Articles Posted in Odd Cases

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What name could be so bad that a Chicago Alderman held up the sign permit for 2 1/2 years? “Felony Franks”. Yes, The Juice is scratching his head too. As reported by The Chicago Sun-Times:

After a 2½-year battle that culminated in a First Amendment lawsuit, the City Council’s Transportation Committee will meet on June 6 to issue the sign permit local Ald. Bob Fioretti (2nd) has been blocking on grounds that the name sends a “bad message” to area students.

Sorry Bob, but you’re the one sending the wrong message: censorship because YOU don’t like the message.

The agreement hammered out in federal court this week stipulates that Fioretti and three other aldermen named in the lawsuit will no longer “oppose, interfere or obstruct” the permit application process for Felony Franks, 229 S. Western.

What does the owner of Felony Franks think?

“We live in the greatest country in the world. We have freedom of speech. If I cannot be allowed to call my business what I want, then we’re living in a dictatorship, not a democracy,” said owner Jim Andrews, who hires ex-offenders. “If you fight hard enough for what you believe in, the system works. The only thing wrong with the system is the consumer shouldn’t have to fight as hard as I had to fight for what’s right.”

And Bob, since when is helping to reintegrate ex-cons into society a bad thing? Oh, and about that lawsuit …

[It’s] still pending and Andrews is still demanding $293,000 in damages for business lost during the 2½-year sign battle.

Here’s hoping Mr. Andrews is victorious. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Really. Mr. Bryson Pillars was chewing some tobacco when … [I’ll let the Mississippi Supreme Court take it from here. They just don’t write them like they used to.]

It seems that appellant [Mr. Pillars] consumed one plug of his purchase, which measured up to representations, that it was tobacco unmixed with human flesh, but when appellant tackled the second plug it made him sick, but, not suspecting the tobacco, he tried another chew, and still another, until he bit into some foreign substance, which crumbled like dry bread, and caused him to foam at the mouth, while he was getting “sicker and sicker.” Finally, his teeth struck something hard; he could not bite through it. After an examination he discovered a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. We refrain from detailing the further harrowing and nauseating details. The appellant consulted a physician, who testified that appellant exhibited all of the characteristic symptoms of ptomaine poison. The physician examined the toe and identified it as a human toe in a state of putrefaction, and said, in effect, that his condition was caused by the poison generated by the rotten toe.[emphasis added]

I … think … I’m … going … to … be ………sick. So I guess you know what happened to Pillars at the trial court.

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Nothing wrong with shooting at cans with a .22 … unless it’s in the middle of a suburban neighborhood! What kind of dope would do this? This kind, as reported at www.thedestinlog.com:

Two men were arrested Thursday after a homeowner on Pompano Street complained he’d found two bullet holes in his garage door.

That’s a little frightening, but it gets worse.

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Sure, there’s an old saw about “hiding in plain sight.” But really, does it sound like a good idea to grow marijuana on school property? And if you’re going to throw out there that it was in “a wooded area,” you probably think that “hiding in plain sight” is actually a good idea. As reported by News4Jax.com:

A homeless man was arrested Monday after a school resource officer at Lake City Middle School [Florida] found several marijuana plants growing in a wooded area on school property, Columbia County deputies said.

Detectives said they were able to use surveillance of the area to find 33-year-old Damon Crosby caring for the plants.

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At any given time, most students dislike at least one of their teachers. That said, you can’t just go around putting STAPLES in a disfavored teacher’s coffee! As reported by WHSV (Virginia):

As of Tuesday, charges have been filed against a 15-year-old William Monroe High School student for allegedly putting staples in his teacher’s ice coffee.

In case you might be thinking the charge is a misdemeanor …

At a court hearing Monday, the teen was charged with felony adulteration of food, drink, drugs, cosmetics, etc. with the intent to kill or injure any individual who ingests, inhales or uses such substance.

And if you’re wondering how the staples went down, surprisingly, the answer is: unnoticed.

The victim of the assault, a ninth grade English teacher, unknowingly drank the staple-spiked coffee May 10 but was not seriously injured.

But that may not be the end of it for the teacher.

Maj. Randall Snead, with the Greene County Sheriff’s Office, reports authorities are monitoring the teacher’s condition since the damage caused by the staples may not be readily apparent.

Here’s the source.

