If you were to consider various means of escaping the country, there’s no way you would even include a kayak on your list. Well, it worked for this gent. As reported by The Hunterdon County [New Jersey] Democrat:
Steven Pieczynski, 38, who also once lived in Lambertville, was convicted by a jury in a trial conducted by Superior Court Judge Stephen B. Rubin in March. Assistant Prosecutor Anthony Anastasio presented the case.
But he wasn’t jailed pending sentencing. And there was a kayak, and …
Most of us would like to be young again. Okay, so most of the old folks like The Juice would like to be young again. And many of us say that we act young and feel young, and that’s all that matters. Not to this Texas lady. She went back to relive it all. As reported by newschannel10.com:
Police say Charity Anne Johnson was arrested after giving officers a fake name and birthday going by “Charity Stevens.” This is also the same alias Johnson used to enroll at the high school.
A spokesperson for the school said Johnson was brought in to enroll with a person who she claimed was her guardian and gave a date of birth indicating she was only 15. Staff at the school discovered her identification was fake and not only that, but that she had been a student there since October 2013.
On your birthday, you get a little leeway. A little. As reported by wlsam.com:
Will County Sheriff’s deputies were called to Precise Stone in the 14000 block of West Illinois Highway on April 30 when the owner reported a former employee trying to steal property.
Uh-oh.
Yes, you can get busted for walking down the street with a Bible. And yes, of course there is more to the story. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:
The Bradenton Police Department detained a naked man after he was spotted walking in the 1100 block of Martin Luther King Avenue West at 12:09 a.m. Sunday, according to a report.
Details, details. So the guy was nude. People are too uptight.
The Juice’s middle school teachers were so boring. Such was not the case for a Houston middle schooler. As reported by The Houston Chronicle:
A 42-year-old Aldine middle school teacher who allegedly performed a lap dance for a student on his birthday has been charged with a felony.
Felicia A. Smith, of Spring, is charged with improper relationship with a student, according to a criminal compliant filed in the case.
Maybe it’s not an addiction. A fetish? Whatever the reason, this gent is flat out not allowed to go to this Walmart, but he can’t help himself. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:
A man went into a local discount store to buy lightbulbs. He paid for them and left the store. No problem, right?
Actually, it was a problem. And why was that?
Who would go to a restaurant if they suspected the food might be tampered with? Well, there’s at least one woman who appears to fall into this category. As reported at highlinetimes.com (Washington State) in the police blotter:
A Burien woman dining at the Tung Kee Mi Gia Chinese restaurant that opened in north Burien in late 2013 called the police after she suspected cooks of serving her urine with her meal on the evening of March 17th. The victim insisted that police come to the restaurant on the corner of 16th Avenue S.W. and 112th Street to investigate the suspicious sauce she had been served. Upon arriving on the scene, police quickly discovered that what the victim believed to be a small cup of urine, was actually a small cup of fish oil. Despite having no evidence to substantiate her urine claims, the woman insisted the fish oil be tested. Police report zero urine findings.
With no evidence, The Juice is left wondering why the police wasted their time. Actually, it was probably a good investment – so she wouldn’t continue to hassle everyone about it forever. Hey lady, fuhgeddaboutit! And next time, ask them to hold the fish oil.
It’s unclear if this guy is a member of the first group of folks. He’s definitely someone who sucks at Walmart. As reported by The Independent Tribune (Concord, North Carolina):
Michael Anthony Brown, of 207 Lincoln St. SW, Concord, was arrested and charged with assault on a female in March after police say he approached a woman in a Lincolnton Walmart, told her he was a podiatry student and sucked on her toes.
Very credible story. Can you believe she didn’t buy it? He has tried less subtle approaches.
Of course it’s believable that a car being chased by one police car escaped, right? Absolutely. What about two? Three? Keep going. As reported by The Hamilton Spectator:
Two video game thieves in a stolen car evaded a helicopter and officers from five police services in an incredible 90-kilometre [55.9 mile] chase from north Toronto to downtown Hamilton.
That’s five police services and a helicopter! And check this out.
It’s safe to say these folks won’t be going to each other’s house for dinner any time soon. As reported by The Daytona Beach News-Journal:
A brawl between two families in Oak Hill on Sunday night included punching, scratching and a pit bull named Ellie May and her master both biting their neighbor at the same time, a Volusia County sheriff’s report shows.
Yikes! You can read a ton more, and see a mug shot, here.
Legal Juice