Articles Posted in Uncool

It can’t feel good to be dumped. (Like The Juice would know?) But surely it must be better than having your penis nearly bitten off? The question could be posed to a 56-year-old Belgian man who has some serious teeth marks on his … Per The West Australian:

A Thai woman bit her Belgian boyfriend’s penis out of jealousy during sex, but doctors managed to save the nearly-severed organ, police and reports said today.

“We still don’t know the identity of the suspect or whether he wants her to be prosecuted,” police Lieutenant Colonel Norwich Chulavanich said.

Local media reported that the pair quarrelled after she learned the Belgian man was having an affair with another Thai woman.

There might be a webcam on you … right now. There’s definitely one on Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park, as 6 trespassers found out. Some folks watching it online saw them leave the boardwalk, and saw 2 of them urinate on Old Faithful! They called park rangers, and the suspects were rounded up, as reported by redgreenandblue.org. (Click on the link for the webcam photos.) What happened to them? Per the AP,

Two seasonal Yellowstone National Park concession workers [at the Old Faithful Inn] have been fired after a live webcam caught them urinating into the Old Faithful geyser.

Park spokesman Al Nash says a 23-year-old man on Tuesday was fined $750 and placed on three years of unsupervised probation for urinating, being off trail in a restricted area and taking items from the area. The man also was banned from Yellowstone for two years.

The second employee’s case is pending.

The geyser was not erupting at the time.

If it was, that likely would have been punishment enough …

Regular readers know that the Juice is not fond of folks who try to weasel out of jury duty. But this is one of the more idiotic methods I’ve seen employed (but did it work?). As reported by the Bozeman Daily Chronicle:

Erik Slye, a Belgrade auto painter in his mid-30s, was summoned to appear for jury duty on Jan. 26 by District Judge John Brown’s court. Slye, who had previously told the court that he could not take time off from work to serve on a jury, responded with a written tirade of insults and profanities that landed him in front of the judge last week. His wife now says she wrote the affidavit, even though her husband signed it.

So what did it say? [From The Smoking Gun]

Apparently you morons didn’t understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I’m not putting my familys well being at stake to participate in this crap. I don’t believe in our “justice” system and I don’t want to have a goddam thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dogs balls than sit on a jury . Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the F__k alone.

You sent this to the court? What the hell were you thinking? And what did the Court have to say?

… the note landed Erik Slye in front of Judge Brown. On April 21, Brown had Slye read the entire note aloud in court.

Um, er, oh. Did I say that?

“Mr. Slye, do you think I’m a moron?” Brown asked after he was finished.

Erik Slye said no, and apologized to Brown and the clerks of the court.

The result?

[Judge] Brown excused Erik Slye with a warning.

Slye’s wife apparently learned nothing from the ordeal.

Asked if she had any advice for others trying to get out of jury duty, she offered only this: “Freedom of speech doesn’t apply to jury affidavits.”

You can read a few more jury weasel posts here and here.

Yes, a 2-year-old girl left a Hollywood Video store in New York with more than $1,000 of video games in her stroller! Sure, some might argue I should also mention that, per the Albany Times Union,

Police said [the girl’s stepfather] Miguel Angel Rodriguez, 20, hid …[the] games in the stroller, then left the Hollywood Video store …

Not to worry, though, an intrepid store employee was on the case, following the gentleman into the parking lot.

Police said the employee took the games back, but Rodriguez refused to wait for police to arrive. Instead … he pushed the stroller into the nearby Wal-Mart where he tried to blend in with the crowd of last-minute Easter shoppers.

Fuhgeddaboutit.

The video store employee followed Rodriguez into the Wal-Mart, talking to police on his cellphone as he guided them to the suspect, police said. Rodriguez was still holding onto the stroller when police said they arrested him in front of dozens of shoppers.

The charges? Attempted grand larceny and acting in a manner injurious to a child. Using a 2-year-old? Uncool. Very uncool.

Kids, if you’re not ready for the test, do NOT go down this road. As reported by Northland’s News Center:

A school in Duluth received quite the scare Monday.

