Articles Posted in Oops

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Hmm. A woman convicted of forgery appeared in court to receive her sentence. She asked the judge for a postponement due to health reasons, and presented a doctor’s note. Hmm. As reported by the San Luis Obispo Tribune:

Michelle Elaine Astumian was free on $45,000 bail and pleaded no contest in January to felony counts of forgery and using a fraudulent check.

The 41-year-old woman arrived Monday for sentencing in a San Luis Obispo County courtroom and presented a note with a doctor’s signature asking for a postponement.

The Juice knows what you’re thinking: “hmm.”

Prosecutor Dave Pomeroy called the doctor, who said the note is a forgery.

No! Who would do such a thing?

The judge immediately ordered Astumian into custody and she collapsed to the floor. An ambulance took her to a hospital.

Immediately into custody? So …

Pomeroy [said] … that Astumian will be sentenced later, but he doesn’t know when.

Victory! Sort of? Here’s the source.

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“We just robbed the Chicken Shack! We just robbed the Chicken Shack!” Okay, so these Lakeland, Florida perps didn’t actually yell that out, but they might as well have. As reported by wtsp.com:

Tuesday morning, Officers Tony Williams and David Kaiser responded to reports of a burglary at the Chicken Shack located at 813 West Memorial Blvd. When police showed up, they found the business had been robbed of t-shirts, beer and other property.

A witness who called in the burglary also reported seeing two men running from the store and was able to give a description of the men. A short time later, and not very far away, the officers spotted 35-year-old Chad Berrien and 31-year-old Rickey Wright.

You’ll recall that they stole some t-shirts. Yup …

Police say Berrien and Wright were both wearing Chicken Shack t-shirts and had several more in a bag. The suspects also still had some of the stolen beer minus what they had already drank.

They were drinking? No way.

Both men are charged with burglary and grand theft.

Here’s the source, including mug shots.

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It’s always nice when folks get divorced, yet remain civil. On the other end of the spectrum, at least from the ex-wife’s standpoint, we have this story out of Eutawville, South Carolina, as reported by The Times and Democrat:

The victim told deputies he got into an argument over the phone with his former wife at around 12:30 a.m. and it was agreed they meet at a location on Cement Bridge Road several miles southeast of Eutawville.

“Meet me outside of town on Cement Bridge Road.” Who would accept that invitation? Well …

When the man made his appearance at the designated location …

No!!!!

…he was met by four men who were strangers to him. He described one of the men as being “stocky.” The four men proceeded to beat the victim in the face and head, the report said.

Not cool. Adding insult to injury …

Two of the victim’s assailants then began punching his Chevrolet Silverado, the report said. One of them, described as 6-foot-2-inches and 240 pounds, “ripped the tailgate from the truck,” according to the incident report.

Not … my … truck! And what kind of justice is the ex looking for?

The victim said he wanted to file charges for the damages done to the truck.

Really? Just the truck? Apparently so. Here’s the source.

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Of all the buildings in Los Angeles this [allegedly] drunk person could have crashed into, he “picks” a sober living home? That’s just bizarre. As reported by KTLA:

A DUI suspect crashed a sport utility vehicle into a South Los Angeles sober living home early Saturday.

The driver and a passenger were trapped in his Ford Explorer temporarily after the vehicle slammed into Watts Healthcare Corp. Inc. located at 8005 S. Figueroa Street just before 1:00am, officials said.

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This gent was just minding his own business, enjoying the show, when a dancer’s shoe flew through the air and nailed him in the mouth, busting his tooth! Kinda ruined the show … and his teeth, at least according to the lawsuit he filed against the strip club. As reported by The Indianapolis Star:

According to a lawsuit filed Wednesday in Marion Superior Court, 34-year-old Jake Quagliaroli was sitting about 20 feet from the stage at PT’s Showclub, 7916 Pendleton Pike, earlier this month when a dancer’s shoe flew off in the middle of her performance.

The shoe allegedly hit Quagliaroli in the face, chipping his front teeth.

He had to get veneers and temporary caps as a result of his injuries. The veneers will have to be replaced every 10 to 15 years, and he might need a root canal in the future, his attorney said.

He’s claiming battery and negligence and is asking a jury to determine appropriate damages.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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That older man over there, do you know what he used to do? He looks vulnerable, but … A couple of young men learned that a certain 62-year-old still has it. As reported by TheLocal.se:

Gray-haired and requiring the use of a rollator to get around, Rolf Klasson certainly didn’t give the impression that he would put up a fight when two young men approached him on Tuesday in central Lidköping.

Klasson was about to take out money from a cash machine when one of the hoodlums demanded the elderly gentlemen give up his wallet, while the other brandished a knife, the local Nya-Lidköpings Tidning (NLT) reported.

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