Normally when a woman finds her husband appetizing, that would be a good thing, right? Not this time! Per The Palm Beach Post:
City police say a woman poured barbecue sauce on her husband and went after him with a knife in each hand Tuesday, according to an arrest report made public Wednesday.
Viven Palmer, 30, faces charges of battery, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and resisting an officer. She was released late Tuesday from the Palm Beach County Jail on $5,000 bail.
Law school is really expensive, and it takes three years. So how can you avoid it, and still be a lawyer? Well, just say you are a lawyer. That’s what this woman did, apparently quite well, as reported by newser.com:
A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade and made partner at her small firm before her fraud was discovered, according to charges announced yesterday. Kimberly Kitchen was charged Thursday with forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. State prosecutors contend Kitchen fooled BMZ Law by forging a law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school, and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The firm is based in Huntingdon, about 110 miles east of Pittsburgh. Kitchen, of nearby James Creek, handled estate planning for more than 30 clients “despite never having attended law school,” the attorney general’s office says.
She even served as president of her county bar, says her lawyer, who adds that “she’s an incredibly competent person, and she worked very diligently and was devoted to the people she served. There are things about the charges we don’t agree with.” But the Huntington County Bar Association’s current president called the charges insufficient given “the level of betrayal” over 10 years. Local lawyers were the first to raise questions about Kitchen’s credentials; in December, when the Huntingdon Daily News first reported on the case, the firm vowed to review her work. Kitchen, 45, was previously employed at Juniata College, where she worked in fundraising but “started holding herself out to be a lawyer,” says a senior deputy attorney. She’s married to a state conservation ranger and is no longer working, her lawyer says.
Yes, they did find it in a Walmart bathroom. What was it? Well, per fox59.com:
According to a Walmart spokesperson, an associate noticed a man walking through the store with a backpack just before 11:30 p.m. at the Walmart in the 1500 block of E. 29th St . The associate recognized the man, and said he had been in the store a number of times before to buy stuff related to making meth. The associate notified police who were already at Walmart. Police followed the man, and he went into the bathroom. A short time later, the man came out of the bathroom without the backpack.
Members of the Pendleton District Meth Suppression Team were called to the Walmart to investigate the suspicious backpack left in the restroom. When troopers arrived, they discovered the backpack had an active meth lab inside.
Aspen, Colorado is not a place you would normally find this kind of bizarre conduct. No place, though, is immune from Juiecworthy behavior. As reported by The Aspen Daily News:
An Aspen Village man faces multiple felonies after he allegedly went into his neighbor’s home twice, poured out liquor bottles, threw away food and moved the man’s truck into his own driveway.
William Hallisey, 58, is charged with felony counts of burglary, robbery, criminal trespass, aggravated motor vehicle theft and two misdemeanors.
You probably already guessed that the country in question is not the United States. The country is Turkey. As reported by todayszaman.com:
The case was opened by former Justice and Development Party (AK Party) deputy and lawyer Süleyman Sarıbaş. In a leaked recording of a phone call that was made as part of the corruption investigation, Cengiz, of Cengiz Holding, which has received lucrative state tender contracts, such as for the third airport, was heard using extremely vulgar language with reference to the nation and the public. Sarıbaş sued Cengiz for TL 10,000 over the businessman’s comment to his friend, “We will f–k this nation,” referring to the people of Turkey. An İstanbul court on Tuesday decided Cengiz must pay TL 8, 000 in compensation.
Sarıbaş has promised to use the money awarded in the lawsuit to sponsor a new ablution area and bathroom for the mosque in his hometown.
Although The Juice has strong opinions, you are unlikely to meet anyone with the conviction of this Idahoan. Under these circumstances, this is not a good thing. As reported by ktvb.com
A Boise woman is facing felony charges after police say she attacked a Jewish acquaintance, stomping on the woman’s neck as part of a bizarre bid to convert her to Christianity.
Margurite Dawn Haragan, 58, has been charged with two counts of malicious harassment in an attack police have labeled a hate crime.
In describing this woman as the “best panty thief ever,” The Juice is talking volume. But volume isn’t everything. You know how athletes are often characterized by their level of field awareness? Well, this woman has absolutely NO camera awareness, which will probably lead to her apprehension. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
A woman pilfered 785 pairs of panties at the Victoria’s Secret at Lenox Square Mall on Saturday, Officer Ralph Woolfolk said Thursday.
The suspected thief put the panties in three shopping bags in a raid on the store lasting two hours and absconded, Woolfolk said.
Regular Juice readers know that an inmate having a cell phone is not an uncommon occurrence. If you’re wondering how the inmates get them, The Juice would wager that very, very, very few get them this way. As reported by The Mirror:
Police found 10 crossbow bolts, 18 mobile phones, SIM cards and the bow that had been left in a weapons case just 100-metres from the prison fence.
Yup, a crossbow!
Sure, maybe you get 2-for-1 occasionally. Hell, maybe you go to a super sale now and again, and with multiple markdowns, get something for 90% off the original price. But you will never, ever get the deals this woman gets when she travels. Via kstp tv (Minneapolis, Minnesota):
ABC News reports “serial stowaway” Marilyn Jean Hartman [age 63] was arrested Monday in Florida. She’s accused of posing as a guest and checking into a resort property after boarding a flight to Jacksonville International Airport without a boarding pass.
Two questions: How the hell do you get through security without a boarding pass? How the hell do you get on the plane without a boarding pass?
It’s very common for the law to have to catch up with technology. But what if the crime is something you just wouldn’t consider? This is such a case, as reported by The Chicago Tribune.
Jamarcus Applewhite was nearly finished with an eight-hour day hauling cars to Wisconsin early Thursday morning when he thought he popped a tire on the Bishop Ford Freeway just minutes from his destination.
Applewhite, 34, pulled his truck and trailer off to the side of the road near Sibley in Calumet City and got out to inspect the damage.
Legal Juice