Articles Posted in Oops

So was Amy Schneider. She opened a can of green beans, and poured them out. Then she noticed a bean that looked a little bit too large. And it had teeth. And it was a snake head, about the size of a golf ball! So claims Ms. Schneider in a recently filed lawsuit.

That is what Londoner Tim Brady was clocked at by the police. Of course part of the blame belongs to the car, a Porsche 911 turbo. Brady was, and I mean “was,” employed by a company that provides high-end loaner cars. He badly wanted to drive the Porsche, but was denied permission to do so. No worries, though. He returned the following day – his day off – and took the car out for a spin with a co-worker.

While the police were busy ticketing someone for going a mere 115 MPH, Brady flew by. When stopped by the police, here’s what he had to say:

Oh shit, oh shit, I’ve lost my job, everything. I’ve just got a new job.

And it’s not like Brady was on the Autobahn. He flew through an area with cross streets, parking areas, and pedestrian access. I think the judge was probably a little pissed. The punishment? Ten weeks in jail, no driving for 3 years, and a fine of about $1,000.

Oh, and it took Brady 681 metres (about 7 football fields!) to stop! You can read more here.

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Yup. Now maybe he wasn’t a household name, but he was making some serious cheese – $2 million a year. Former Bengals linebacker James Francis (1990 – 1998) owes $905,000 in back child support for two children! He hasn’t made a child support payment since 2000. And where is Mr. Francis right now? He’s in jail. Guess why. Because he was convicted of …. failing to pay child support! And when he was charged with violating his probation, he didn’t show. Now he’s looking at spending 11 months in jail.

Dr. Alfredo Gonzalez, of Cape Cod, Massachusetts, learned this the hard way. While the doc was out, his burglar alarm went off. The police responded and, while searching for a burglar, instead found a $4,000 “BloomBox,” and seven marijuana plants. Doh! And guess where doctor Gonzales works? He directs a drug treatment facility! Word is, per court documents, that Dr. Gonzalez was tired of getting hosed, so he decided to cut out the grower and the dealer. Having been charged not just with possession, but with distribution and possession with intent to distribute, perhaps he now understands the reason for the mark-up. Those folks have a little more at risk than a guy caught with a little Mighty Mezz. You can read more here.

Ocean City, Maryland resident Richard Brueckner disappeared 12 years ago, right when Richard Thelander was “born.” Now these are just the allegations against Brueckner/Thelander (as reported in The Maryland Coast Dispatch), but it sure doesn’t look real good:

The charges against Brueckner … include about half a dozen cases where he forged his ex-wife’s name to obtain credit cards, which he quickly maxed out to their limits. The amounts ranged from around $5,000 on the low side to as high as $14,000 on another with several different amounts obtained in cash and merchandize on credit cards in between.

He also cleared out several of the couple’s other accounts and holdings, leaving his wife facing bankruptcy and a years-long struggle to clear up the financial mess.

Uh. Sorry. A Rhode Island doctor was suspended for operating on the wrong side of a patient’s brain! And the same thing happened at the same hospital (Rhode Island Hospital) in January of this year, and in 2001 (different doctors). Surgical protocol, anyone? Magic marker?