Articles Posted in Uncool

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The Juice yearns for the good old days, when robbers and burglars used to just rob and burgle. Alas, it appears we shan’t be returning to those days. Yesterday, we learned about the Beanie Baby robber. Today, it’s the fish-killing robbers. Per the TribLocal:

Three goldfish were killed when a burglar poured hot sauce, mustard, ketchup and spices into a fish tank and stole a BB gun among other items from an Arlington Heights apartment, police said Wednesday.

You bastards! You killed … the goldfish!

The front door of an apartment on the 2100 block of South Goebbert Road was pried open sometime between Jan. 22 and Jan. 24, and burglars made off with a Nintendo game system, CD player, 30 games, 30 DVDs, a Daisy BB gun with extra BBs, jewelry and a 50-pound fire safe containing personal papers and pictures, police said.

Here’s the source.

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What kind of person would steal a little girl’s Beanie Babies? And use a knife during the heist? Perhaps the kind of 18-year-old who would want 6 Beanie Babies… As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

Two St. Cloud men accused of taking a little girl’s Beanie Babies and other items during a home invasion are being held without bail today at the Osceola County Jail.

Scott Napolillo and Sean Knapp, both 18, face charges of home-invasion robbery, aggravated assault and false imprisonment.

Napolillo is accused of pulling a knife from his waistband and forcing his way into a St. Cloud house to collect on a debt as Knapp waited outside with a souvenir baseball bat.

Must have been a large debt for all that.

The men rode their bicycles to the house.

Okay, maybe a medium-size debt?

The victim, who was not identified, told police Napolillo threatened to stab him if he didn’t have $130 to pay off his debt, the report stated.

Told there was no money, Napolillo ransacked the home and told the victim if he tried to run a friend known as the “Marlboro Man” was waiting outside.

After packing the robbed items in a black bag, Napolillo left after saying he would come back and kill the victim if police were called, the report stated.

After the men left, a police officer on patrol in the area recognized Napolillo as a suspect in several burglaries and followed the men as they rode their bikes across St. Cloud, an arrest report stated.

The officer stopped them for riding against traffic after they cut off a car on 17th Street.

Napolillo had a dagger stuffed inside his waistband and he showed the officer that the black bag contained nine Nintendo video games, six Beanie Babies, the souvenir baseball bat, a cell phone and 13 AA batteries, the report stated.

$130! STFU! NFW did you do all that for $130. Here’s the source, which includes mug shots of the young men.

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Unless you’ve never seen a movie or tv show, you’re familiar with the cop who makes a mess of things and ends up getting busted down to traffic. So what happens if you are a traffic cop, and you mess up? This gent is almost certainly going to find out. As reported in The New Straits Times:

A traffic policeman was ordered to enter his defence by the magistrate’s court yesterday for ordering a woman motorist to strip at a roadblock.

Say what?

Corporal A.S. Affendi Ahmad Sairi, 41, was charged with ordering Ang Ya Ying, 28, to remove her blouse and with pulling her pants to cause her embarrassment and insulting her modesty in front of a petrol station in Cheras at 1.15am on May 4 last year.

Defence counsel Faizal Abd Rahman told the court that he would be calling three witnesses, including the accused…

Whatever the deal is, take the plea bargain!

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The Juice recalls hearing of a biblical passage about the actions of the father being visited on his son. Here’s a case of a son’s action resulting in a very unpleasant visit for his parents. As reported by The Spectator [Hamilton, Ontario]:

Hamilton police are searching for a group of men who chased another man into his home and beat up his parents.

The incident began around 2:45 a.m. Monday when a 21-year-old man, who was leaving a bar in Hess Village, refused to give an acquaintance a ride, said police spokesperson Catherine Martin.

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Some things you can chalk up to just having a bad day. But this? Nope. Gotta check yourself way before your fist approaches the meter maid’s face. As reported by the Chicago Sun-Times:

A west suburban man has been charged for allegedly punching a female meter maid in the face after she wrote him a ticket Friday evening in the River North neighborhood.