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Not only did this gent have an interesting method of shoplifting shoes, but he took orders by text! As reported by www.fox41.com:

An arrest report for 36-year-old Sean A. Harrington lists him as “not employed,” but some may say that’s debatable after reading the description of his alleged crimes. Police say he was caught stealing merchandise from Rack Room Shoes on S. Hurstbourne Pkwy., near Six Mile Lane, on Friday afternoon. According to the report, Harrington was allegedly, “concealing shoes down the front of his pants” and left the store without paying.

That can’t be too comfortable …

From there, he allegedly proceeded to a Marshalls clothing store, and allegedly stole clothing valued at $99.95.

Police eventually caught up with Harrington and arrested him.

Let’s go to the videotape …

When a security at Rack Room Shoes reviewed their surveillance records, they discovered that Harrington had stolen a total of $539.89 worth of goods from their store between April 17 and May 20.

And how did the police figure out he was taking orders? Easily.

Upon Harrington’s arrest, police were able to examine his cell phone — and they made a significant discovery. The arrest report states that the phone, “had numerous text messages of others ordering merchandise from [Harrington], who would then go out and steal specific items.”

Doh!

He was charged with receipt of stolen property and theft by unlawful taking.

Here’s the source.

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So maybe it’s not CSI, but it’s damn impressive nevertheless. As reported by www.big1059.com out of Miami,Florida:

An Akron man who pleaded guilty to aggravated burglary and robbery will spend six years in prison. 40-year-old Charles Smallwood was also sentenced to an additional four years on two other pending cases for a total ten year sentence.

About the duct tape …

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Better lucky than good? Hell yeah! And nobody knows it better than this Wisconsin driver. As reported by The Green Bay Press-Gazette:

According to the police report:

 [Nichole] Lavin was traveling northbound on Memorial Drive at a high rate of speed and swerving in and out of traffic when she lost control of her car.

Uh-oh.

Witnesses said her vehicle struck the median, went airborne, crossed the southbound lane and then rolled four times before landing in the front yard of a home in the 3600 block of Memorial Drive. 



Damn! But wait. Then …

Lavin was thrown from the car, likely through a back window that was already broken, flew through the branches of a pine tree and landed on the garage roof of the home. 



On the garage roof, out cold … What? Not out cold?

Lavin climbed off the roof, with help from bystanders, and tried walking away from the scene.

Clearly this woman needs to capitalize on her superpowers. Or play the lottery. Who walks away from all that? And you’ll be shocked to hear that …

Alcohol was a factor in the accident.

Here’s the source.

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So maybe watching TV isn’t the most social activity. Nevertheless, it’s still more enjoyable to watch TV with someone else, right? Well, what if the “someone else” is a complete stranger, who walked in off the street? As reported by The Arab Times:

In a bizarre incident, an unidentified person took the liberty to enter the house of a Kuwaiti man and switch on the TV in the sitting room, reports Al-Rai daily.

According to reports this happened when the Kuwaiti with his wife was sitting in the first floor balcony of his apartment and he heard the TV sound coming from the sitting room below.

When he went down the stairs to check he found a stranger watching the TV. When the Kuwaiti approached him the intruder did not even make an attempt to escape rather he agreed to go to a police station.

Wacky.

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Remember, The Juice said this was “a solution” not a good one. The solution? Grab your 22 and shoot the dog. That’s just what a town councilman in Utah did. Yikes. As reported by The Salt Lake Tribune:

Rick E. Wilberg, 58, was arrested after he admitted to killing his neighbor’s dog [a 9-month-old teacup chihuahua!] with a .22-caliber rifle. The dog, named Rocky, belonged to Peggy Redmiles, whose three-quarter acre lot shares a fence line with Wilberg’s property.

Police reported that children had been playing nearby when Wilberg shot the dog. When police spoke with Wilberg, he admitted to shooting the dog, saying “he had been sick of listening to the dog bark and warned her and she done nothing about the dog so he shot the dog,” the police report states. He also had been drinking vodka.

He warned her! And she did nothing! This does not strike The Juice as a very good defense. (Mind you, The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer.) As you might have guessed, Mr. Wilberg had other problems with his neighbor.

Redmiles, who moved into their home six years ago, describes her relationship with Wilberg becoming contentious about three years ago, for reasons she still doesn’t understand. She said that he complained about her chicken coop, over-watering her garden and the noises her swimming pool made. She said she has since gotten rid of the chickens and garden, and turns the pool off at night to try to keep the peace.

The charges?

Wilberg was booked into the Duchesne County Jail on suspicion of animal cruelty, a third-degree felony, and for public intoxication.

Here’s the source.