Articles Posted in Say What?

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Paul Ewing was certainly a stand-up guy to admit killing his neighbor’s plants with Roundup (in what has to be a unique way – see below). But was it really necessary to tell the police why he was mad at his neighbor? From The Bradenton Herald:

To get back at his neighbor for owing him money, Paul Ewing resorted to a series of drive-bys toting a water gun filled with Roundup weed killer, the Bradenton Police Department reports.

He told investigators that he was upset because his neighbor owed him more than $200 for drugs.

Brilliant!

The 35-year-old, who lives in the 100 block of 10th Street West, confessed to his actions after he was pulled over Thursday for driving with a suspended license.

In the front yard, Ewing gunned down flowers and bushes, the report stated. To get to the plants in the backyard, he filled water balloons with the weed killer and tossed them onto his neighbors property. Ewing estimated the landscaping damage to be about $250.

The Bradenton Police Department had been investigating the incidents that began May 1 and lasted until July 1.

Ewing was released from Manatee County jail Thursday after posting a $500 bond. He has been charged with criminal mischief with property damage.

Here’s the source.

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Except for Rich Sanchez (see photo above and video below), nobody wants to get tased. But how far would you go to avoid it? Hopefully there is not another soul out there who would go to this length. As reported by The Macomb Daily:

A judge in Mount Clemens has sentenced a father to a year in jail and parenting classes after he used his 2-year-old daughter as a shield during a confrontation with a Taser-wielding police officer.

27-year-old Joseph Cox of Belleville … pleaded no contest to misdemeanor child abuse and guilty to home invasion and obstructing an officer.

He was accused in March of breaking into his ex-wife’s Warren home. The child was held in front of a Taser pointed at Cox by an officer. The officer didn’t fire.

Clearly, Mr. Cox is no Rick Sanchez.

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Here’s a tasering you probably remember …

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Fancy having a “go” at the “Good To Go”? Maybe that’s how these folks ended up carnally knowing each other for over an hour outside of the “Good To Go” convenience store in Florida. As reported by WZVN-HD:

According to a sheriff’s report, deputies responded to the Good To Go Store at 16871 San Carlos Boulevard in Fort Myers in reference to an indecent exposure call.

As the deputies arrived, they spotted a naked Pomfret and half-naked Prothero having sex in plain view underneath a tree near the store, according to the report.

When a deputy walked over and told them to stop and get dressed, neither listened, the deputy said.

Sorry deputy. The Juice believes they actually did listen to you … and just chose to ignore you since they were kinda busy.

Once the deputy announced she was with the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, both reportedly stopped and put on their clothes.

And then?

George Pomfret, 49, and Brenda Prothero, 48, both of Fort Myers, were arrested [taken into custody] and charged with Indecent Exposure in Public.

Click here for the source, including photographs.

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There’s nothing wrong with grown men liking toys, be they iPhones, sports cars, or … plastic action figures … A man in Japan was perhaps a little too attached to his toys, based on what he did when his mommy threw some of them away. As reported in the Japan Times:

A man charged with torching his home in Kasai, Hyogo Prefecture, admitted Tuesday he did it out of anger because his mother threw away some of his plastic figures from the “Gundam” animation franchise.

Oh, they were “Gundam” action figures? Now it all makes sense!

“Plastic figures of Gundam are like my life partners. I thought I would rather burn to death with them than have them thrown away,” said Yoshifumi Takabe, 30, who pleaded guilty as his trial began at the Kobe District Court. Nobody was injured in the blaze [although his mom was in the house!].

Takabe told the court he piled 200 to 300 boxes of Gundam plastic figures up to near the ceiling in his room.

Very uncool, especially since his little brother, mother and grandmother also lived in the 2-story house he torched . Here’s the source.

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The Juice is of course referring to Elmo. For you Elmo fans, no worries. It turns out Elmo can take care of himself, and then some. As reported by the Orlando Sentinel:

Police in Winter Park said a man dressed as Elmo was attacked at a local music store on Saturday afternoon by a man who believed the Sesame Street character was a threat to him.

According to Winter Park police Lt. Wayne Farrell, the man had been hired to wear the Elmo suit for an event at Winter Park Village, and was on his break when the attack occurred at the Guitar Center on Orlando Avenue at about 3 p.m.

“He just wandered into the Guitar Center to look at instruments,” Farrell said. That’s when police say a man, who they said felt “threatened” by the Sesame Street star, attacked.

“He immediately thought (the man dressed as Elmo) was a threat,” Farrell said. Farrell called the ensuing struggle a “very physical fight,” with multiple punches thrown.

Who won?

“Elmo got the best of the guy,” Farrell said. “He broke two of his fingers.”

Adding insult to injury …

Police took the assailant to a local hospital, where Farrell said he will be temporarily detained for mental health evaluation.

Here’s the source.

