Articles Posted in Uncool

Squeezed on:

eviction%20notice.jpg

This young man may have done his stepfather a favor by expediting his own eviction, albeit in a mean and uncool manner. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

Jorge Jonathan Cruz-Blanco [19 years old] was mad because he knew the eviction notice was coming, his stepfather told deputies, according to a Pasco County Sheriff’s Office report.

Kenneth Pangborn said his stepson didn’t have a job and wasn’t going to school, so he was kicking him out.

Mr. Cruz-Blanco was not pleased.

The report said Cruz-Blanco threw things around the house and shoved 72-year-old Pangborn to the ground. Cruz-Blanco stepped outside to wait for deputies when he heard Pangborn calling 911.

When they arrived, Cruz-Blanco explained that he had to use the bathroom while he was waiting, so he pulled down his pants and left the mess on the porch.

He pooped on the porch. That’s just not cool.

Cruz-Blanco, of New Port Richey, was arrested on a charge of battery on a person over 65. He remained Tuesday at the Land O’Lakes jail without bail.

That’ll make the eviction a whole lot easier. Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

Squeezed on:

sleeping%20on%20subway.jpg

If you ride the subway frequently (The Juice did back in the day, before he discovered bicycling to work) you always see people nodding off. Chances are, though, that very few of them were toting this kind of merchandise. As reported by Brooklynpaper.com:

A crook stole a bookbag from a sleeping straphanger riding the D train near the Pacific Street subway station on Apr. 11, police said.

The man fell asleep at 3 am, and when he woke up, his bag — which contained a laptop, credit card, iPod, designer jacket, passport, and $200 in cash — was gone without a trace.

Ouch.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

law.jpg

The Juice is confident you will agree that Canton, Ohio needs to loosen the reins a little bit. Check out this law, that is actually on the books:

539.07  PLAYING OF GAMES.

(a)  No person shall play any game in any park of the City except such as the Superintendent of Parks designates and upon such portion of the park as the Superintendent designates. (1964 Code §511.08)

(b) Whoever violates this section is guilty of a minor misdemeanor.

Think it’s enforced often? Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

fraud.jpg

If you’re going to commit fraud, at least be creative or clever. You know, something that would make a good movie. But nooooooo, you had to go and commit this super-simple, guaranteed-to- be-caught fraud. As seen in The New Hampshire Union Leader:

State Police were called to a single-car collision at 10 p.m. Aug. 15, 2011, at which St. Laurent had collided with a jersey barrier near Exit 3 on Daniel Webster Highway in Nashua.

At 11:24 p.m. that night, Progressive Northern Insurance Co. initiated a policy for St. Laurent by telephone, authorities said. The next day, St. Laurent told Progressive he had been in a car accident at 1 a.m. on Aug. 16, 2011, and filed a claim in excess of $1,000 in damages.

After an investigation, St. Laurent withdrew the claim.

That must have been one tough investigation. The dude filed a claim less than two hours after he got the policy! Then what?

The case was investigated by the state Attorney General’s Office and state Insurance Department’s Fraud Unit.

Again, another very short investigation. Not surprisingly, charges followed.

Peter St. Laurent pleaded guilty in Hillsborough County Superior Court in Nashua to one count of Class B felony insurance fraud, state officials announced in a press statement …

The time?

St. Laurent was sentenced in court to 12 months in the House of Correction and a $1,000 fine, both of which were suspended on good behavior and successful completion of one year of probation, authorities said.

Dude caught a break. Here’s the source.

Speaking of auto insurance, The Juice is a personal injury lawyer practicing in Maryland, Washington, DC and Virginia.

Posted in:
Squeezed on:
Updated:
Squeezed on:

car%20chase.jpg
Well sir, this young man went on one hell of a tear. As reported by timesonline.com (Beaver, PA):

The incident began at 3:47 a.m. March 19 when police were summoned to a father and son dispute at 422 Moore Ave., [Brian Victor] Roppa’s residence. Roppa’s father, unidentified in the report, told police that Brian Roppa was intoxicated and driving.

Officer Derek Shipley of Baden stopped Roppa at the intersection of Moore and Berry Street. Shipley asked Roppa to turn off the engine and step from the car, according to the report. Roppa, citing God, refused.

Squeezed on:

taunting%20taunt%20tease%20funny%20mean.jpg Let’s say you rob somebody, and then you’re foolish enough to call him the following day to taunt him. Would you do it from a phone that could be traced to you? A young man in New York did. And it led to his arrest, along with his 4 alleged accomplices. As reported in New York’s “The Journal News” …

[Lt.] Clark said the incident occurred Tuesday, when the victim, who works at the Scarsdale Public Library, left work about 9 p.m. to catch a bus home. About 20 minutes later, as he waited at the Post and Olmsted roads bus stop, he was attacked by a group of young men who police said beat him until he momentarily blacked out. They fled in a car after taking the man’s briefcase.

Knocking the dude out? That’s cold. Why’d they do it?

