Articles Posted in Say What?

It’s an age-old story: two girls are involved with the same dude. What to do … Conclude that they should both dump this two-timer? No. Go to the dude and tell him he has to choose between them? No. Flip a coin? Arm wrestle? First come, first serve? No, no and no. Fight? Yes. So, from the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:

April 25, 2010 – Assault

Summary: Officer Barry Worstell was dispatched to Memorial Central reference an assault. On the above date and time the suspect, Carriel Mackey age 18 and the victim, April Graham age 20 agreed to meet and settle their differences reference a male both of them were involved with. During this meeting Mackey produced a sharp object and cut Grahams face multiple times. Graham was treated at Memorial Central for the lacerations and received multiple stitches. Two of the most notable lacerations were a four inch cut along the right side of the head nearly missing the jugular which went all the way to her skull and the second was across her nose cutting the cartilage and laying it open. Mackey has not been located.

Absolutely brutal.

At approximately 0100 hours, on 4/26/10, Officers from the Sand Creek Division arrested Ms Mackey at her residence. Ms Mackey was booked into the Criminal Justice center on charges of 1st degree Assault.

The Juice is a believer in some old-fashioned notions, like men holding the elevator door open for women. Too bad a fellow in Boston, Mohammed Warsame, is not likeminded. Here’s why, as reported by The Boston Herald:

A Roxbury man was slopped with a plate of pasta, punched, kicked, spit on and beaten with handbags by two women who told investigators they needed to “teach him a lesson” for not holding an elevator door for them, police said.

Holy crap!

When Boston police arrived at 1050 Tremont St. late Saturday night to break up the lift tiff, they said they found noodles dripping off the back of Mohammed Warsame.

Kenyana McQuay, 27, and Waltia Funches, 28, told officers Warsame “was rude to them” because he didn’t hold the elevator door open as they walked into the building, and so “they had to use their fists, their bags and their feet to teach him a lesson.”

Warsame said he threw water bottles at the two women to try and fend them off.

Certainly etiquette sticklers like these ladies would treat the police with respect, right? Wrong.

Police, who described McQuay and Funches as “extremely agitated,” “uncooperative” and “verbally abusive toward officers,” summonsed both women to Roxbury District Court on assault and battery charges.

Here’s the source.

How embarrassing? Check this out, as reported by The Telegraph:

A man who was caught drink-driving in a toy car with a top speed of 4mph has been banned from driving.

Paul Hutton, 40, was pulled over by police as he drove an electric Barbie car, which moves slower than a mobility scooter, near his home in Essex. Mr Hutton, who has four children Simon, 17, Calum, 14, Laina, 12, and John, 11, admitted being a ‘complete twit’.

Speaking after the hearing at Colchester magistrates court, he said: “You have to be a contortionist to get in, and then you can’t get out. “I was very surprised to get done for drink-driving but I was a twit to say the least. “It is designed for three-to-five-year-olds.

“Originally it was a pink Barbie car but I put bigger wheels on it but it’s not fast. “I’m not unhappy with my punishment, just a little bit surprised.”

Mr Hutton, who is divorced, is a former RAF aeronautical engineer who now studies electrical engineering at Colchester Institute. He explained: “I’m in the third year of my electrical engineering course and it was a little project I was doing with my son who is doing a car mechanics course. “When it was done I couldn’t resist the temptation to take it out.

“Mr Hutton, was found to be twice the drink-drive limit, he said. Appearing before magistrates last week, he admitted driving the toy car while drunk. He was given a mandatory three-year ban because he had received another drink-drive ban within the past ten years. Magistrates also gave him a 12-month conditional discharge and ordered him to pay £85 court costs.

Chairman of the bench Neil Munson said: “This is most unusual. “I have never seen the like of it in 15 years on the bench.

“The vehicle is not even capable of doing the speed of a mobility scooter and could be outrun by a pedestrian. “Taking this into account, we feel we can impose a sentence of a conditional discharge for a period of 12 months.”

The car was confiscated by police until the hearing but Mr Hutton now hopes to get it back.

Here’s the source, including a photo of the driver.

More jobs for locals? It may be simple, but perhaps it’s just a little bit harsh. So how do you do it? You ban foreigners from doing the jobs! Done. That’s what happened in Malaysia, as reported in The New Straits Times:

Owners of coffee shops and restaurants are unhappy over a ruling that bars foreign workers from serving customers from next month.

The ruling, according to the West Coast Coffee Shop and Restaurant Owners’ Association, applies to all eateries. Foreigners will only be allowed to work in the kitchen.

Members of the association said they would be hard hit because it would not be easy to find locals to replace the foreigners.

The association, led by president Dr Yong Chen Yun, met state Resource Development and Information Technology Minister Datuk Dr Yee Moh Chai to appeal against the ruling.

 Yong had said there was a need to find a long-term solution to encourage more locals to work in the sector.

 Waiter Masri Asanong said the decision by the government was fair because many locals were keen to work in such establishments but could not compete with foreigners.

So what’s stopping these “keen” local workers? Here’s the source.

All parents get mad at their kids. But this? From the Broadview Heights Police Blotter, as reported by the Sun Star Courier at cleveland.com:

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, EAST ROYALTON ROAD: At 6:19 p.m. Thursday, a patrolman went to Marymount South Medical Center for a report of domestic violence.

A 17-year-old girl told the officer she and her mother have not been getting along lately. [A major understatement, as you will soon see.] She said she had just had surgery and is staying at home to recover. She said her mother came into her room and they started arguing.

Allegedly, her mother took her cell phone and the two began to wrestle. The mother reportedly spit in her face, pushed her to the ground and started hitting her, causing her head to bleed.

A 21-year-old sister came into the room and allegedly used her body to separate her sister and mother. Her 17-year-old sister claimed their mother spat in her sister’s face and threw a cat at her before leaving the room.

The 17-year-old eventually locked her mother out of the house and called the police. Her friend’s parents came and picked her up and transported her to the medical center.

The mother is charged with domestic violence. The 17-year-old daughter requested a motion for a temporary protection order.

Threw a cat at her!!! Shazam!

A Malaysian woman is almost certainly going to find out. Per The New Straits Times:

[A 28-year-old] woman is facing the death sentence after being caught with 1kg of heroin at an airport in Changsha, central China, last Saturday.

Do you know how much a kilo is? About 2.2 pounds. And it could have been A LOT LESS than that.

The … woman faces death by lethal injection if convicted as China’s Criminal Law stipulates that trafficking of more than 50g of heroin is punishable by death.

50 grams = 1.76 ounces. Here’s the source.

So what can Turkish citizens no longer bring back from a trip abroad? If you guessed “an artificially fertilized egg,” you’re … right! Per the BBC:

Artificial insemination is already illegal [in Turkey], but women have until now been able to go overseas to seek sperm donors.

Now they will face punishment of one to three years in prison for doing so.

You can read more (a lot) here.

Surely she didn’t mean she literally had a gun there… But, after Ms. Patterson was arrested in Orlando, Florida, when the police asked her if she had any weapons or drugs on her person, here’s what she is reported to have said:

“I have a gun in my vagina, you fucking idiot!” [expletive reinserted]

If you’re thinking that perhaps she was drunk, you can listen to the 911 tape (it’s not real exciting) and judge for yourself. As to how this came to pass, per wftv.com: