Articles Posted in Wacky

Squeezed on:

By

vampire.jpg

This is really gross and weird. Who likes sucking blood so much that he would do it for 2-3 minutes? Why would you let someone do that? As reported by The Arizona Republic:

A vampire-crazed man was sentenced Monday to three years probation for stabbing a friend who had refused to let him suck his blood.

Some “friend” he turned out to be …

[Aaron] Homer [age 24] stabbed the arm of Robert Maley, 25, of Chandler on Oct. 4 after Maley refused to let him suck his blood a second time, the police report said.

Maley had let Homer suck his blood before, but only because Homer was threatening to cut his ex-girlfriend or her friend. Homer sucked his blood for two to three minutes that time.

Two to three minutes!

On Oct. 4, Homer was demanding to suck his blood a second time.

“I said no, and he flipped,” Maley told police. “He said, ‘I’m doing it,’ and then boom . . . he stabbed me.”

Maley fled from Homer’s apartment on the 600 block of North Alma School Road, leaving a trail of blood in addition to fake blood that Homer or his girlfriend, Amanda Williamson, 21, had spread on the floor, according to the police report.

“They think they are vampires,” said Maley of Homer and Williamson. The pair, he said, are also into paganism.

Homer later admitted to police he stabbed Maley because he was making fun of their “religion.”

How do you get no jail time after admitting that you stabbed someone? Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

dress%20code.jpg
There’s a dress code at the mall? At least at the Quaker Bridge Mall in Trenton, New Jersey there is. And in case you think the saggy pants looks is a male thing, think again. As reported by The Lawrenceville Patch:

Ashley L. Diggs, 24, of the 800 block of East State Street in Trenton, was charged with disorderly conduct after she allegedly refused to pull her pants up inside Quaker Bridge Mall, according to Edgar.

Diggs was reportedly walking around the mall, in the 3300 block of Brunswick Pike (Route 1), about 6 p.m. Saturday with her underwear visible, Edgar said. He said mall security officers approached Diggs, advised her of the mall’s dress code, and asked her to “pull her pants up.”

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

joseph%20florence.jpeg

Next time you want to do something nice for a neighbor, think about this story, and then do it anyway. Because there can’t be a lot of neighbors with this particular dynamic … As reported by wftv.com:

Authorities said Joseph Florence was upset with how his neighbor’s yard looked, so he decided to water it. His neighbor called police.

Calling the cops? An overreaction, perhaps? Now that we’re talking about overreactions, how did Mr. Florence respond when the police arrived?

Police said when they arrived and tried to arrest Florence for trespassing, there was a struggle and he punched and choked the officers.

No! Bad move. [See above.]

The officers were not seriously hurt, but Florence ended up with two black eyes.

Florence was arrested and charged with battery to a law enforcement officer, assault on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence, depriving an officer of communication, and resisting an officer without violence. Florence was taken to the Polk County jail.

The Juice has a feeling that won’t be the end of it. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

airplane%20plane%20flying%20clouds.jpg

You find out your husband is cheating on you. You fly from the east coast to Chicago, and this is the best you can do? As reported by www.triblocal.com:

A wife flew to Chicago and cut the crotches out of the pants of a woman who was vacationing with her Wilmette husband, police said.

That’s it? Actually there was one more thing …

[she] put [the clothes] in a suitcase and left it in the home’s driveway, she told investigators.

Based on the backstory, the gent is fortunate that’s all she did with the scissors.

Reached later by telephone, the man’s wife allegedly acknowledged to Wilmette police that she had damaged the clothing — and that the two are still married, talk on the telephone several times per day, and have lived separately because of their work situations.

The woman said her husband told her he was traveling to a business conference, but she became enraged when she discovered he was vacationing in the Caribbean with another woman, the report states.

Surely the husband admitted to the affair? Well …

The man told police the woman was just a friend and was visiting him from Turkey. She declined to press charges over the damage. The man also told police that he was separated, though not divorced, from his wife, who lives out of state.

Plausible, but …

She told investigators she flew from the East Coast to O’Hare Airport on March 4, took a cab to the Wilmette home she still co-owns with her husband, and was shocked to find that her husband “had hidden everything that would reveal he was married.”

