Articles Posted in Uncool

Squeezed on:

By

boyfriend%20love.jpg

When you hear the facts, you’ll no doubt agree that the boyfriend clearly had it coming. As reported by lancasteronline.com:

An officer responded to Lancaster General Hospital at 9:39 a.m. Monday for a report of a stabbing victim, city police said in a criminal complaint.

A 19-year-old Lancaster man said he had been stabbed at 11 p.m. Sunday in the 600 block of St. Joseph Street, police said. He sustained two one-inch lacerations to his left arm.

Jasmine Marie Rivera, 18, of the first block of East Walnut Street, admitted that she had stabbed the man, who is her boyfriend, police said.

Ouch. So what did he to do deserve being stabbed?

She said she had become upset because she had waited outside for him Sunday and he took too long to arrive.

She has a knife, and apparently a bad temper. The Juice hopes he never cheats on her …

Rivera was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and simple assault before District Judge Cheryl Hartman, city police Lt. Todd Umstead said.

Unsecured bail was set at $15,000, and Rivera was released Monday night.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Rivera.

Squeezed on:

By

toilet%20paper%20tp.jpg

This is an example of a ridiculously over-the-top reaction to a totally harmless “event.” As reported by wdam.com:

Bond has been set for a JCJC student who was arrested for a hand written note claiming there was a bomb on campus.

Sounds serious, right? Nope, as you’ll see below.

Judge Billie Graham set a $20,000 bond for Harold Wayne Hadley Jr., 19. Hadley was arrested at his home in Seminary on Tuesday after the note was found in a bathroom at the industrial services building on the JCJC campus. In all, 11 agencies responded to the threat, but no bomb was found. Officials said Hadley was arrested after they matched his handwriting to the note, which was written on toilet paper. His family says the word “bomb” is often used by Hadley in reference to a bodily function and not an explosive device.

In case you haven’t figured it out, “bomb” = “fart”.

“He was in the restroom doodling on some toilet paper and I am going to just let modesty go and tell you we are from the country, and so he calls passing gas, bombs,” said Hadley’s Aunt. “So, he was doodling on the toilet paper and put I passed a bomb in the library, talking about passing gas and somebody come in and found it, give it to the teacher that recognized his hand writing and it blow all out of proportion.”

He was doodling on toilet paper, people, about farting!

While investigators will not reveal exactly what was written down by Hadley, they tell News Seven that the written bomb threat was more explicit than “I passed a bomb in the library”

Sure. Probably can’t say because of “national security.” It couldn’t be that they were just embarrassed.

Hadley’s family says he was an all “A” student who was scheduled to graduate in May. Meanwhile, he remains in the Jones County jail.

Well, we can all rest safely now… Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

ingrate.jpeg

You try to be nice to people, and what do you get? Spit on, literally, and more. As reported by the
Northwest Florida Daily News:

A woman who gave her ex-boyfriend a ride to the bowling alley called for help after he called her names, spit in her face, pushed her head against a pillar and threw a glass of water at her.

He also pulled her hair, which was a wig and came off in his hand.

The 35-year-old Fort Walton Beach man had left the area before Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputies arrived, according to his arrest report.

Probably didn’t even say “thank you.”

The incident happened on Jan. 16. Deputies located and arrested him the next day. He was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery.

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

By

ambulance.png
It’s 3:30 a.m. What’s the rush? That would be a good question to ask Mr. Warren Melamed. As reported by www.newschannel5.com:

Mount Juliet Police say the two ambulance drivers were taking a patient out of a home on a stretcher at 3:30 Saturday morning, when they say, Melamed, attempted to drive the ambulance away.

“They immediately laid the patient down and asked the gentlemen to get himself out from behind the wheel,” said Wilson Co. Emergency Management Director John Jewell.

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

protective%20order%20protection.jpg

The Juice is not aware of any stats on the quickest violation of a protective order. If any such compendium existed, this case would have to be near the top. As reported by sonomanews.com:

Deputies didn’t have to go far to arrest an individual who had violated a court order – he was still in jail. The man had been arrested earlier that morning on a domestic violence charge and was served with an emergency protective order forbidding him or any third party from having any contact with his wife. The man called his wife three times from the county jail, leaving messages on her answering machine. The man’s grandmother also called the wife and left a message saying she was going to bail her grandson out. The man, who was still in jail, had a probation violation and disobeying a court order added to the charges he’s facing.

A two-fer! Violations by calling directly, and through granny. Brilliant!

Squeezed on:

By

sleeping%20it%20off%20drunk%20in%20urinal.jpg

Generally, when you get plastered, it’s a good idea to just sleep it off. Ah, but it’s very important where you chose to do so. Just ask this gent from Kentucky. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, KY):

According to the arrest slip, around 6:30 a.m. Saturday police responded to reports of a vehicle facing north in the southbound lane near the 4400 block of Shepherdsville Road. When police arrived at the scene, they found 21-year-old Cruz Santiago at the wheel.

