Articles Posted in Odd Cases

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Everyone speeds some. This Illinois gentleman, though, is in a class by himself. Let’s hope so, anyway. From the pages of The Beacon News:

At 182 mph, Rodney Jones was covering almost the length of a football field every second on his Suzuki Hayabusa motorcycle.

That is not a typo. 182! This probably won’t surprise you:

…. Jones, 39, has what officers believe is the fastest speeding ticket ever recorded in the Chicago area — and likely the state.

Hell, probably the world.

“When I looked at the radar and saw 182, I couldn’t believe it,” said Heinzl, who clocked Jones going more than three miles a minute in what he characterized as “moderate” traffic, before Jones surprised him by stopping.

“I asked him why he didn’t run and he said, ‘I wasn’t in the mood to run. If I’d wanted to run, I’d have run.’”

It’s unlikely he displayed the same demeanor before the court, because he surely could have done a lot worse.

Jones was fined $375 and ordered to buy high-risk insurance, according to court records and the Illinois Secretary of State.

Click here for the full story, including a photo of Mr. Jones.

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These women knew that they were virtually untouchable by the police. Why? Because they were pregnant (or suckling)! Per the Qianjiang Evening News (via ChinaDaily):

A group of 46 pregnant women were arrested and prosecuted for theft in Hangzhou, Zhejiang province.

The women, who committed more than 400 thefts a month in the city, vary in ages from 20 to 40. They repeatedly got pregnant, because police will not usually arrest pregnant women or women suckling. One member in the group even got pregnant eight times in 10 years.

After they were arrested, the number of robberies in the city decreased noticeably.

If you know of a stranger gang, The Juice is all ears.

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Some people smoke weed. Some people believe god tells them to do things. Therefore, some people who smoke weed believe god tells them to do things. No? Of course not. You need not have taken formal logic to know that is complete BS. Nevertheless, there was a young man in West Hartford, who, after smoking weed said he was doing god’s work… As reported by The Hartford Courant:

Police said a Middle Road resident arrived home Sunday and noticed the front door had been kicked in. [Levon T.]Sarkisyan [27], who identified himself as Leon Sark, then walked out the front door and told the homeowner “a light from above told him to do this,” said Farmington police Sgt. Stephen Egan.

Sarkisyan then told the homeowner he’d broken into the house because “God wants me to help the world,” Egan said. He then told the homeowner, “I mean you no harm.”

While in the house, Sarkisyan used a fireplace poker to smash statues, including one of a Roman soldier, and a marble table, causing about $10,000 in damage, Egan said. Sarkisyan also rummaged through closets, took a shower, then dressed in the clothing of a deceased former resident, Egan said.

No harm to you, just your house and your stuff.

The homeowner told Sarkisyan to sit down, then fumbled with a phone trying to call 911, Egan said.

Sarkisyan said, “You see, God will not let you use the phone,” Egan said.

Er, um, okay.

As they waited for police, the homeowner asked Sarkisyan how he broke into the home.

Sakisyan then stood up, “flexed his arm and said, “you see, super human strength,” Egan said.

Officers arrived moments later and took him into custody without incident.

Why, Sark, why?

Later, Sarkisyan told officers he’d smoked “a strange strand of herb” that caused him to do what he did, Egan said.

The charges?

… third-degree burglary and first-degree criminal mischief …

Sark clearly has problems, but lack of an education is not one of them. He graduated from UConn. Click here for the source, which includes one of the wackiest mug shots The Juice has seen in a while.

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Your boat breaks down in the middle of nowhere. But wait, help is on the way … or is it? Well, sort of. As reported by The Florida Sun-Sentinel:

Boynton Beach TowboatU.S. captain Timothy R. Pooler was dispatched to rescue two men in a disabled boat 25 miles off Delray Beach.

But the rescue operation Thursday evening suffered some irregularities, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Pooler, 63, arrived drunk, four hours after being dispatched, and for several hours towed the disabled boat around in circles.

Doh!

At dawn, he asked the men, Lionel Casey and Lewis Dames of Fort Lauderdale, to drive his tow boat, which then ran out of fuel. Casey and Dames took fuel from their boat, which regained power after the engine had cooled sufficiently.

And they lived happily ever … um, not so fast.

So they towed Pooler’s boat. Until they decided to cut him loose.

Well, that was cold. Maybe not unreasonable, but still cold. And then?

Then their boat broke down again.

Hmm. Karma?

About 12 hours after their initial breakdown, a second tow boat delivered the men to shore — in Jupiter, 30 miles north of their departure point. The FWC picked up Pooler, who admitted that he was drinking and should not have reported for duty as a tow boat operator, and charged him with drunken boating.

All arrived home safely. It could have been a lot worse, like if the Captain was a tow truck driver. Here’s the source.

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You sell cars. A prospective buyer tells you that he wants to test drive a particular car … alone. Why alone, you might wonder? Wonder or not, this salesman agreed, and, as reported by the Oak Park (Illinois) Trib Local:

A man in his 40’s stole a gold 1996 Ford F150 truck valued at $3,500 from a car dealership on the 6100 block of Roosevelt Road ay 4:10 p.m. June 17.