Just sayin’, it doesn’t look too good for the husband. So, the charges?

Since the woman whose clothes were destroyed refused to sign a criminal complaint, no charges were filed and the case is considered closed.

Hmmm. Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWzqwvhF_N8

If you’re short on time, skip a bunch of the f-bombs and go to the 2:13 mark. The guy’s reaction upon learning the amount of the ticket is something to behold. And you won’t find a cooler cop – anywhere. Of course, that just makes the guy angrier.

Squeezed on:

By

busted.jpg

A frog? Forget about the mechanics of it (if you can). How can someone possibly derive sexual pleasure watching a woman and a frog? At least one gent did, as reported by The Sun:

Michael Hall, 46 — who is also a school governor and worked on a council panel to protect children — downloaded the disgusting images on to his laptop computer.

When police raided his home they found 230 photos and 150 videos showing women engaging in sex acts with horses, a donkey, dogs, a gerbil, a frog and a live snake.

Police acted on a tip-off after learning the magistrate, from Rotherham, South Yorks, had an account on a file-sharing website which was raising concerns.

Guess those animal fetishists aren’t the most loyal bunch. Maybe they coveted the same frog.

They found the filthy porn stash when they raided his home in Swinton, Rotherham, last September.

Hall admitted 21 specimen charges of possessing hard-core pornography when he appeared before Leeds magistrates.

Jail time? Nope.

He was sentenced to a three-year community order which requires him to spend 144 days completing a programme for sex offenders.

Can you imagine when, during group therapy, this dude has to stand up and say “I’m Michael, and I love frogs, gerbils, dogs, donkeys …” You can read more [a fair amount] here.

Squeezed on:

By

toilet%20paper%20funny%20bush%20political.jpg

A Texas Inmate named George Morgan filed a habeas petition, which the state moved to dismiss. This didn’t sit well with Mr. Morgan. So he wrote a note to assistant U.S. attorney Susan San Miguel on toilet paper. What did the note say? As reported by Courthouse News Service:

“Dear Susan, Please use this to wipe your ass, that argument was a bunch of shit! You[rs] Truly, George Morgan.”

Ba da bing. Ba da boom.

One of Miguel’s co-workers returned the note to the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, where Morgan is incarcerated.

And?

Morgan was charged with using vulgar language and was punished with a loss of 15 days of credit earned for good behavior.

Morgan appealed, arguing that the punishment violated his right to free speech. And he … lost.

Judge Jolly acknowledged that prisoners have certain First Amendment rights, but said those rights are restricted by the state’s interest in rehabilitating the prisoner.

“Morgan’s note demonstrated a completely unjustified disrespect for authority, expressed in the most unacceptably vulgar form, which would be offensive in mainstream society,” Jolly wrote.

“It would not be tolerated from a peer member of the bar, and would not be tolerated from a pro se litigant in the free setting.”

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

stupid%20question%20idiotic.jpg

How can The Juice be sure that “the question” was actually asked? Because he heard it himself, today. He was listening to a painfully long recorded statement taken before he was retained [DON’T GIVE THEM!] in an automobile accident case. Remember, this question was asked DURING A RECORDED STATEMENT. So, in the 25th minute [!!!], the following was asked of the accident victim:

Is the recording true and correct to the best of your knowledge?

HOW THE HELL WOULD HE KNOW, GENIUS? YOU ARE IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING THE RECORDING! And she was clearly reading from an idiotic insurance company script! If you know of a more idiotic question posed in the context of a legal claim or case, let The Juice know!

Squeezed on:

By

car%20crashing%20building%20crash.jpg
Of all the buildings in Los Angeles this [allegedly] drunk person could have crashed into, he “picks” a sober living home? That’s just bizarre. As reported by KTLA:

A DUI suspect crashed a sport utility vehicle into a South Los Angeles sober living home early Saturday.

The driver and a passenger were trapped in his Ford Explorer temporarily after the vehicle slammed into Watts Healthcare Corp. Inc. located at 8005 S. Figueroa Street just before 1:00am, officials said.

Continue reading →