Articles Posted in Oops

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There are more 5 million people in Scotland. So would it shock you to learn that some people have the same name? Me either. One name that at least 2 people in Scotland share is “Derek Lyon.” One of them is a convicted drunk driver who lost his license, and the other is … just Derek Lyon. Guess who the police busted? The wrong Derek Lyon. He told them that – but – you see – the machine had spoken.

And it got worse after the bogus bust. Mr. Lyon was taken to jail, where he spent 4 hours before being released. His car was impounded. Because he couldn’t afford to pay the fees to get his car back, the police CRUSHED it! Nooooooooo! Without his car, Mr. Lyon couldn’t get to work, and was fired. He also couldn’t visit his kids for months because he lacked transportation. (He was arrested in July, and just recently acquitted.)

Think he’s going to sue? Hell yes. As reported by Scotland TV:

Speaking after his court appearance, Mr Lyon, 36, of Balgarthno Terrace in Dundee, said he was going to sue Aberdeen Sheriff Court’s clerk’s office, the DVLA and Tayside Police.

He said: “I’m going to take legal action against the police for taking my car, the DVLA for putting somebody else’s offence on my licence, and the court in Aberdeen.

“I haven’t been able to drive until today. I spent four hours in the cells when I got arrested and my car got crushed even though I told them at the time it wasn’t me.

“The police came the next day and I told them again that I’d never been in Aberdeen Sheriff Court and that I wasn’t disqualified. The police in Dundee didn’t believe me but a local policeman in Blairgowrie where I lived at the time did and he tried to sort things out for me.”

To see the story as reported by Scotland TV, click here.

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It’s unlikely you’ll ever read another story like this. An inmate trying to stop guards from fighting? Actually, there’s a simple explanation: the dude liked the guards. As reported by The Buffalo News:

An inmate at the Erie County Correctional Facility lost a tooth last week when he intervened in a fight between two corrections officers scrapping over a bag of chips, prison personnel told The Buffalo News.

A bag of chips?!

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When a 51-year-old daughter wants to do something nice for her 80-year-old father, it’s a good thing. All agreed? Okay, what if the “thing” is hooking the father up with a prostitute? The Juice’s opinion remains unchanged. As reported by abcactionnews.com:

The pair, who listed their hometown as Dubuque, Iowa, were arrested on Nebraska Avenue, an area of Tampa known for prostitution activity.

Welcome to Tampa, Iowans!

According to the arrest affidavit, 51-year-old Pia Kirchberg offered an undercover police officer $20 if she would have sex with Kirchberg’s elderly father.

Both Pia Kirchberg and 80-year-old Maurice Kirchberg were charged with soliciting for prostitution.

“Prostitution is illegal. It doesn’t matter how old you are,” said police spokeswoman Laura McElroy.”If we catch you trying to solicit a prostitute you’re going to jail.”

With all due respect, wrong!. No judge or jury is going to send an 80-year-old man to jail for seeking companionship, however fleeting. Here’s the source, with mug shots.

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Well, it wasn’t supposed to be free. In fact, the store wasn’t even supposed to be open. But when you rely on computers too much, well, here’s what can happen, as reported by 3news.co.nz:

A security system computer glitch is being blamed for the doors opening and the lights coming on at a Hamilton supermarket, allowing a number of people to go in and help themselves to stock on Good Friday.

A very “good” Friday for those light-fingered folks …

The central city Pak ‘n Save was open for more than eight hours from 1am until someone rang police saying people were leaving the shop with “truckloads of groceries”, the Waikato Times reported.

How did this happen?

Owner Glenn Miller said he suspected the fault was linked to a command cancelling the normal opening time for the day. Usually the supermarket opens at 8am every day but the shop was meant to stay closed for Good Friday.

An embarrassed Mr Miller said he did not know how much stock was taken but he was delighted that 12 people had used the self-service tills to pay for items.

Wow. Delighted about 12 honest people? That is truly sad. If you want to read more (a fair amount) here’s the Waikato Times article.

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Like this young man who is running for Congress in Illinois, The Juice believes that pretty much everyone deserves a second chance. Just one problem for him, he used it, along with a third chance, and a fourth … Said Matthew Woodmancy of Peoria, as reported by The Peoria Journal Star:

“I learned the most from the felony. It was stupid. There are no and there should not be any excuses for it,” Woodmancy said Thursday. “I know it makes things more difficult. I’ve always thought things worth doing in life weren’t supposed to be easy. It was a huge, stupid mistake, but everyone deserves a second chance.”

You learned “most” from the felony? So you were good after that? Well, not exactly. Here they are, pretty much in order:

[The felony:] Woodmancy, who is on probation until 2013, said he was convicted of criminal theft for stealing from a family member and that person’s now-shuttered Bloomington-based business in 2006. He was sentenced to jail time, probation and $45,000 in fines and restitution, Woodmancy said.

After the crime he learned “the most” from …

In 2008, Woodmancy was charged with misdemeanor battery and pleaded guilty. He explained he was defending his mother during an altercation.

And then…

He also pleaded guilty in 2009 to driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol and has more than a dozen other traffic tickets, including driving on a suspended license. Woodmancy said his license has been revoked and most of his fines from the traffic tickets have been referred to collections.

Apparently there’s a significant lag time between the event and the learning from it. Regarding his past, said Mr. Woodmancy:

“While I am not proud of the darker chapters in my life, I firmly believe they have helped shape me into the man I am today. There is not and can never be excuses for what I did.” …

“I allowed my darker demons out-shout my better angels,” he said. “I have turned my life around, thanks to the help of friends and family, and now want to continue upon a dream I have had since I was a small boy, the dream of serving my fellow Americans in public office.”

Even though it’s all public record, props to Mr. Woodmancy for releasing his complete criminal record to the press. Here’s the source.

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Like everyone else (except the perps), The Juice is pleased when drunk drivers make things easy for the fuzz. As reported by The Beacon-News (Illinois):

A 43-year-old Oswego woman was charged with drunken driving after police responded to calls about a woman throwing up out of her car at 6:40 p.m. Monday near Ashlawn Avenue and Circle Drive West, Oswego police said. Officers found the car driving in the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street. Tessy Callas, of the 0-99 block of West Jefferson Street, Oswego, was also charged with illegal transportation of liquor, police said.

Other than vomiting, what else do drunk people do? Here’s a hint: zzzzzzzzzz.

Selina Nieto, 33, of the 200 block of Abbeywood Lane, North Aurora, was charged with drunken driving last week after police were called for a woman asleep at the gas pumps in the 500 block of Montgomery Road, police said Monday.

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To those of you who have a problem with the phenomenon of bikini-clad baristas, this post almost certainly won’t do anything to change your opinion. But if you’re a fan, you can put this arrow in your quiver. Why? Because if this “Sweet Cheeks” barista hadn’t been so concerned about her appearance, her appearance would have been drastically altered. As reported in The Highline Times (Washington) Police Blotter:

One person was slightly injured when a minivan crashed into a bikini espresso stand near S. 262nd St. and Pacific Highway. Police at the scene say that the minivan went off the highway and crashed head-on into the drive-thru window at Sweet Cheeks Espresso. The driver was slightly hurt in the crash.

According to crews at the scene, the barista who would have been standing at the window was unhurt, as she was actually touching up her make-up in another room when the minivan hit.

Here’s the source.

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