Around noon, the Nettleton Magnet School was evacuated after a 911 call claimed that someone was shot on the campus.

“It was apparent that within several minutes or so that it appeared no one was injured no students were injured a teacher was not shot so the investigation is ongoing at this point.” Assistant Duluth Superintendent Joe Hill says parents were kept in the loop in regards to what had happened. “We are utilizing the districts communication plan right now to get the call out to parents students will be going home with letters explaining the situation as well.”

The students were eventually let back in to the school.

The Duluth Police department is still conducting an investigation into the prank call.

Be scared, prankster. Be very scared.

OMFG. Make sure you click on the link at the end of the post to see a picture of mailman Gary Bloom’s face. He was just making the rounds in Springfield, Missouri when the dog literally attacked HIS FACE. As reported by ky3.com:

The Springfield-Greene County Health Department quarantined the dog for a mandatory 10 days. The dog’s owners now face fines from the city for having a loose dog and a possible lawsuit from the United States Postal Service.

Said the owner, after the attack:

“He is a good dog.”

Really? And you’re sticking with that?

Certainly all relationships have their ups and downs, but this is ridiculous. Chalie Simon, a 19-year-old sophomore at the University of Colorado, and her ex-boyfriend had, according to him, broken up about 20 times over the course of a year!

I’m guessing that he broke up the 20th time, and here’s why, as reported by The Boulder Daily Camera:

Cmdr. Tim McGraw said Simon … went to her former love interest’s apartment in the early morning hours and began throwing rocks at his window.

When the man opened the door for her and offered to let her come in from the cold, she allegedly became irate and tried to make her way into the man’s bedroom [where there was another woman], McGraw said.

After several attempts to remove her from the apartment, the woman allegedly grabbed the man’s genitals and “squeezed hard,” McGraw said.

Ouch!!!!!! thought the males reading this. BFD, thought the females. The police?

[Ms. Simon] was arrested and booked into the Boulder County Jail on suspicion of third-degree assault, domestic violence and first-degree criminal trespass.

What do you do to a guy who feels bad for a trapped animal frying in the sun (with no food or water) so he moves the cage? You arrest him, of course. No worries, though. Read on (from UPI):

Charges were dropped Thursday against a Utah man who moved a city-owned skunk trap into the shade because he felt sorry for the animal inside.

Paul Roberts, a lawyer for South Salt Lake City, said after 90 minutes of testimony that the case should be dismissed, The Salt Lake Tribune reported. Ryan Turner told the court he moved the trap because the skunk had been caught in it for two days, with no food or water and the sun blazing down during the day.

“I don’t see any crime in helping an animal,” Roberts said.

Turner had asked for a trap around his property because of a skunk problem. A city employee said Turner complained the skunk had invaded the house at least twice by a cat door.

The case attracted a lot of attention with Gene Baierschmidt of the Utah Humane Society calling Turner a “hero” who “made the morally right choice.” Turner said he found it “baffling” that it proceeded as far as it did.

I see your “baffling” and raise you an “idiotic” and a “WTF.”

Since the Juice is against school dress codes, how do you think he feels about “hair” codes? Check this out, from The Hindu (the “Online edition of India’s National Newspaper”):

In a bizarre incident, a teacher snipped off the hair of five students in a school in Burdwan district of West Bengal for allegedly not adhering to the institute’s code of conduct related to hairdo.

The teacher, Manisha Ray, cut short the hair of the students for violating the rule of tying two plaits and coming with with a single plait during the morning prayers. As news of the incident spread, irate guardians entered the school premises in protest. They locked the teachers in a room and demanded Ms. Ray’s suspension. The police arrested Ms. Ray following complaints by the guardians of the students whose hair was cut off.

“We have arrested the teacher, based on a complaint. Charges against her will be framed under relevant sections of the Indian Penal Code,” Burdwan’s Additional Superintendent of Police Utpal Naskar said.

Members of the school’s managing committee later suspended Ms. Ray indefinitely from service.

Paws (and scissors) off the hair.