Articles Posted in Say What?

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gun
Seriously, it’s a dispute over one spot in a line, and you’re going to brandish a gun? You’re a cop! As reported at fusion.net:

A 911 recording has captured a Tennessee sergeant losing it over a RedBox movie rental.

In the call, obtained by the Knoxville News Sentinel, Sgt. Paul Story, an off-duty Knox County Sheriff’s Office employee, can be heard yelling and threatening a man, Timothy Nelson, after Nelson claimed the sergeant was cutting him in line. According to the KCSO’s own report, the newspaper said, Story was brandishing his gun during the heated exchange.

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law books lawyer treatise legal research
Law school is really expensive, and it takes three years. So how can you avoid it, and still be a lawyer? Well, just say you are a lawyer. That’s what this woman did, apparently quite well, as reported by newser.com:

A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade and made partner at her small firm before her fraud was discovered, according to charges announced yesterday. Kimberly Kitchen was charged Thursday with forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. State prosecutors contend Kitchen fooled BMZ Law by forging a law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school, and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The firm is based in Huntingdon, about 110 miles east of Pittsburgh. Kitchen, of nearby James Creek, handled estate planning for more than 30 clients “despite never having attended law school,” the attorney general’s office says.

She even served as president of her county bar, says her lawyer, who adds that “she’s an incredibly competent person, and she worked very diligently and was devoted to the people she served. There are things about the charges we don’t agree with.” But the Huntington County Bar Association’s current president called the charges insufficient given “the level of betrayal” over 10 years. Local lawyers were the first to raise questions about Kitchen’s credentials; in December, when the Huntingdon Daily News first reported on the case, the firm vowed to review her work. Kitchen, 45, was previously employed at Juniata College, where she worked in fundraising but “started holding herself out to be a lawyer,” says a senior deputy attorney. She’s married to a state conservation ranger and is no longer working, her lawyer says.

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choose choice money
In sports, that’s something you hear over and over. If it works, keep doing it until the other team stops you. Then adjust your game plan accordingly. Alas, sports is not like life in many regards, including this one. Just ask this gent, who was awfully fond of a particular convenience store. As reported by NJ Advance Media for nj.com:

As one officer pinned him against a fence and more officers arrived, a man suspected of robbing the same convenience store three times this week admitted defeat.

“OK, you got me,” he said, according to police reports.

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zombie
Due to the success of The Walking Dead, zombies are in. Nevertheless, they are not real.  As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter (Williamsburg):

A drunk man with a vision smashed up several storefront windows while raving about the coming zombie apocalypse, cops said.

The visibly intoxicated man broke into one of the businesses in the Shops at 240 Kent complex last week through an unlocked door, stole a fire extinguisher, and used the device to bash the windows, according to the authorities.

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one hundred dollar bill
Have you seen a hundred dollar bill lately? You can’t just photocopy copy them. This gent went to a little more trouble than that, but not enough! As reported by stlouis.cbslocal.com:

A former Belleville resident is accused of passing fake $100 bills at St. Clair Square mall.

Fairview Heights Police say they arrested 29-year-old Corey Wilson of Chicago on three counts of forgery and delivering forged documents.

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lab laboratory
Yes, they did find it in a Walmart bathroom. What was it? Well, per fox59.com:

According to a Walmart spokesperson, an associate noticed a man walking through the store with a backpack just before 11:30 p.m. at the Walmart in the 1500 block of E. 29th St . The associate recognized the man, and said he had been in the store a number of times before to buy stuff related to making meth. The associate notified police who were already at Walmart. Police followed the man, and he went into the bathroom. A short time later, the man came out of the bathroom without the backpack.

Members of the Pendleton District Meth Suppression Team were called to the Walmart to investigate the suspicious backpack left in the restroom. When troopers arrived, they discovered the backpack had an active meth lab inside.

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laundry drying clothes line
The word “locals” is used, which means that more than one person thought this item was an Isis flag. You’ll wonder about that too when you look at the picture (not the one above – the one at the link below). Anyway, as reported by thelocal.it:

Police were called to an apartment block in Porto Recanati, on Italy’s eastern coast, after locals raised the alarm that an Isis sympathizer may be within their midst.

The officers searched the building and questioned residents, but were unable to recover the mystery black cloth spotted hanging from a tree next to the apartment block.

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neighbors neighborhood
Aspen, Colorado is not a place you would normally find this kind of bizarre conduct.  No place, though, is immune from Juiecworthy behavior. As reported by The Aspen Daily News:

An Aspen Village man faces multiple felonies after he allegedly went into his neighbor’s home twice, poured out liquor bottles, threw away food and moved the man’s truck into his own driveway.

William Hallisey, 58, is charged with felony counts of burglary, robbery, criminal trespass, aggravated motor vehicle theft and two misdemeanors.

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disc golf
There’s a certain part of Helena, Montana where – let’s just say if you’re going there, LEAVE YOUR DISC AT HOME, lest you be accused of folfing.  You really don’t know what “folf” means? Well, as defined by the Helena Montana Code, folf is “A game formally called disc golf. It is played with golf discs and simulates the game of golf in accordance with the rules of golf on a course usually containing nine (9) to eighteen (18) “holes” or “tones”. The holes or tones are predesignated stationary targets. The purpose of the game is to hit each of the targets with the golf disc with a minimum number of throws.”

But you can’t just folf anywhere. No sir.

5-13-2: FOLFING PROHIBITED:

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middle finger flip the bird fuck you
You probably already guessed that the country in question is not the United States. The country is Turkey.  As reported by todayszaman.com:

The case was opened by former Justice and Development Party (AK Party) deputy and lawyer Süleyman Sarıbaş. In a leaked recording of a phone call that was made as part of the corruption investigation, Cengiz, of Cengiz Holding, which has received lucrative state tender contracts, such as for the third airport, was heard using extremely vulgar language with reference to the nation and the public. Sarıbaş sued Cengiz for TL 10,000 over the businessman’s comment to his friend, “We will f–k this nation,” referring to the people of Turkey. An İstanbul court on Tuesday decided Cengiz must pay TL 8, 000 in compensation.

Sarıbaş has promised to use the money awarded in the lawsuit to sponsor a new ablution area and bathroom for the mosque in his hometown.

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