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For those of you not familiar with a “happy finish,” have you not heard of Google? But back to today’s story, which takes us to an Australian Subway. As reported in the Northern Territory News:

A female robber surprised staff at a fast food restaurant with a strip, before fleeing with more than $500 in cash.

Before some of you get too excited, the term “strip” is used a little liberally.

Staff at the Subway restaurant in the Darwin suburb of Berrimah discovered a whole new meaning for “one with the lot” during the brazen daylight robbery at the weekend.

Police said a woman – believed to be between 25 and 30 years of age with dark hair – walked into the Subway on Sunday at 11.15am, demanding money and “waving a knife”.

Police said the woman then removed her top, exposing a black bikini top, before running to a waiting getaway car.

Now that’s an exit.

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Can you begin a life of crime while still in diapers. The short answer is, it Depends. (Get it!) But seriously, a baby was involved in the commission of a crime. How, you ask? Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:

A New Hampshire woman has been indicted for hiding cigarettes in her baby’s diaper before handing the baby to an inmate during a prison visit.

Snap! What are the charges for that?

Forty-five-year-old Wendy Parent of Belmont was charged with delivering contraband to a prisoner – a Class B felony punishable by up to seven years in prison.

First of all, “Parent?” Of course her name is “Parent.” Secondly, 7 years? That would be a little harsh for trying to pass some cigarettes. What about the inmate?

The inmate has not been charged and his identity and relationship to the baby have not been released by prison officials.

Here’s the source.

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When you gotta go, you gotta go, right? No. No. No. No. No. Especially “no” if your “target” is … the police station! What, you don’t believe The Juice? Do you believe The Detroit Free Press?

… in Royal Oak … at 4:39 p.m. Monday — in broad daylight on a weekday afternoon — [a man] was seen by several witnesses urinating on the side of the Royal Oak police station, according to Lt. Gordon Young. It gets better.

“After urinating, the suspect entered the station in an attempt to file a police report on an undisclosed matter,” Young said today.

But witnesses had quickly informed the police at the front desk, Deputy City Attorney Mark Liss said. The man was issued a citation, and likely will serve no jail time but pay a fine and court costs of $250; the maximum would have been $500 and up to 90 days in jail for public urination, Liss said today.

Wow. Click here for the source.

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You can never be sure how someone is going to handle being insulted. No doubt this gent’s insulting days are over. As reported in The Daily Herald (Everett, Washington), according to court papers:

[Dallas Amber] Smith [18] and others were gathered at her ex-boyfriend’s home south of Monroe, watching a movie and drinking.

She boasted to party-goers that she was good at doing back flips and that she could do one off anything, court papers said.

A man, 19, challenged her to do a flip off the deck. Smith took off her shoes and attempted the maneuver. She couldn’t do it. That’s when the man laughed at her and told her that her feet smelled, [deputy prosecutor] Albert wrote.

Smith started to playfully wrestle with the man, rubbing her socks in his face. She started hitting him. After several seconds, he pushed her away, Albert wrote.

It’s a little weird, right? Check this out.

She grabbed her coat, picked up a steak knife and headed for the door. On the way, Smith walked up to the man and stabbed him in the back, court papers said.

The man and others called 911. A sheriff’s deputy found the man sitting on porch with the knife sticking out of his back, the blade buried a few inches in. His lung had collapsed from the stabbing.

Sticking out of his back! Someone is a wee bit oversensitive. The prognosis?

The man is expected to recover from the injury.

Whew. What did Ms. Smith have to say for her feet … er, herself?

Police arrested Smith at her parents’ home. She denied knowing about any stabbing and declined to speak with investigators.

Perhaps it’s a little late for the denial …

A witness told police that Smith came to his house that night and told him that she had hurt someone and she was in trouble. She told him someone had taunted her.

Doh! Here’s the source.

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You may be wondering: “Can you break that?” Unfortunately for Mr. Doe, the answer is “yes.” And yes, it gave rise (sorry) to a lawsuit. The case, out of Massachusetts, is John Doe v. Mary Doe.

Facts. The summary judgment record, viewed in the light most favorable to the plaintiff, Coveney v. President & Trustees of the College of the Holy Cross, 388 Mass. 16 , 17 (1983), establishes the following facts. The plaintiff and the defendant were in a long-term committed relationship. Early in the morning of September 24, 1994, they were engaged in consensual sexual intercourse. The plaintiff was lying on his back while the defendant was on top of him. The defendant’s body was secured in this position by the interlocking of her legs and the plaintiff’s legs. At some point, the defendant unilaterally decided to unlock her legs and place her feet on either side of the plaintiff’s abdomen for the purpose of increasing her stimulation. When the defendant changed her position, she did not think about the possibility of injury to the plaintiff. Shortly after taking this new position, the defendant landed awkwardly on the plaintiff, thereby causing him to suffer a penile fracture.

Yeowwwwwwwwwwww! So, did Mr. Doe make the case that Ms. Doe negligently broke his, well, you know? Nope. You can read the opinion here.