Articles Posted in Wacky

It’s easy to play Monday-morning bird smuggler. But do you have any better ideas? From the L.A. Now blog (by Scott Glover) of the Los Angeles Times:

A man who allegedly flew from Vietnam to Los Angeles with 14 live birds hidden in his pants was one of two men indicted on smuggling-related charges today by a federal grand jury in Los Angeles.

Duc Le, 34, and Sony Dong, 46, are charged in an eight-count indictment with conspiring to smuggle dozens of birds into the United States, including red-whiskered bulbuls, magpie robins and shama thrushes.

Both men were arrested last month after investigators determined that Dong had 14 birds fastened to pieces of cloth around his calves, said Asst. U.S. Atty. Mark Williams. A subsequent search revealed dozens more illicit birds, officials said.

The photo is from the U.S. Attorney’s office.

It’s 4:30 a.m. in Lincoln, Nebraska, and this guy needed some cigarettes. He was probably drunk (from drinking Bud Light.) Why would I guess that he was drinking Bud Light? Well sir, as reported by the Lincoln Journal Star:

A man who robbed a north Lincoln Kwik Shop on Monday morning brought a disguise — he was wearing a Bud Light box on his head.

The man had a green rag wrapped around his hand, implying he had a weapon, when he entered the store at 4400 Cornhusker Highway around 4:30 a.m. He made off with nine packs of Newport cigarettes, valued at nearly $50, police Capt. Bob Kawamoto said.

A truly wacky – and at least for now unsolved – crime. Here’s the source.

No, it’s not the “give us cash to protect yourself from us” kind of protection. Without even being there, Chuck Norris has singlehandedly ended a series of break-ins at a bakery in Split, Croatia. From the Croatian Times:

Store bosses have seen off burglars by placing a life-sized photo of Hollywood action star Chuck Norris in the window.

The posh bakery shop in Split, Croatia, had often been broken until they put up the poster of the karate champ with a sign saying: “This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris.”

Sure, everyone has either heard about, or engaged in, a love tumble in a strange place or two. But, as Maxwell Smart often said to the Chief, “would you believe” a couple in British Columbia was caught having sex IN A GARBAGE TRUCK!? As reported in the Courier Mail, there were ” … reports of people walking suspiciously behind a business …”

“When the officer was out of his car having a look around, checking doors he could hear noises coming from the dumpster,” said Sgt. John Price.

The officer called out and got no response, so he pulled out his flashlight and took a look inside.

“He peeked over the edge and in the bottom of the dumpster, a man and a woman (were) full-on nude, intertwined, oblivious to his presence,” Price said, confirming the pair were in the act.

Since they were having sex in a garbage truck, I guess it’s not surprising that they didn’t notice the police officer. The dude was “taken into custody on an unrelated outstanding warrant.” The “30-year-old woman was simply told to go home.”

I think this dog skipped a lot of classes at the Police K-9 Academy…

A motorized barstool! Think about it. You hop on it at home, drive right into (and up to) the bar, down a few, then drive back home. Brilliant! The proud owner, Kile Wygle, said it can go 38 mph! Luckily for him, he was “only” going 20 mph when he crashed. Unluckily, he was busted for “driving” under the influence (and with a suspended license!). And, as reported by News Talk 610 WTVN:

Wygle was treated for minor injuries at Licking Memorial Hospital where he joked with Trotter about drinking 15 beers before the crash. He refused the blood-alcohol test.

Click here to see a picture of the stoolmobile.

The headline from the story by WXYZ in Detroit sums it up nicely: “Teacher By Day, Inmate By Night.” For 30 days anyway, when Mr. Donald Colpaert is not teaching social studies to middle schoolers in Macomb County, he’s in jail. Here’s an exchange between WXYZ reporter Heather Catallo and Mr. Colpaert:

“I’m wondering why you’re still teaching if you’re in jail? I’m not in jail. I’m bringing lunch for my friends. No, you’re going back to your work release position. How can you be a role model for your students? Are you familiar with what’s going on at all with the case? Why don’t you tell us? I don’t really feel like explaining it. The court’s done a pretty good job of that.”

Alrighty then.

According to court records, the secretary says Colpaert started harassing her husband with phone calls and text messages after she decided to patch up her marriage.

