Articles Posted in Oops

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The dumb part? Getting so drunk that he passed out. The lucky part? That he passed out on train tracks. Yes, that is the “lucky” part because this youngster crashed in between the tracks. So when the train ran over him, per The Des Moines Register:

Two railroad engineers for Iowa Interstate Railroad said they saw 17-year-old Christian Latshaw on the railroad tracks as they were moving east and crossing a Des Moines River bridge to East First Street south of Court Avenue about 10:45 p.m., according to a Des Moines police report.

When the engineers, David Good Jr. and John Knutson, realized a person was in front of the train, they applied the emergency brake, but the engine and first car still went over the top of Latshaw before the train stopped.

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&@#$#@)+&!!!! Everyone has thought about cussing someone out. Lots of us have done it. Not so many have done it on another attorney’s voicemail. A longtime prosecutor in Clark County, Washington sure wishes he hadn’t. As reported in The Columbian …

A 27-year veteran attorney of the Clark County Prosecutor’s Office — who has tried a number of high-profile criminals — has been demoted after leaving an explosive, profanity-laced two-minute voice-mail message on a defense attorney’s cellphone.

What made Mr. David so angry?

The situation started May 25, when [prosecutor Jim] David received an email from defense attorney John Terry notifying him that the defense attorney was prepared to go to trial the following week. Terry was representing Matthew L. Coonce, arrested on March 3 on suspicion of possessing methamphetamine and stealing a car.

David was under the impression that Terry wanted to postpone Coonce’s trial, so David said he had already scheduled several conflicting appointments. The next day, he called Terry, telling him a trial would force him to “cancel my weekend.”

Here it comes (with expletives reinserted):

“You’ve been telling me you wanted a continuance on the [fucking] case, and now you are telling me you want to go to trial next week,” David said in the voice mail. “I’m [fucking] laying you out. This is absolute [bullshit].”

David went on to say harsh words about [defendant] Coonce.

“It’s coming out of your client’s hide if I have to go to trial next week, and there ain’t going to be no stinking offers,” David said in the message. “There ain’t going to be nothing coming other than go to prison for a very long time.”

Although Mr. David has paid a price for losing his temper, he was right about that last bit.

Prior to trial, Terry filed a motion to dismiss the case because he felt David was guilty of telephone harassment and his actions unfairly prejudiced his client. Clark County Superior Court Judge Barbara Johnson denied the motion. The case went to trial and Coonce was convicted on June 3.

You can read a fair amount more here.

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You sell cars. A prospective buyer tells you that he wants to test drive a particular car … alone. Why alone, you might wonder? Wonder or not, this salesman agreed, and, as reported by the Oak Park (Illinois) Trib Local:

A man in his 40’s stole a gold 1996 Ford F150 truck valued at $3,500 from a car dealership on the 6100 block of Roosevelt Road ay 4:10 p.m. June 17.

The man requested to take the test drive alone while the salesperson followed in another vehicle. The man eluded the salesperson and fled.

Doh! Dude has bad judgment, and apparently isn’t a very good driver either.

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A convenience store clerk in Florida might as well have said “Hey fellas, want some money? Help yourself!” Here’s how it went down, as reported by www.wpbf.com:

Boynton Beach police said two men entered the store [the aptly-named E-Z Market] and found the clerk asleep in the back.

Police said one of the men took between $300 and $400 from the register while the other man kept watch to make sure the clerk didn’t wake up.

Both men then rode off on a bicycle, police said.

Fellow cyclists? Dagnabbit. Please, don’t hold this against The Juice and the ever-increasing number of cyclists out there.

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So, you’re telling me that if metal is exposed to the sun, it’ll get hot? NFW! Who would have thought that? Not this woman, who had some wire in her bathing suit (guess where) and got burned. As reported by The New York Post:

A Long Island sun worshipper landed in the hospital with third-degree burns on her bust after the underwire in her two-piece bathing suit became superheated, she said.

Underwire? Oh, so that’s how come this suit makes me feel so much younger! Who knew?!

The black Coco Reef swimsuit had been sitting in her drawer for a while before Robin Corrente, 50, of Yaphank, got the chance to try it out.

She wore it on a 90-degree afternoon in August 2008 to soak up some rays in her yard. “After about an hour, I was hurting,” Corrente said. “I went up to take a shower and I realized . . . I had a lot of blisters.”

A trip to the hospital confirmed she had serious burns, and doctors had to remove a piece of flesh “the size of a dime” from her right breast.

Yikes. That had to hurt. Now she’s trying to take down the very folks who helped, um, prop her up.

Corrente is suing Coco Reef manufacturer Swimwear Anywhere in Manhattan Supreme Court. Swimwear Anywhere declined to comment.

And if you think The Juice is rooting against Ms. Corrente, think again. Although she could have thought of the scenario of the wire heating up during sunbathing, certainly the manufacturer should have foreseen it. Here’s the source.

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It’s never a good idea to leave the keys in the ignition. It’s an especially bad idea under these circumstances, as reported by The Brooklyn Paper

A thief stole a $50,000 tractor trailer packed with $200,000 in beef on Grand Street on May 30.

The driver told police that she was making a delivery to Western Beef at 3:30 am, and parked her truck near Gardner Avenue with the key in its ignition. She returned 10 minutes later to suffer a bum steer.

$200,000? That’s some seriously choice meat, or a helluva lot of it, or both.

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There’s often an innocent explanation for even the weirdest behavior. Let’s just say you want to keep some pills warm. Where on your body would you put them to accomplish this? Now it’s not like your hiding them – just keeping them warm. Well sir, as reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News…

A man was arrested after deputies found 55 pills hidden under his groin.

How exactly do you find pills in someone’s groin? This gent made it easy.

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Really. Mr. Bryson Pillars was chewing some tobacco when … [I’ll let the Mississippi Supreme Court take it from here. They just don’t write them like they used to.]

It seems that appellant [Mr. Pillars] consumed one plug of his purchase, which measured up to representations, that it was tobacco unmixed with human flesh, but when appellant tackled the second plug it made him sick, but, not suspecting the tobacco, he tried another chew, and still another, until he bit into some foreign substance, which crumbled like dry bread, and caused him to foam at the mouth, while he was getting “sicker and sicker.” Finally, his teeth struck something hard; he could not bite through it. After an examination he discovered a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. We refrain from detailing the further harrowing and nauseating details. The appellant consulted a physician, who testified that appellant exhibited all of the characteristic symptoms of ptomaine poison. The physician examined the toe and identified it as a human toe in a state of putrefaction, and said, in effect, that his condition was caused by the poison generated by the rotten toe.[emphasis added]

I … think … I’m … going … to … be ………sick. So I guess you know what happened to Pillars at the trial court.

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Nothing wrong with shooting at cans with a .22 … unless it’s in the middle of a suburban neighborhood! What kind of dope would do this? This kind, as reported at www.thedestinlog.com:

Two men were arrested Thursday after a homeowner on Pompano Street complained he’d found two bullet holes in his garage door.

That’s a little frightening, but it gets worse.

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