Unfortunately the method for virtually assuring that you’ll get your drugs is also the one that will likely get you busted. The method? Mail the drugs … to yourself! Per The Cairns Post [Australia]:
A man who posted himself an ounce of heroin has been sentenced to four years’ jail.
You mean the postal service screens packages? Newman!
How can The Juice be so certain that Jennifer Bibby, a 63-year-old neighborhood watch leader will catch the person who vandalized cars in her neighborhood? Because she did it! CCTV may be intrusive, but it doesn’t lie. As reported by swns.com:
Police officer’s widow Jennifer Bibby, 63, is an upstanding churchgoer and well-respected as a neighbourhood watch leader in a tight-knit community.
But she has been arrested and cautioned for criminal damage after being caught on CCTV attacking the cars of neighbours Clare Leverton and Suzanne Hoole.
Clare had suffered a number of vandalism attacks over recent years and believed hooded yobs were responsible for the latest damage, which occurred on Bonfire Night.
But Clare was stunned when the CCTV system she installed to catch the culprits spotted Jennifer covering the vehicles with flour and eggs.
Single mother-of-two Clare, who runs Attitudes Hair and Beauty in Hoddesdon, Herts., admitted she was ”shocked” when she saw Jennifer on the footage.
Clare, 44, said: ”The vandalism had been going on for years at my house so we decided to put up some CCTV cameras as a last resort.
What did Ms. Bibby have to say for herself?
”She denied everything to the police until they said ‘you are on CCTV’ and then she admitted it.”
Doh! You can read more (a fair amount) here.
The average person will not dial 999 [911 in the US] lightly. The subject of this post is clearly not the average person, because she called 999 when her snowman was stolen. Would the BBC lie? And even if they would, there’s audio of the 999 call. As reported by the BBC:
A woman who dialed 999 to report the theft of a snowman from outside her home has been branded “completely irresponsible” by Kent Police.
The force said the woman, from Chatham, thought the incident required their involvement because she used pound coins for eyes and teaspoons for arms.
During the conversation she said: “There’s been a theft from outside my house.” … “I haven’t been out to check on him for five hours but I went outside for a fag and he’s gone.”
When she was asked who had gone, the woman replied: “My snowman. I thought that with it being icy and there not being anybody about, he’d be safe.”
She was then asked whether it was an ornament, and answered: “No, a snowman made of snow, I made him myself.“
So, said the woman, maybe it’s not the best neighborhood, but …
“It ain’t a nice road but at the end of the day, you don’t expect someone to nick your snowman, you know what I mean?”
No, not really. 999 is for emergencies, know what I mean?
The operator then told her she had rung an emergency line and she should not be calling it to report the theft of a snowman.
Ch Insp Simon Black said: “This call could have cost someone’s life if there was a genuine emergency and they couldn’t get through.”
“We have spoken to her and advised her what is a 999 call, and this clearly was not.”
Clearly Chief Inspector Black has never had his snowman stolen. Here’s the source, including audio of the 999 call.
What in tarnation was going on in this Sacramento, California apartment? See if you can figure it out. From The Sacramento Bee:
Police attempted to serve a warrant on Fairfield Avenue. Officers said that they heard a woman talking inside the apartment, and they knocked, identified themselves as police officers and asked to speak to the woman. A man inside replied that she wasn’t there, but they could come back later. Officers again heard a woman inside and re-identified themselves, adding that if the occupants did not open the door, it would be forced open. After the residents again refused to open the door, it was forced open, and the woman was found talking to police and reporting that someone was trying to break into her apartment.
Uh… Sorry, wrong number.
Wait. That didn’t come out right. The “good deed” was an appearance at a charity event for children in Mumbai, India. And the person being sued is the beautiful actress/model Yana Gupta (yes, that’s her). Sadly, it is true that she is being sued for allegedly not wearing panties. As reported by The Times of India:
Actor and model Yana Gupta may have forgotten to wear her underpants at a recent charity function for kids in Mumbai but she sure won’t forget the episode in a hurry.
And Rizwan Ahmed, a self-proclaimed social activist in Lucknow, may just help to keep the controversy alive. Ahmed has filed a case against Yana, the photographer who clicked her pictures and the organizer of the event, Sushila Nirali for obscenity under section 292/ 293 and 294 of the IPC in the court of the Chief Judicial Magistrate, Lucknow on Tuesday.
The scale of this formal postal worker’s thievery is truly mind-boggling. As reported by 9news.com, he stole about 11,000 packages over a 2-year period!
Schmauder targeted packages sent from retailers like Amazon.com, looking for DVDs and CDs he could re-sell. Additionally, Schmauder stole Victoria’s Secret lingerie which he gave to his wife. He admitted to stealing as many as 50 packages a night for two years.
What did he do with all that stuff?
Schmauder resold the stolen items to Angelo’s Movies, Music and Gifts, a Littleton store which bills itself as the largest independent music store in the Denver area. Receipts showed Angelo’s paid Schmauder $85,174 for 11,829 items.
Sweet Mary! The sentence?
U.S. District Court Judge Christine Arguello sentenced Schmauder to 30 months, or two and a half years, in federal prison, the maximum according to sentencing guidelines …
You can read more (a fair amount, including information on his mental illness defense) and see a video of the story here.
If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.
And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.
No worries using the phone in the police station lobby under normal circumstances. Unfortunately for a certain young man in Eugene, Oregon, these were not normal circumstances! As reported in The Register-Guard:
A man suspected of bank robbery, who apparently just wanted to phone his parents, was arrested Wednesday. His mistake: making the call from the Eugene police station lobby. “I just assume that he didn’t believe that we’d recognize him,” Detective Ralph Burks said.
Note to self: Doh!
Police arrested Nathan Alan Bramlage, 23, about two blocks from the police station after an officer spotted him in the lobby and apparently recognized him from a surveillance tape of the bank robbery, which had occurred the previous day.
The officer alerted detectives, who trailed Bramlage on foot and arrested him without incident. He was booked into the Lane County Jail on charges of second-degree robbery as well as violating probation on an earlier charge of delivering heroin.
The arrest was made a little more than 24 hours after police responded to the Wells Fargo bank at 99 E. Broadway in downtown Eugene. A man had approached a teller, claimed to have a gun and left with an undisclosed amount of cash, police said. The bank also is just a few blocks from the police station where Bramlage came to use the public phone in the lobby.
With everything so close together, how about that minimal carbon footprint? Here’s the source.
The Juice can say with near certainty that such a pleading has not been filed before. The pleading? A writ of possible simcha. Say what? Was it granted? Click here to read it, and Judge Wood’s ruling. (It’s short.)
Let’s just say this story involves seeking comfort from an animal, specifically, a donkey. You have been warned. As reported in The Sunday News:
In an incident that left the people of Filabusi dumbstricken, a 71-year-old widower was last week arraigned before the courts after he was caught raping a donkey.
The accused, Edwin Ndlovu, resides at Lunyame Village [in Zimbabwe] under Chief Bekezela Sibaya. He was charged for contravening section 74 of the criminal law (Codification and Reform Act) chapter 9:23, Beastility.
Legal Juice