Articles Posted in Say What?

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Knowing his demographic, The Juice feels confident that most of you are scratching your heads, or mumbling “WTF does that title mean?” or both. If you don’t know, see Casablanca. Anyway, this lady picked perhaps the worst bus stop, of all the bus stops, in all the … As reported by the Hunterdon County [New Jersey] Democrat:

Detectives Jesse Winfield and Lamont Garnes had just finished their shift and were leaving their office in Flemington when they drove past the LINK bus stop on Court Street next to their office.

Winfield recognized the woman waiting for the bus as Drexcella Jacque, 45, of Raritan Township and knew that she was wanted for violation of probation.

Uh oh.

They approached Jacque and after speaking with her, determined that she was unaware she was sitting at the bus stop that was next to the Sheriff’s Office, authorities said.

Oops.

Jacque was then arrested and lodged in the county jail on the warrant without bail, pending a court appearance.

Here’s the source.

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Everyone has to start somewhere. If this is any indicator, and it probably is, a life of crime is not in the cards for these blokes. As reported by BeeNews.com (New York):

The clerk at a gas station on Main Street reported a suspicious white Chevy in the parking lot. A male kept getting out of the vehicle and coming into the store to attempt to sell the clerk drugs. The passenger had been grinding up aspirin on the floor mat and attempting to sell it as cocaine.

Doh!

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Let’s just hope that this was the culmination of a series of unsuccessful attempts to get the local government’s attention on some issue. Why? Because if this was the opening salvo, yikes! As reported by The Burlington Free Press:

Witnesses said they saw a middle-aged woman with short blond hair bring the bloody, dripping raccoon up the steps and angrily whack it against the white double doors on the east side of the building, smearing the doors with blood.

Yikes.

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Is this guy the worst son of the year? If he’s not, he’s certainly a nominee, The Juice thinks you’ll agree. As reported by wtsp.com:

A concerned neighbor called deputies to the home of Sandra Newkirk and her 45-year-old son Ramey, after Sandra allegedly told the neighbor her son had beaten her.

Responding deputies say they found Sandra’s face bruised, but the 65-year-old woman was reluctant to tell investigators what happened, because she claimed her son had threatened to kill her if she told.

Meanwhile Ramey Newkirk claimed his mother got her injuries in a robbery on her porch a week earlier and never reported it because she “did not want to be bothered with it.”

Are you sure she didn’t fall down the stairs? Walk into a door?

Deputies continued speaking with Sandra, who eventually told them her son did indeed hit her with a glass eggnog bottle about a week earlier. She also claimed Ramey hit her in the head with a metal oxygen tank and was struck several times with a stun gun.

Damn! A bottle, a metal tank, and a stun gun? You’re probably wondering why a son would do this to his mama.

After being given his Miranda warning, deputies say he admitted to hitting his mother with a glass bottle. Ramey allegedly said he blacked out and was not sure why he did it.

Guess you’ll have to keep wondering. The charges:

Newkirk was arrested and charged with aggravated battery on a person 65 years of age or older. He also faces charges of tampering with a witness and grand theft.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot of Mr. Newkirk.

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Yes, of course just having the crack pipe was a bad decision. But the gent could have gotten off scot-free, crack pipe and all. As reported by The Windsor Star:

It all began when the man tried to rip off a cab driver, according to Chatham-Kent police.

An officer responded shortly after 1:30 p.m. to Raleigh Street in Chatham. A cab driver was complaining that he hadn’t been paid after giving someone a ride.

Police said the man ran up a taxi fare of more than  $44 then jumped out of the cab without paying.

Bad move.

The officer tracked the man down and searched him. He had a crack pipe with drug residue in it. The officer put the man in the back of a police cruiser with the intention of releasing him after investigating.

What? You were going to release a guy with a used crack pipe?

When the officer asked him to get out of the car so he could be released, the man refused. Even after repeated requests, he wouldn’t get out of the cruiser. The officer tried to physically remove the man, who then bit him on the hand.

A really bad move.

He was arrested. After processing him at headquarters, police took him to the Chatham-Kent Health Alliance as a precaution because of his ”bizarre behaviour” and possible drug consumption.

“Possible”? Really?

The 39-year-old man is charged with transportation fraud, possession of a controlled substance and assaulting a police officer. He was later released until a future court date. Police didn’t release his name.

The ever-resourceful Juice has learned the perp’s first name – Jack. You probably know his last name … Here’s the source.

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Sure, there have been mistakes made in the “war on drugs” and the “war on terror.” But exactly how Australian customs could make such a colossal mistake is hard to fathom. As reported at news.com.au:

Neil Parry was arrested in June last year at Darwin Airport and charged with trafficking 1.6kg of liquid ecstasy in two bottles of Pantene.

After spending three days in jail last year, and having friends’ homes searched, Mr Parry was granted bail.

There was just one teeny, tiny problem with the case against Mr. Parry.

Customs later admitted the toiletries contained no illegal drugs and all charges against Mr Parry were dropped.

NO DRUGS!

Today, Mr Parry told ABC Radio he had been given $100,000 in compensation for his ordeal and an apology.

Wow, so it worked out well for him after all? Not exactly.

“It is not worth it, no,” Mr Parry said.”I would rather it never happened,” he said.

He said most of the money would go towards his legal expenses.

Here’s the source.

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If you were in a food fight, you’d definitely want this guy on your side. As reported by The Union City Messenger (Tennessee):

Emanual Cordell Kennedy, 37, of 907 North Glendale St., Union City, was arrested at 4:38 p.m. Tuesday on a charge of domestic assault, according to a Union City Police Department report.

Brenda King, 55, told police she and her son, Kennedy, had a disagreement at her home at 907 North Glendale St. She claimed the disagreement escalated until Kennedy allegedly threw something and hit her in the back while she was walking down the hall. She left the residence and went to the police department to report it.

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Sure, all kids complain. But if they’re complaining about something you’re doing that’s illegal, ignore the complaints at your peril. A Minnesota couple learned this the hard way. Per The Duluth News Tribune:

A criminal complaint says the boy told investigators he had complained numerous times to his mother about the smell of the marijuana. He finally took the matter to his biological father, who told his son to take pictures of the marijuana. The father then forwarded the photos to authorities.

Drug agents served a search warrant on the house in Ravenna Township near Hastings last month and arrested Heidi Siebenaler, a Dakota County probation supervisor, and her husband, Mark Siebenaler. Both face charges in the case.

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A while back, there was an expression made popular by comedian Flip Wilson: “The devil made me do it.” A gentleman in Maine flipped [doh!] that around, as reported by wgme.com (Portland, Maine):

State Police say a suspect started making bizarre claims after he broke into a home in western Maine last week.

They say the suspect, a male who isn’t identified, was squatting at a home in Andover while the homeowner was on vacation. A state trooper says the suspect told him that his dog and Jesus told him to break into the home because he was supposed to meet Taylor Swift there and marry her in the back yard.

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