Articles Posted in Wacky

We don’t know if there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe. And it seems unlikely that we’ll find out by installing software on our computers to detect the presence of aliens. But that is precisely what the former director of IT for the Higley Unified School District in Arizona is accused of doing. As reported by abc15.com (Phoenix, AZ) …

Brad Niesluchowski …has resigned [after being given a notice of termination in October, per Superintendent Denise Birdwell] amidst an investigation that he installed software to spy for aliens on school computers.

Dr. Birdwell said Niesluchowski installed the software program SETI@home on nearly 5,000 HUSD computers. SETI stands for the “Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence.”

And?

Birdwell said the program caused the district’s computers to run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

That’s a lot of juice, no? Yes.

The district estimates during the 9 years of Niesluchowski’s employment, he cost the district as much as $1.6 million in electricity, bandwith and the diminished life expectancy of computers.

Costly and odd, but criminal?

Birdwell said the district is working with Gilbert Police as part of a criminal investigation.

The Juice is down with restitution, not prosecution.

This Ohio bank robbery suspect was much more alert than the police officers who were dutifully searching him as he was face down on the hood of a car. So how did he get rid of what was likely the note he used when he allegedly robbed a bank? He ate it! Check it out:

As reported at Ohio.com:

Twinsburg police Patrolman Daniel Biada said a dash cam video of Thursday’s arrest of John H. Ford, 35, of Cleveland, shows Ford gobbling a piece of paper while officers searched his pockets.

”As we’re searching him, officers are removing items and throwing them on the cruiser [hood],” Biada said. ”We’re searching him for weapons. We’re not looking at his head.”

Twinsburg police reviewed the images captured on camera and said they observed Ford leaning over to eat something off the hood of the cruiser.

”He grabbed it in his mouth, just like Pacman,” Biada said. ”He just ate it right there.”

Notwithstanding his quick thinking, it’s not looking too good for Pacman.

Authorities said they found a .38-caliber pistol on the driver’s side floor of Ford’s car and a wad of cash covered in red ink on the passenger side of the vehicle.

Ford is also a suspect in bank robberies in Stow and Akron.

Suggestion: Don’t hold Mr. Ford anywhere near the evidence room.

This story is truly wacky. First, you have a Proctor, Minnesota man who took a La-Z-Boy chair and put a lawnmower motor in it, and a steering wheel. Per the Duluth News Tribune, “It has a stereo, cup holders and other custom options, including different power levels.” All tricked out and no place to go? Not exactly. Dennis LeRoy Anderson (62!) took his chair out on the town. And got lit. Then he took to the streets – and crashed into a parked car! How drunk was he? Really, really drunk (.29). Oh, and …

He has one prior DWI conviction.

Doh! In fairness, I should mention that Mr. Anderson offered an explanation for the accident:

Anderson claimed he was driving the chair fine until a woman jumped on it and knocked the chair off course.

Curse you woman! You know the crime (he pleaded guilty). The time?

Judge Heather Sweetland sentenced Anderson to 180 days in the St. Louis County Jail or at the Northeast Regional Corrections Center and fined him $2,000 plus court fees. She stayed the jail time and one-half of the fine for two years of supervised probation. As conditions of his probation, Anderson must submit to a chemical dependency assessment, follow all recommendations, abstain from alcohol and unprescribed drugs, be subject to random testing and undergo 30 days of electronic monitoring.

Here’s the source.

So this 46-year-old woman in Florida had a boyfriend for about a year. Then she had to, um, go away for a little while (to jail). Well, really, did you expect her boyfriend to just sit around and wait? When his girlfriend’s 25-year-old daughter was there? They didn’t wait. Seems they got real close when mom was in jail. That worked out okay, until mom got out of jail, and moved backed into the family home. Snap!

As reported in The Orlando Sentinel, both mom and daughter were involved with boyfriend. Apparently this didn’t sit too well with mom.

Johnson [the mom] told officers that after they left she went to go to bed, but her daughter “struck her with a closed fist on the forehead because she was jealous,” according to her arrest affidavit.

Of course the Juice would never condone vandalism, but … how about that artwork! No doubt the City of Ottawa will think twice before installing a sign with an empty panel. A skilled vandal took the opportunity to fill that empty panel with … well … look at the picture above and figure it out for yourself.

Talk about chutzpah. Check out this burglary, as reported by Sweden’s “The Local” and “Helsingborgs Dagblad”

A thief in southern Sweden took time off during a weekend break-in to surf pornographic websites on a company computer … local newspaper Helsingborgs Dagblad reports.

Here comes the real chutzpah:

Already faced with the prospect of having to procure a new welding machine, the owner also suffered the indignity of being called out for lax sweeping procedures. A message on the company’s computer screen spelled out the burglar’s considered opinion:

“You need to clean up. Regards, Thief.”

Did they catch “Thief?”

Police have so far been unsuccessful in their attempts to track down the hygiene-conscious bandit.

This story is wacky for 2 reasons: it involves a robbery due to some bad beef jerky, and the alleged robber works 2 doors down from the scene of the crime! As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer:

Police say a Cleveland barber got so upset by what he considered bad beef jerky that he returned to the store where he bought it and tried to rob the owner.

Police say the 28-year-old barber walked into the store where he bought the snack, just two doors down from his barbershop, and tried to rob the owner Thursday night.

The owner told the man he recognized him and chased him outside with a baseball bat.

The first police officer who arrived on the scene was also familiar with the barber because he cuts the officer’s hair.

Police arrested the man at his girlfriend’s house a few miles away.

The barber told police the stick of beef jerky he bought sickened him and his dog.

That’s exactly why I give it to my dog first … (I’m kidding! I don’t have a dog. Unfortunately, my cats don’t like beef jerky …)