Hasan Perryman, 37, of the 800 block of South 19th Street in Maywood, was charged with one count of felony aggravated battery of a government employee, police said.

Perryman is accused of striking a Traffic Management Authority employee in the face about 5 p.m. Jan. 14 at in the 110 block of West Grand Avenue, police said.

The woman was writing a ticket when the man approached and repeatedly struck her in the face, police said. He fled but was found by a responding police officer.

Repeatedly? Dude. What about the meter maid?

The TMA employee was taken to Northwestern Memorial Hospital, police News Affairs Officer Darryl Baety said.

Here’s wishing her well. (Hey, scofflaws, it’s nothing personal for the meter maids. It’s just business.)

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Most drunk people give themselves away. It’s only a questions of whether or not anyone takes note. Fortunately for this lady’s 3 kids, someone took note, and called the cops. What was the first indication that she overindulged? She was driving down the road at 10 mph with her right front tire out of air. Oh, and she was weaving. And just in case that’s not enough evidence, as reported by www.cleveland.com, here’s what the woman said when the cops pulled her over:

“I need to put gas in my tire.”

Case closed. (Not surprisingly, she failed field sobriety tests.) Here’s the source.

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It was a bad day for Hamilton County, Ohio’s finest, but not nearly as bad as it was for John Harmon. Mr. Harmon, a diabetic, was suffering from low blood sugar when a police officer noticed he was driving erratically. So, after the police pulled him over, officers smashed Mr. Harmon’s window, dragged him out of the car, tased him seven times, and just basically shit-stomped him. As reported by the Cincinnati Enquirer:

John Harmon was coming off a late night at work when he left his downtown marketing firm for his Anderson Township home just after midnight in October 2009.

The 52-year-old longtime diabetic’s blood sugar levels had dipped to a dangerously low level causing him to weave into another lane.

A Hamilton County sheriff’s deputy spotted him on Clough Pike and suspected drunken driving. What happened over the next two minutes and 20 seconds should never happen to anyone, Harmon said.

Deputies broke the window of Harmon’s SUV, shocked him seven times with a Taser, cut him out of his seatbelt and wrestled him to the ground, severely dislocating his elbow, and causing trauma to his shoulder and thumb.

You can read a lot more, and see a video from one of the police cars, here.

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Yes, April S. Uwanawich (is The Juice the only one who reads this name and thinks “You Want A Witch?”), was born on 7/7/77. And she is a fortune-teller in Pennsylvania. Just one small problem – it’s against the law. As reported in The Pottstown Mercury:

A person is guilty of the charge if they “tell fortunes or predict future events … pretend to effect any purpose by spells, charms, necromancy or incantation, or advise the taking or administering of what are commonly called love powders or potions,” reads the statute.

Persons violate the law if they “stop bad luck,” “give good luck,” “win the affection of a person,” or “tell where to dig for treasure,” in return for “gain or lucre.”

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When this lady told her husband not to smoke, she meant it. And brother, did she drive the point home when he defied her. Per The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A woman was arrested Wednesday morning for beating her husband with a rock, claiming she didn’t want him to smoke a cigarette because of his poor health. “A woman can only take so much,” she told a deputy.

Even the non-lawyers among you must be familiar with the “I can only take so much” defense.

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finger%20severed%20cut%20off%20chopped.jpg No, not that. So 65-year old Pamela Fox thought 50-year-old neighbor Marija Andric harmed her flowers. Ms. Fox then allegedly “poured a caustic substance over the borders and lawn of [Ms.] Andric,” per The Telegraph. But that wasn’t the end of it.

Mrs Fox confronted Miss Andric, who opened her door to find Fox pointing an aerosol spray at her face.

Olive Lycourgou, prosecuting, at Reading Crown Court, Berks, said: “Miss Andric put her hands up to protect her face. Mrs Fox leaned in and bit off the end of Miss Andric’s little finger.” After the alleged assault she said Fox spat blood out of her mouth and ran away. Surgeons were unable to reattach the finger.

Ouchee! Here’s the source.