“The investigation revealed that this was a completely random attack, and that these young men set out to beat somebody up,” Clark said. “Taking the briefcase was almost incidental. One of the men said that his mother had died recently, and that he was angry and just wanted to beat someone up.”

Really? The Juice didn’t know random asskicking was one of the 5 stages of grief. Just how did the bust go down?

The next day, [the victim] received the taunting phone call, which he immediately reported to police. Within hours, Scarsdale Detectives Russ Morvant and Servando Rodriguez were able to trace the call to a house on North Kensico Avenue in White Plains. They found Marzano, of 100 N. Kensico Ave., there, along with Pacicca, of 1649 Hall Ave., and Brown.

Find anything else?

The detectives also found the stolen briefcase and other items belonging to the victim …

Doh!

Squeezed on:

ItsOkToBeGay.jpg

The source for today’s Juice? A Change.org petition that came The Juice’s way. No doubt this law will end homosexuality in Alabama… Clearly a class adhering to the requirements of this law cannot be called sex “education.” The law is Section 16-40A-2 of the Alabama Code:

MINIMUM CONTENTS TO BE INCLUDED IN SEX EDUCATION PROGRAM OR CURRICULUM

… (c) Course materials and instruction that relate to sexual education or sexually transmitted diseases should include all of the following elements:

… (8) An emphasis, in a factual manner and from a public health perspective, that homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public and that homosexual conduct is a criminal offense under the laws of the state.

This is just stupid and wrong on so many levels. Who is this “general public” referring to? Not the American public. And “homosexual conduct is a criminal offense”? Sure, some of it is (sodomy). But what about two men holding hands? You can read the full text of this small-minded, bigoted law here.

Squeezed on:

drunk.png

In the world of 911 operators, this probably wasn’t even that wacky of a call. Still, it was really stupid. It’s almost like you’d have to be drunk to do something this dumb. Per clickorlando.com:

A Brevard County mother was arrested after she called 911 and asked dispatchers to sends officers to scare her children, police said.

You know, it’s not so easy raising teenagers. Wait, the kids are how old?

According to jail records, Melissa Townsend, 27, was arrested Tuesday after making the call to emergency officials about her kids, ages 1 and 3.

Doh.

“I need a police officer to come out and scare the (expletive) out of my kids,” Townsend said on the 911 call. “They’re not listening to me and they need to learn respect. They need to learn that lesson.”

Yeah, if you start letting them disrespect you at age 1, who knows how they’ll turn out?

The dispatcher told the upset mother that police would not do what she asked. “We don’t come out and scare kids,” the dispatcher said.

Police responded to Townsend’s Indian Harbour Beach home and found the mother drunk, officials said.

And if this behavior wasn’t troubling enough, check this out:

Police said when they tried to arrest Townsend she kicked an officer in the groin multiple times.

That there’s about the worst kind of resisting arrest.

Townsend was booked into the Brevard County Jail on several charges, including child neglect and battery on a law enforcement officer.

Click here for the source, which includes a mug shot.

Squeezed on:

crack%20pipe%20cocaine.jpg

Surgery is scary enough. I’d like to know that my doctor is certain that operating while on crack would be a bad thing. It’s not that California ear, nose and throat specialist Li Quang Nguyen actually operated while on crack, but check this out, as reported by the OC Register:

In July 2007, Dr. Nguyen was staying at the Howard Johnson Express in Huntington Beach. Police responded to a call that maids could not enter the locked room for cleaning. Police found Nguyen in a deep sleep. Police removed rock cocaine, a clear vial of liquid cocaine, a glass pipe and a lighter, the documents say.

Hard to say “what crack” in those circumstances, right?

Nguyen admitted to police that he had freebased cocaine the day before but said he was not “hooked,” according to the documents. In April, he pleaded no contest to drug charges and was ordered to enter an 18-month treatment program.

Okay. Looking good, until the disciplinary hearing for his medical license…

… during his hearing, Nguyen said he knew nothing about the drugs and “went so far as to testify that he did not know if it would be dangerous to perform surgery under the influence of cocaine.”

The board’s disciplinary documents say, “He claimed he could not know if this would be dangerous since he had never tried it, but such an assertion made by a trained physician is simply preposterous and rather frightening.”

What, what, what? Dr. Nguyen, who had a previous disciplinary action, had his license revoked. To read more, click here.

Squeezed on:

polygamy%20polygamist.jpg
There’s no shortage of laws out there that need updating. This Mississippi law, which not only outlaws polygamy, but outlaws even teaching about it, is ripe for tweaking.

SEC. 97-29-43. Polygamy; teaching of.

If any person shall teach another the doctrines, principles, or tenets, or any of them, of polygamy; or shall endeavor so to do; or shall induce or persuade another by words or acts, or otherwise, to embrace or adopt polygamy, or to emigrate to any other state, territory, district, or country for the purpose of embracing, adopting, or practicing polygamy, or shall endeavor so to do, he shall, on conviction, be fined not less than twenty-five dollars nor more than five hundred dollars, or be imprisoned in the county jail not less than one month nor more than six months, or both.