The man requested to take the test drive alone while the salesperson followed in another vehicle. The man eluded the salesperson and fled.

Doh! Dude has bad judgment, and apparently isn’t a very good driver either.

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A convenience store clerk in Florida might as well have said “Hey fellas, want some money? Help yourself!” Here’s how it went down, as reported by www.wpbf.com:

Boynton Beach police said two men entered the store [the aptly-named E-Z Market] and found the clerk asleep in the back.

Police said one of the men took between $300 and $400 from the register while the other man kept watch to make sure the clerk didn’t wake up.

Both men then rode off on a bicycle, police said.

Fellow cyclists? Dagnabbit. Please, don’t hold this against The Juice and the ever-increasing number of cyclists out there.

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So, you’re telling me that if metal is exposed to the sun, it’ll get hot? NFW! Who would have thought that? Not this woman, who had some wire in her bathing suit (guess where) and got burned. As reported by The New York Post:

A Long Island sun worshipper landed in the hospital with third-degree burns on her bust after the underwire in her two-piece bathing suit became superheated, she said.

Underwire? Oh, so that’s how come this suit makes me feel so much younger! Who knew?!

The black Coco Reef swimsuit had been sitting in her drawer for a while before Robin Corrente, 50, of Yaphank, got the chance to try it out.

She wore it on a 90-degree afternoon in August 2008 to soak up some rays in her yard. “After about an hour, I was hurting,” Corrente said. “I went up to take a shower and I realized . . . I had a lot of blisters.”

A trip to the hospital confirmed she had serious burns, and doctors had to remove a piece of flesh “the size of a dime” from her right breast.

Yikes. That had to hurt. Now she’s trying to take down the very folks who helped, um, prop her up.

Corrente is suing Coco Reef manufacturer Swimwear Anywhere in Manhattan Supreme Court. Swimwear Anywhere declined to comment.

And if you think The Juice is rooting against Ms. Corrente, think again. Although she could have thought of the scenario of the wire heating up during sunbathing, certainly the manufacturer should have foreseen it. Here’s the source.

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You can allege anything. The question is, can you prove it? Check out the allegations in a lawsuit currently pending in Fairfax County (Virginia) Circuit Court, as reported in The Washington Post:

Paragraph 10. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”

Paragraph 12. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.”

Paragraph13. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”

Paragraph 14. “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.”

So those are the allegations. Said the defendant’s lawyer …

… there was “no statement by anyone that they were driving on the Beltway having sex” and “no facts on it.”

The Post also reports that …

Records show the defendant, from Woodbridge, was convicted in Fairfax district court of drunken driving near Telegraph Road in May 2010. But now he denies he was driving. (What?) He was coming from his 21st birthday party in Baltimore, court records state. The woman involved has been dismissed from the case. There was someone ELSE in the car too, and HE denies driving as well.

Should be quite the trial. (It’ll take place next week.) Here’s the source.

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Remember The Juice’s post 2 days ago about the epic thermostat battle between 2 sisters? Well, this post involves 2 brothers who got into it over a bottle of shampoo! As reported by The Sheboygan Press:

Two brothers were charged Monday with disorderly conduct for fighting over a bottle of shampoo, according to a criminal complaint.

Jonathan R. Pippert, 32, and Jared J. Pippert, 27, came to blows Sunday at their home at 2728 S. 10th St., where both live with their mother. Jonathan Pippert faces up to two years behind bars due to prior offenses, while his brother face a maximum of 90 days.

2 years! Shazam!

According to a criminal complaint: Police called for a reported disturbance found Jonathan Pippert was on the lawn swearing at his mother. He and his brother both had scrapes and bruises throughout their upper bodies.

Both brothers said the fight began when Jonathan Pippert went into his brother’s bedroom and took a bottle of shampoo while Jared Pippert was in bed. Each claimed the other attacked him, forcing him to defend himself.

The Juice’s call: offsetting fouls. Dismissed!

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Well, it’s certainly not the first place folks would look for missing property. Nevertheless, by her own admission, Ms. Jones hid the jewelry in her, uh, um … you know. As reported by The Sandusky Register:

Erie County Sheriff’s deputies arrested an Elyria roofer who told them she stole valuable jewelry from a Wakeman home and concealed it inside her body.

Elizabeth N. Jones, 19, is in the Erie County jail on charges that include theft, burglary, tampering with evidence and possession of drugs.

Michele Halliwell, 12000 block Ohio 113 East, told deputies Jones had been part of a crew working on her roof when she went inside to use the restroom and asked to use the bathtub to wash her legs. Shortly afterward, Halliwell noticed her husband’s wedding ring and grandmother’s diamond ring were missing.

Someone had also rifled through her purse and wallet.

… [Jones] also admitted she’d gone inside the Halliwell home looking for something to steal and had concealed the rings inside her vagina. Deputies asked a female nurse at the jail to recover the rings, which together had an estimated value of $5,000.

Yikes. Surely the nurse was thrilled to get that call. Here’s the source, with a mug shot.