What’s next? Tasing every pulled-over motorist before requesting a license and registration? For god’s sake man, you don’t have to tase someone just because you can! Here’s a ridiculous story out of Cincinnati, as reported by WKRC:
A St. Paris, Ohio man, not even registered in the Flying Pig Marathon, caused quite a commotion at the race Sunday morning.
Not registered? Tase him!
Then high-school junior Avery Doninger was ticked off that the battle of the bands (Jamfest) was cancelled. So, at home, on her own blog, she posted an entry stating that
Jamfest is canceled due to the douchebags in central office.
As events unfolded, it turns out her characterization was pretty accurate. Her punishment? She was told to apologize to the school superintendent, show her mom the blog entry, and withdraw her candidacy for Class Secretary (an office she held since entering high school). She agreed to the first two, but would not withdraw from the race. So the school refused to let her run (she would have won as a write-in candidate, but the votes were ignored!), and she filed suit, claiming that the school violated her right to free speech.
The result? She lost! “The content of the blog was related to school issues, and it was reasonably foreseeable that other LMHS students would view the blog and that school administrators would become aware of it,” said U.S. District Court Judge Mark Kravitz. I think her Mom, who was praised on local radio for telling Avery “you’re grounded, and we’re going to federal court to file a civil suit,” has it right. She said:
Punishment is up to me. This erodes the training ground for the democratic process, which must be that you have to distrust democracy occasionally in order to make it work. The embedded lesson of democracy at Lewis S. Mills is hollow. Theirs is an overreaching power to orchestrate.
Here’s hoping the Court of Appeals agrees. Update: The Court of Appeals didn’t, upholding Judge Kravitz’s decision. But wait! Ms. Doninger’s attorney is going to appeal the case to the Supreme Court.
Men are always trying to think of good ways to meet women. This guy clearly should have continued thinking. Unfortunately, he stopped when he got to the scenario with the monkey … As reported by The Arab Times:
Police [in Kuwait City] have arrested an unidentified youth for disturbing female visitors at a fast food restaurant. It has been reported the youth was deliberately blocking the way of female motorists, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. According to security sources the youth was carrying a monkey and he had placed his telephone number on the glass of his car. Police have reportedly impounded the man’s car.
If you’ve never been mad at your parents, then …There’s really no need to finish that sentence.
But have you ever attacked one of your parents? While the parent was driving? Who would do that? Well … per the Northwest Florida Daily News:
A 16-year-old girl was riding in the passenger seat attacking her mother while she was driving, according to a Nicevile Police report.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6ItLLuDy5s
What’s better than a confession? Maybe a video of the crime? As reported by winknews.com:
A video posted online showcasing a man hitting another with a “baseball punch” lands a suspect behind bars.
(Photo courtesy of Raul Lieberwirth)
Here’s a tale of smoker who really, really wanted a cigarette. As reported in the Colorado Springs Police Blotter (April 8, 2011):
Officers were dispatched on a panicked call for help by a 24 year old resident of the Summer Grove Apartments, located near the intersection of N. Academy Boulevard and Austin Bluffs Parkway. The victim was an acquaintance of the 26 year old suspect. Santos Santier knocked on the door of our victim and requested a cigarette. Angered that he was awakened [at 1:00 a.m.] for such a trivial purpose, the resident closed the door without fulfilling his request, which now enraged Santier. Santier began kicking the entrance door, eventually gaining entry, then attacked the victim. Shortly after police arrival he was taken into custody. His actions resulted in an arrest for First Degree Burglary, a Felony. Only minor injuries were sustained by both parties.
Yikes.
Sure, things would go a lot more smoothly for you if you could just pepper spray people who don’t listen to you. But you can’t. Or, can you … Okay, you can, but it’ll cost you, as a Georgia teacher discovered. As reported by 11alive.com:
According to a Macon police news release, officers were called to the Elam Alexander [Academy] … last Friday.
The release says a school video captured [teacher Barbara] Neeley spraying the 14-year-old boy. Police say two boys were disrupting a classroom and Neeley told them to return to their seats.
She warned she would pepper spray them if they didn’t sit down. They didn’t, and police say Neeley sprayed them. One boy closed his eyes and was not affected; the other boy was treated by a nurse and his parents were called to school.
And what happened to Ms. Neeley?
Bibb schools spokesman Chris Floore said Barbara Neeley resigned from Elam Alexander Academy on Wednesday, after school officials completed their internal investigation of the pepper-spray incident. Neeley still faces a charge of cruelty to children, according to Macon police.
Here’s the source.
Who knew chickens were so into baseball? Some Texas chickens paid the ultimate price just to try to help their team. As reported by The Houston Chronicle:
Fort Worth area police are investigating whether two prep baseball players sacrificed chickens in a bid to improve their games.
Apparently practicing more didn’t occur to them?
What’s in a name? Plenty, if you’re talking about beer names and the Michigan Liquor Control Commission. You’re in trouble when the standard you’re using, as here, is whether the product is “deemed … to be detrimental to the health, safety or welfare of the general public.” A little vague, perhaps?
As reported by www.mlive.com:
Flying Dog Brewery is suing the state Liquor Control Commission, alleging the agency is censoring its free speech by rejecting labels for the bottler’s “Raging Bitch” 20th Anniversary India Pale Ale.
So Michigan has a problem with “Raging Bitch” beer. What Flying Dog beers has it okayed, you might be wondering?
[Flying Dog] markets approved labels, including “Doggie Style” Classic Pale Ale [and] “In Heat Wheat” Hefeweizen Ale … at many chain and specialty stores in West Michigan.
And don’t forget about this one …
… the state has allowed sales of alcoholic beverages with a vulgar term on the label. Among those are a Grand Rapids brew “Dirty Bastard,” crafted by Founders.
If you’re wondering why “Doggie Style,” “In Heat Wheat,” and “Dirty Bastard” are okay but “Raging Bitch” isn’t, The Juice also wonders. To read a lot more, including Flying Dog’s connection to Hunter S. Thompson, click here.
Think of the last place a man would want to be kicked? Well, the same goes for being tased. Just ask the Arizona police officer who got zapped there. Per The Arizona Daily Star:
A Nogales police officer who claims his former sergeant used a Taser on his genitals last February has filed a federal lawsuit against the Police Department and former sergeant.
Yeowwww!
According to the lawsuit, Sgt. Sergio Bon “aggressively” pushed a clipboard holding citations at Officer Pedro Molera when Molera placed the clipboard on Bon’s desk on Feb. 8, 2010. Bon then unholstered his Taser, removed the front cartridge and pointed it at Molera, the lawsuit states.
When Molera responded “Are you going to use it? Go ahead,” Bon placed it on Molera’s penis over his clothes and squeezed the trigger for a “couple of seconds,” the lawsuit states.
[Police Chief] Kirkham previously confirmed Bon, an 18-year veteran, resigned as a result of the incident, and acknowledged Bon would likely have been terminated had he not submitted his resignation.
You can read more here.
Legal Juice