Articles Posted in Say What?

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After this experience, it’s hard to imagine any of these young men snorting anything again, EVER. Although they thought they were snorting drugs, turns out they were snorting dogs and a man. Yes, you read that correctly. As reported in The New York Post:

Waldo Soroa, 19; Matrix Andaluz, 18; Jose Marrero, 19; and two juveniles broke into a house in Florida, spotted white powder in two urns, decided it was coke or heroin, and promptly began snorting it, officials said.

Nope.

… the “drugs” turned out to be the cremated remains of homeowner Holli Tencza’s dad and her two Great Danes.

The [young men] said they eventually realized their mistake, and had a brief attack of conscience.

“Brief” being the key word …

They talked about returning the ashes that were left, but then they decided their fingerprints would be pulled off the urns, so they dumped the evidence in a nearby lake.

Here’s the source. [HT to a regular reader (who wishes to remain anonymous – can you blame him?) for bringing this story to The Juice’s attention.]

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You might think that someone is not going to hit you in the face and get away with it. But you probably hadn’t envisioned anything like this. As reported by fox17online.com (Michigan):

Two men say assaulted a woman assaulted them with a fish last weekend.

Holy mackerel! [Yeah, yeah. You try doing this every day for 3+ years!]

It happened Saturday on Little Black Lake near the corner of Wood Road and Judson Road in Norton Shores. Police say they received a call from two men from Egelston Township in their early 20s.

The men said that a woman had asked them to turn around while she urinated on the ice. When they did, the woman, a 29-year-old from Fruitport, threw a fish, hitting one of them. She then allegedly came up and slapped the other man in the face with a fish.

Someone is clearly having a bad day. So what happened with the cops? Zippy.

The two men decided not to file charges, and the case has been closed.

And you called the cops because …? Here’s the source, with a video news report of the story.

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The Juice recalls hearing of a biblical passage about the actions of the father being visited on his son. Here’s a case of a son’s action resulting in a very unpleasant visit for his parents. As reported by The Spectator [Hamilton, Ontario]:

Hamilton police are searching for a group of men who chased another man into his home and beat up his parents.

The incident began around 2:45 a.m. Monday when a 21-year-old man, who was leaving a bar in Hess Village, refused to give an acquaintance a ride, said police spokesperson Catherine Martin.

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Actually, it was an hour and three minutes… And if you assumed that the woman is a serial offender (other than the series in question), you’d be wrong. Per fox8.com:

… the [Police] Chief says the woman is not a habitual leadfoot. She has not had a traffic ticket in more than six years.

Said Sheffield Village Police Chief Larry Bliss: “This is the first time in my 22 years in law enforcement that I have seen anything like this.”

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Some things you can chalk up to just having a bad day. But this? Nope. Gotta check yourself way before your fist approaches the meter maid’s face. As reported by the Chicago Sun-Times:

A west suburban man has been charged for allegedly punching a female meter maid in the face after she wrote him a ticket Friday evening in the River North neighborhood.

Hasan Perryman, 37, of the 800 block of South 19th Street in Maywood, was charged with one count of felony aggravated battery of a government employee, police said.

Perryman is accused of striking a Traffic Management Authority employee in the face about 5 p.m. Jan. 14 at in the 110 block of West Grand Avenue, police said.

The woman was writing a ticket when the man approached and repeatedly struck her in the face, police said. He fled but was found by a responding police officer.

Repeatedly? Dude. What about the meter maid?

The TMA employee was taken to Northwestern Memorial Hospital, police News Affairs Officer Darryl Baety said.

Here’s wishing her well. (Hey, scofflaws, it’s nothing personal for the meter maids. It’s just business.)

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Most drunk people give themselves away. It’s only a questions of whether or not anyone takes note. Fortunately for this lady’s 3 kids, someone took note, and called the cops. What was the first indication that she overindulged? She was driving down the road at 10 mph with her right front tire out of air. Oh, and she was weaving. And just in case that’s not enough evidence, as reported by www.cleveland.com, here’s what the woman said when the cops pulled her over:

“I need to put gas in my tire.”

Case closed. (Not surprisingly, she failed field sobriety tests.) Here’s the source.

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Just when you thought you’d heard them all… Check out this excuse for speeding, as reported in The Local:

A woman from southern Sweden has lost her bid to have a speeding fine overturned on the grounds that she was suffering from diarrhea at the time of the offence.

The 49-year-old woman from Trelleborg explained to the local district court that she was experiencing stomach problems when she was pulled over for driving 86 kilometres per hour in a 70 km/h zone.

Only 86 in a 70 zone? How bad could it have been? Said the court:

A situation can only be classed as an emergency if somebody’s life is in danger or if a driver hits the gas in an attempt to prevent a serious crime.

As the woman’s desire to get home to her toilet did not fit into either category, the court ordered her to pay the speeding fine.

Newman! (It’s a Seinfeld thing.)

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Does it really matter how many tolls we’re talking about? [2,362!] Or how much money is involved? [$558,000]. Apparently it does, per a court in China, which is now reconsidering its life sentence. As reported by xinhuanet.com:

A court in central China’s Henan Province said Friday it would retry a farmer convicted of fraud and sentenced to life imprisonment for evading millions of yuan in expressway tolls.

The verdict may change because the defendant has indicated he had accomplices, said Liu Penghua, director of the political department of the Pingdingshan Municipal Intermediate People’s Court.

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This should be the worst thing that happens when people disagree with their elected representatives. As reported at www.scotsman.com:

Scotland Office minister David Mundell was hit by a pie as he arrived at a private reception yesterday.

Mr Mundell, the only Tory MP in Scotland, was in St Andrews, Fife, to attend a private event.

He was met by a group protesting against cuts to education.

It was not known who threw the pastry, understood to a be a shop-bought key lime pie.

Shop-bought? Where’s the honor in that? Nothing expresses a strongly-felt belief more than a home-baked pie or cake.

Conservative councillor Dorothea Morrison, who was also attending the reception at St Andrews, told the Courier newspaper: “He just took it calmly and said he wasn’t going to press any charges.”

A Tory spokesman said Mr Mundell, MP for Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweeddale, was at the reception in a party capacity and would not be taking further action.

Well played, sir. Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr. Mundell.