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shit
Even those among you who think that words like “shit”are “bad” words should concede that they are okay to use when they are integral to the story.  Somehow “contents of the septic tank” just doesn’t get the point across like “shit” does. Anyway, as reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

Stanley Lee Dixon, 52, of 5153 Carolina Highway, Denmark, pleaded guilty on Monday to littering over 500 pounds.

Circuit Judge Maite Murphy sentenced Dixon to one year of incarceration at the S.C. Department of Corrections, but reduced it to six months of probation.

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bicycle sign image
As a daily bicycle commuter, it pains The Juice to speak (ahem, “allege”) ill of a fellow traveler. Alas, it is not looking good for this gent, as reported by NJ Advance Media for NJ.com:

Jose Angel Perez-Luna, 31, Tannersville, Pa., was arrested early Sunday morning near the Holland Tunnel after a Port Authority police officer spotted a Citi Bike in the open bed of his pickup truck, police spokesman Joe Pentangelo said. At roughly 3 a.m., Perez-Luna had passed Lt. Joseph Macaluso and abruptly stopped at a red light at 14th Street and Jersey Avenue, Pentangelo said.

After noticing the Citi Bike, Macaluso stopped Perez-Luna, who explained that he stole the bike from Manhattan to commute to his job. The bike is valued at $1,000. Perez-Luna was also driving with a suspended license and had previously been cited in Virginia for unlicensed driving, Pentagelo said.

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united nations building
Sir, your library card! Now! [Shredder sound in the background.] As reported by The Plymouth Herald:

Officers were called to the on campus library around 12pm after a 41-year-old man had reportedly exposed himself to a female library user.

A police spokesperson said: “Police received reports a male had indecently exposed himself to a female library user at Plymouth University.

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phone smartphone cell
If this is the way he treats his own cousin, strangers beware.  As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter:

84th Precinct – Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Two louts robbed a man outside a Smith Street convenience store on Aug. 15, and fled in a getaway car driven by the victim’s cousin, cops say.

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beer bottles open case lots many
In Germany, wasting 1,200 bottles of beer has got to be a felony. Why would anyone do that? You won’t guess, so I’ll tell you, via nbcnews.com:

Thieves who broke into a shop in Muelheim, Germany, opened 1,200 bottles of Koenig Pilsener beer — but left the otherwise untouched containers stacked neatly in their crates and the amber brew inside to spoil.

Investigators were initially surprised to find that all of the opened bottles were of the same brand.

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boy child car playing
Clearly this gentleman is not a regular Juice reader, or he may not have tried this stunt. (The Juice has posted stories similar to this.)  Sure, being drunk impairs your judgment, but to this degree? As reported by Albany Times Union:

Town police said a Saratoga Springs man had his 10-year-old drive his pick-up truck while he was sitting drunk in the passenger seat.

Stillwater police said they were contacted by someone on Saturday who saw a young child driving a truck on Route 9P. The truck pulled over for police, and it was found that a 10-year-old was driving while his father, John H. Barling, 46, was allegedly intoxicated in the passenger seat. The child was picked up by a family member, and Barling was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor, and permitting unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, a traffic infraction.

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fish
Sure thing dude. My house is your house! No, the homeowner wouldn’t have said that, because she had no idea who the guy was! As reported by The Salina Journal (salina.com):

A burglar apparently got a case of the munchies after breaking into a house in the 700 block of North Seventh Street on Tuesday afternoon, and — possibly even more bizarre — he argued with the occupant and refused to leave once she returned home.

Capt. Mike Sweeney said Luella Garrett, 52, returned to her home about 3:10 p.m. to find a stranger sitting on her couch. She called 911 to report the incident, telling the dispatcher that the man refused to leave, Sweeney said.

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emergency 911
While everyone knows 911 is only for emergencies, not everyone respects this fact.  As reported by The Indiana Gazette:

State police said Travis J. Turner, 26, will be charged with obstructing emergency services in connection with an incident Sunday that occupied EMS responders while there was a real medical call elsewhere.

Turner was charged with similar crimes in December 2014 when first responders told state police that Turner had fled the scene after placing an emergency call, causing the Citizens’ Ambulance crew to spend time looking for him. The charges were later withdrawn.

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Close up of a mobile phone with a touch screen. Focus is on the phone with small DOF.
Court after court has held that you can f-bomb the police.  Depending on the situation, it may be totally disrespectful and rude, or it may be justified and appropriate. Regardless, it is constitutionally protected.  Of course, that doesn’t mean the police can’t charge you, or that a state court can’t convict you, but you will eventually be vindicated.

So this gent, Mr. Buehler, was recording a proceeding in court. The judge was not pleased, although it appears Mr. Buehler was legally permitted to record. A kerfuffle ensued, and just when you thought it might be over …  As reported by PINAC (photographyisnotacrime.com):

As [Gonzalez Police Captain Gayle] Autry turned around to return to the courthouse, a sarcastic “have a nice day” was exchanged between the cop and one of Buehler’s associates.

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The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer, so he’s not going to weigh in on all these charges, other than to wonder “Does she need to kill someone before she gets a serious sentence? Fifth DUI?”  As reported by The Independent Record (Helena, Montana):

On Wednesday at 11:55 p.m., an officer was conducting preventative patrol in the area of N. Last Chance and Cruse Ave. The officer observed a vehicle run the red light at this intersection. The officer conducted a traffic stop and initiated a DUI investigation. The driver, Tennille Lomahukluh, 35, was placed under arrest. Lomahukluh was transported and booked into the LCSO Jail on suspicion of the following charges: Felony DUI (fifth offense), driving while driving status is revoked, no insurance, red light violation, probation violation.

It’s probably not going out on a limb to suggest that she’s likely to be in a cell for a while.

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