Okay. They found him at the wheel. So what’s the problem?

Police say the 2008 Pontiac was running and in gear, and that Santiago was asleep at the wheel with his foot on the brake as the car inched forward. When confronted, Santiago said Santiago smelled of alcohol, had bloodshot eyes and was unsteady on his feet.

Big, big problem. Dude could have killed someone.

Santiago failed a field sobriety test, police say, and registered .184 on a portable breathalyzer test.

He was arrested and charged with one count of DUI.

You’ll find the source, including a mug shot, here.

Squeezed on:

By

good%20neighbor%20neighbors.png
If you’re this lady, you plunder her home! And then do it again! The plunderer’s timing wasn’t the best, as reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

At first, on Wednesday, she helped herself to some craft supplies. And a knife. A purse. One hundred CDs. The window curtains.

Shellie Leonard wanted more, authorities said, and on Thursday she went back to her neighbor’s house on Dalwood Drive with plans to steal a computer and electronics. Her neighbor was incarcerated at the Pasco County jail.

Continue reading →
Squeezed on:

By

sweet%20and%20sour%20sauce%20packet%20packets.jpg

Even if you like sweet and sour sauce, ain’t no way you like it as much as this Washington State man. As reported by The Highline Times:

A man entered a fast food restaurant at the 14800 block of 4th Ave. S.W. asking for some condiments. The clerk told him no. That angered him so he pulled out a knife and demanded they hand over some sweet and sour sauce. There were no reported injuries and it was unclear if they had the suspect in custody.

Clearly a head-scratcher.

Squeezed on:

By

Breathalyzer.jpg

The Juice thinks this breathalyzer must be busted. Why? Because this dude blew way too low considering the circumstances. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

The deputy saw sparks and smoke coming from Kevin Blazer’s Lexus just after 1 a.m. Wednesday and pulled the car over on Little Road near Trouble Creek Road. The driver was so intoxicated, the Pasco sheriff’s deputy later wrote in a report, he didn’t realize he had been driving with his left front tire missing. Blazer, a 34-year-old college student, was arrested and charged with DUI. His blood alcohol level was between 0.129 and 0.131, according to the Sheriff’s Office. The state presumes impairment at 0.08.

Blazer, of 4039 Vista Verde Drive in New Port Richey, was released from the Pasco Jail on Wednesday.

Kudos to Mr. Blazer for returning to college while in his 30s. A big black mark for Mr. Blazer for not maturing much in the intervening years.

Squeezed on:

By

man%20up.png

The Juice really, really dislikes liars. Everyone screws up. When you do, just own up to it, and accept the consequences. A drunk-driving English lawyer took a different approach. As reported by The Independent:

Francis Bridgeman, 43, attempted to create an elaborate web of lies to cover up the drink-driving offence … Bridgeman’s Land Rover Sport was found locked and in a ditch in Shovers Green, Ticehurst, East Sussex, at about 1am on April 7, 2010, having crashed into a telegraph pole, police said.

Officers traced the Land Rover to Bridgeman’s home in Wards Lane, Wadhurst, but the lawyer claimed armed men had kidnapped him in the car park of Wadhurst railway station, before driving him off at knifepoint with a bag over his head in another vehicle and then dumping him in Cousley Wood

And, as an officer of the court, you’re sticking with that? Really?

Sussex Police said a breath test carried out at his home proved he was just over the drink-drive limit and he was arrested on suspicion of drink-driving.

Barely over! So he can’t even claim that he came up with such a lame story because he was shitfaced!

Police launched a kidnap investigation but Bridgeman’s recollection of events could not be substantiated, police said.

And physical evidence?

Bridgeman’s DNA was found on the Land Rover’s airbag, showing that he must have been driving the car when it crashed, Sussex Police added.

Curse you, DNA!

He was charged with perverting the course of justice, drink-driving, driving without due care and attention and failing to report a road accident.

After a 5-day trial, guess how long it took for the jury to find him guilty? 45 minutes! So what was the sentence?

Judge Guy Anthony banned Bridgeman from driving for 18 months and ordered that he pay £4,200 costs.

Additionally, Bridgeman was sentenced to 12 months in jail.

Quoting a line from Sir Walter Scott’s poem Marmion, [the Judge] said: “Oh, What a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive.”

He added: “You wasted valuable police time and public expense in order to escape a drink-driving offence when you should have had the courage and decency to plead guilty from the outset. To pervert the course of justice is a serious offence and warrants a custodial sentence.”

Hear, hear, your Honor. Hear, hear. You’ll find the source here.