During a hearing to obtain personal protection orders against Colpaert – the secretary and her husband submitted several of Colpaert’s email messages to Macomb County Judge Ed Servitto.

In one from October – Colpaert writes to another school co-worker about what he was allegedly planning to do at a party that the secretary was going to attend with her husband. One message states: “me and some of my friends will be waiting outside.” and “the s**t is definitely gonna hit the fan.” In another message Colpaert allegedly told the party hostess “I cant [sic] and WILL NOT promise that nothing will go down at your house.”

As for the text messages that Colpaert allegedly sent to the secretary’s husband – they’re so obscene we can not describe them on television.

Damn it! The Juice is not fond of censorship. Anyway, here’s how Mr. Colpaert ended up in jail:

When the judge granted the PPOs for the school secretary and her husband, according to the hearing transcript, he had some strong words for the teacher. Judge Servitto said “I can’t believe you’re an educator.” He also told Colpaert: “I don’t know that you should be a teacher. I don’t know. It just amazes me”

What’s truly amazing is that Donald Colpaert violated the PPO within minutes of leaving Servitto’s courtroom.

According to police reports, in the court hallway– Colpaert told the secretary’s husband, “we could have settled this man to man, it’s on now, it’s on.”

After those comments – a judge sent Colpaert to jail for 30 days for violating the PPO.

So it’s definitely “on,” with the “it” being the pokey, not an asskicking. How does tenure fit into the equation?

The Van Dyke Public School District did suspend Donald Colpaert for 3 days without pay for violating a directive they had given him to stop contacting the secretary. An attorney for the district tells Action News at this point, that’s the highest level of punishment that can be leveled against a tenured teacher.

Time to take a long, hard look at those tenure provisions …

When you think of a crime spree, don’t you think of a string of similar crimes? Irishman
Richard William O’Flynn, in Australia on a 2-year visa, defied convention with his spree. As reported by livenews.com.au:

His most bizarre act was to take a goldfish into a Ticketek office in the CBD and demand money so he could pay for food to feed it.

On another occasion he and a male friend got drunk and entered a cake store, where he demanded a “gay cake” for their “gay wedding”. O’Flynn then picked up a cake decorating knife and threatened the assistant, asking for money. When she told him she would call the police, he and his friend left the store, the court was told.

O’Flynn… also pleaded guilty to wilful damage for kicking a car during an argument in Bundaberg.

And finally,

He also pleaded guilty to using [the telephone] to menace, harass or cause offence after repeatedly calling a real estate agent and abusing her because she left a flyer in his mailbox.

We all hate those flyers, but seriously dude, recycle, don’t hate. What is Mr. O’Flynn’s fate? His guilty pleas were met with a sentence of “12 months [in] jail suspended after 80 days, which he has already served in pre-sentence custody.” A few parting words from the Judge:

Judge Griffin described O’Flynn’s behaviour as “disgraceful” and said Australia would be better off without him. [O’Flynn is returning to Ireland at the end of the month.]

“We will all be altogether pleased to see you go,” Judge Griffin said.

Really, is that any way to treat a guest in your country?

For offenses involving socks, two British men were sentenced to 18 months in jail (for “conspiring to commit acts of gross indecency”), and put on the sex offenders’ registry for 10 years. Really. Per The Southport Visiter:

Two men swindled hundreds of people in Southport out of their socks back in the 1990s.

How do you “swindle” folks out of socks?

Claiming to be collecting the socks for good causes, the men approached unsuspecting victims in the resort’s bars and clubs and paid revellers up to £5 for their footwear.

Creepy.

They made sure to take pictures of the victims with their socks and then meticulously tagged each pair with the donor’s name before wrapping them in sandwich bags.

Creepier. Guess what the police found at one of the dude’s flat?

… 4,000 pairs in binbags in a cupboard. Officers described their astonishment when they found they had to wade through an 18 inch deep “carpet” of smelly socks. “They were everywhere and anywhere,” an officer said.

“They were all over the furniture, hanging from lampshades and even in the microwave, frying pan and cooker.”

“It was like there had been an explosion in a sock factory and socks had blown all over the place. In my 25 years with the police I have never seen anything like it.”

Here’s the source.