trial on multiple felony charges, Robert Sinclaire Lee hid a razor in his mouth and used it to cut his wrist in court.

He smeared feces on his face.

And Monday, he entered a courtroom with feces hidden in his jail jacket pocket.

Did it work? Nope. Why not? Well, among other evidence of malingering,

Prosecutors also have jail phone call recordings on which Lee laughs about acting “crazy.”

Who knew that prisoner’s phone calls were monitored, other than EVERYONE (except Lee)? To read more, click here.

As reported in the City News:

It is a tale that could only happen in the age of the Internet and it’s become the focus of worldwide attention. A German woman has won a court battle to force an Internet service provider to reveal the names of the men who may have gotten her pregnant. That’s unusual enough, but the circumstances surrounding this case are even more bizarre.

She doesn’t know who the guy is because the six men on the ‘possibility list’ all won the chance to have intimate relations with her as part of an Internet auction. The Stuttgart woman offered up her services to the highest bidders in April and May of last year. She only knew the ‘winners’ by their screen names.

When she found out she was expecting, she decided she had to know the father’s name. But when the ISP refused to provide their identities, the reluctant mother-to-be took legal action. “The woman wanted to discover which one of the men had made her pregnant,” a court spokesman explains. “So she needed their contact details.”

After hashing out the arguments, a judge has now ruled that it’s the child’s right to know who the real dad is and that the Internet provider must give her the names of the men involved.

But this legal battle is far from over. Once she learns their I.D.s, there’s no indication whether the men involved will cooperate with her search. And that may take her back before yet another judge. “If they’re not willing to go along with the gene test, she’ll have to take them to court,” the spokesman admits.

Sixty-one-year-old Janusz Nowak of Sosnowiec, Poland was sick and tired of people vandalizing his bus stop. So, he pasted the following notice on the pavement:

“Dear Vandals – please stop destroying the bus-stop.”

And guess what happened? He was arrested for vandalism!

A police spokesman said: “Although the man had good intentions and wanted to express his indignation towards hooligans’ behaviour in the neighbourhood he unfortunately broke the law himself.”

What a brilliant use of police resources. Here’s the story.

Ah yes, the happy couple. James McManus and Corina McCarthy became engaged in December 2005, and they lived… Actually, she dumped him, and returned the “relatively expensive” engagement ring. She changed her mind, again, and they got engaged, again, with the same ring. Then she dumped him, again. Mr. McManus took quite a hit [$!] when he sold the ring.

Ms. McCarthy changed her mind (altogether now) again, leading to their third engagement. This time, though, Mr. McManus ended it. As reported in The Leader-Post, “he cancelled the engagement and ring [while it was being made] and had to pay for the work already done.” Okay. You took another hit, Jimmy, but it’s only money. You can move on, right?

Nope. They became engaged, again! (Nooooooooo!) And they actually got married! And lived happily ever after? No, they were married for nine days! What about the ring? Ms. McCarthy wouldn’t give it back. So Mr. McManus sued her – and the testimony?

McManus said McCarthy would not marry him unless he purchased another ring. He said he made it clear on at least three occasions that the ring was to be returned to him in the event their relationship ended. She denied any such discussion took place.

What did Justice Kenny think?

“While this would seem to be a very unusual conversation for engaged parties to have leading up to their marriage, it does not at all strike me as strange in the circumstances of this case and given the history of this very volatile up-and-down relationship.”

And then they found out they were twins, separated at birth. [Just kidding. You can read about that one here.]

True. As reported in The Knox County Times, Camden-Rockport Middle School in New Jersey has banned farting, apparently due to a bunch of superfarting eighth-graders. This is from the Fire Cracker, the school’s newsletter:

Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS. It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!

A few questions: (1) If the noise emanates from a group of kids, how will the Fart Monitor know who uncorked it? (2) Will the teacher supervising the detention get time-and-a-half? A clothes pin? Hey Principal Libby, lighten up. It’s just a phase! You can read more (just a little) here.

New Yorker John McDonald was charged with second-degree assault for attacking a cab driver in Aspen, Colorado. Why? Apparently he was pissed because the cabbie wouldn’t take him somewhere to buy cigarettes. So, said the cabbie, McDonald popped him in the face, breaking at least one bone. (What, that’s a crime?) When McDonald was charged, bail was set at $5,000. He posted it, and left.

Fast forward to January 15th. Per The Aspen Times:

McDonald, who rode a Greyhound bus from New York to Aspen for his court hearing, told District Judge James Boyd that he was broke and needed the $5,000 bond money he put up to get out of jail. Boyd checked repeatedly with McDonald to make sure the suspect knew he was going to be taken into custody.

Here’s the prosecutor’s explanation:

“I’ve never seen it because most people don’t want to go to jail,” Deputy District Attorney Gail Nichols said. “But obviously he doesn’t mind. Essentially he’s revoking his own bond, and hey, why not? Now he has a place to live.”

Such a great place, too. Who wouldn’t revoke their own bond just for the 3 squares? Here’s the rest of the article.

Here’s a wacky story from Patna, India:

Villagers at a wedding in eastern India decided the groom had arrived too drunk to get married, and so the bride married the groom’s more sober brother instead, police said.

“The groom was drunk and had reportedly misbehaved with guests when the bride’s family and local villagers chased him away,” Madho Singh, a senior police officer, told Reuters.

The younger brother readily agreed to take the groom’s place beside the teenage bride at her family’s invitation, witnesses said.

“The groom apologized for his behavior, but has been crying that word will spread and he will never get a bride again,” Singh said by phone.

If you’re David Binner of Doylestown, PA, the answer is:

Go Fuck Yourself.

Who knew there was still a place that issues $5 parking tickets? Now David, did you really think that would just slide right through? It didn’t. The police chief deemed it obscene and charged David with disorderly conduct. So what happened? David apologized, and the charges were withdrawn. And what would have happened if the case went to trial? According to Keith Williams, David’s lawyer, they would have won. As reported in The Intelligencer:

It is possible, as demonstrated by a pair of Norwegian vandals. As reported in the Fayetteville Observer:

[The vandals]overlooked a small but crucial detail when they started smashing up a train station elevator: They were inside it.

And the elevator at the Lillestroem Train Station, north of Oslo, appeared to be the vengeful sort, sealing its doors and holding the two for the police.

“Vandalism is always sad, but a lot of people do see the humor in this,” said Ellen Svendsvoll, of the National Rail Administration. “They got what was coming to them.”

The two vandals, identified only as men in their early 20s, went into the elevator late on April 21, waited for the doors to close, and started to kick them, she said. They kicked so hard that the doors jammed, and the elevator stopped, sending an alarm to security guards. The guards tried to lower the elevator, which only jammed the doors more, so they called the police and fire department.

The firemen freed the two suspects, while the police waited outside.